Beauty often fails to mirror the torrent of emotions that well within me. When looked upon by the eyes of others, my façade is collected and regal. An upturned smile often pulls at my lips and my lyrical voice, though soft and delicate, pulls the attention of my companions. Little do they realize my obsession with self hate. My need to criticize every thought, every feeling, every word. Is what I said going to doom me? Are they paying me mind because of my gentle appearance? Can I every truly be accepted? Why am I like this?

While I battle with my negativity towards myself, I often find solace in aiding others. I have been described as "the perfect nanny", or "the reliable one". I find that being the one every soul can approach brings me peace. As they tell me their woes, I remember that I am not alone in the war against myself. Everyone has their struggles, and although it doesn't put to rest the darkness that creeps around me, it lessens the blows.

I have always believed that there is room to grow. A chance to thrive. I do not hesitate to comfort others and provide a shoulder when needed. So why can't I give myself the same peace?