10-17-2021, 06:55 PM
Mazikeen
She shakes her head instantly at his question, even though it is without venom. Even if it is just filled with exhaustion, she doesn’t want him thinking that for a second that what happened was his fault.
If they really wanted to blame someone, if her suspicions about who it had been are right - the fault was more Mazikeen’s than it would ever be Firion’s.
It would be so easy to sink into that guilt, to let it wash over her and drown her, but before it can she holds onto the lifeline that is the soft, golden warmth she can feel in her heart. Nestled next to her faith in Firion is something else that grows with affection for him, for the piece she went so long without seeing that wants to save and protect. This piece that cares so deeply it makes him want to change things he can’t. Another side of whatever had inspired him to soften the side of a mountain or pull a blanket of shadows over her so she would be more comfortable.
It's something they have in common and it is enough to let her hopes run wild that maybe they stand a chance. That the ease with which she can stand here with him, even when both exposed and broken, is not fleeting.
He pulls back and when their tear-bright gazes meet she can feel that warmth spike and spread. But this can’t possibly be the time to speak of it, even though he says he wants to think about something else. So she keeps it tucked tight inside her along with the wish that there will be plenty of other, better, opportunities in the future.
Mazikeen reaches out to touch his golden cheek when she finally answers his question, just because it still thrills her that she can. And because she appreciates that he cares enough to ask, even if it is only in part for a distraction. “I’ve been okay.” It’s such a small, simple word to sum up the complicated twist of emotions inside of her but it is the closest thing to the truth she can manage without dragging them both back down.
Especially if they are trying to change the subject.
“I’m worried about Malik. I don’t… I don’t know if I can undo the lessons he learned... when I was... well. You know.” Mazikeen frowns, turning her head away for a moment. Not intentionally to hide her troubled expression but like she can somehow read the answer to her problem in the lines of the mountains and trees. It had been easier to be a mom when she wasn't herself but trying to unravel the damage she and Gale had caused felt like a full-time job.
Which reminds her of her other full-time job, the one she often neglects and though it is so insanely trivial compared to everything else she finds herself saying the thought that appears anyway. “And I guess I need to figure out something to do with Silver Cove. It’s been sitting empty for too long.” There's a small apologetic smile in her orange gaze when she looks back to Firion, because she knows how silly of a concern that sounds considering everything else. Surely she can find a better way to distract him.
If they really wanted to blame someone, if her suspicions about who it had been are right - the fault was more Mazikeen’s than it would ever be Firion’s.
It would be so easy to sink into that guilt, to let it wash over her and drown her, but before it can she holds onto the lifeline that is the soft, golden warmth she can feel in her heart. Nestled next to her faith in Firion is something else that grows with affection for him, for the piece she went so long without seeing that wants to save and protect. This piece that cares so deeply it makes him want to change things he can’t. Another side of whatever had inspired him to soften the side of a mountain or pull a blanket of shadows over her so she would be more comfortable.
It's something they have in common and it is enough to let her hopes run wild that maybe they stand a chance. That the ease with which she can stand here with him, even when both exposed and broken, is not fleeting.
He pulls back and when their tear-bright gazes meet she can feel that warmth spike and spread. But this can’t possibly be the time to speak of it, even though he says he wants to think about something else. So she keeps it tucked tight inside her along with the wish that there will be plenty of other, better, opportunities in the future.
Mazikeen reaches out to touch his golden cheek when she finally answers his question, just because it still thrills her that she can. And because she appreciates that he cares enough to ask, even if it is only in part for a distraction. “I’ve been okay.” It’s such a small, simple word to sum up the complicated twist of emotions inside of her but it is the closest thing to the truth she can manage without dragging them both back down.
Especially if they are trying to change the subject.
“I’m worried about Malik. I don’t… I don’t know if I can undo the lessons he learned... when I was... well. You know.” Mazikeen frowns, turning her head away for a moment. Not intentionally to hide her troubled expression but like she can somehow read the answer to her problem in the lines of the mountains and trees. It had been easier to be a mom when she wasn't herself but trying to unravel the damage she and Gale had caused felt like a full-time job.
Which reminds her of her other full-time job, the one she often neglects and though it is so insanely trivial compared to everything else she finds herself saying the thought that appears anyway. “And I guess I need to figure out something to do with Silver Cove. It’s been sitting empty for too long.” There's a small apologetic smile in her orange gaze when she looks back to Firion, because she knows how silly of a concern that sounds considering everything else. Surely she can find a better way to distract him.
@firion