"But the dream, the echo, slips from him as quickly as he had found it and as consciousness comes to him (a slap and not the gentle waves of oceanic tides), it dissolves entirely. His muscles relax as the cold claims him again, as the numbness sets in, and when his grey eyes open, there’s nothing but the faint after burn of a dream often trod and never remembered." --Brigade, written by Laura
Her wing dropped with a hushed whisper, once again concealing her secrets he’d nearly forced her to share as she leaned into him and tucked her head on his shoulder. He let out a slow breath, somehow relieved that she would allow him this, to hold her this way without pushing it on her. That she, in a small way, returned the embrace. It made him want to curl his neck and pull her closer, but somehow he refrained from this too. Determined not to force himself on her more. If he could help it.
Her head lifted and he could almost feel her studying his disfigurements. He stood relaxed under her scrutiny, though his chest tightened with his own past. How he’d been such a handsome colt, impossibly alluring and thick with muscle. Larger than some stallions, even, as barely a yearling. He’d been attractive. He hadn’t really cared though, as his heart and full attention had always been on Cerva. She had filled his every thought, his every breath, glued to her side until the day he left to study under the magician where he learned to fight, learned to kill. Ruthless, merciless, brutal. Striking a quick death. All in the name of protecting her. But he’d forgotten everything under the pressure of rigorous training. Taught himself to push it all out of his mind to the point that he never pulled it back in again and it was lost.
He could still do that. It still happened. It was why he hadn’t remembered Aurora at first.
He was still in training. Still forgetting things. Still forgetting to remember them.
He didn’t move, but his entire focus snapped to her as she touched him. He sensed it in her movements, rather than felt it. He couldn't feel through his bone, only the over-sensitive flesh surrounding it. She traced the armor plate to where it sunk inside him, or rather, where it pushed out from within him. His breath caught when she brushed against his skin, his body tensing up taut and rigid. Don't… he whispered, afraid of what the touch would do to him, what he’d do to her. The slightest touch could have such powerful affects on him, often with dark consequences.
But she moved to a place on his shoulder instead, to the slash of white down his shoulder that often blended with his bone plates. The only white of his tobiano pattern. She massaged gently, and slowly, gradually, the tension eased from him, almost hesitantly. She breathed into him, spoke softly into his warmth, ”Don’t leave me. Not yet.”
As you wish, he said softly into her neck, rubbing his mouth slowly along her muscle without kissing her this time. But how he ached to. They don't make you any less beautiful. Only stronger, more fierce, more defiant. It wasn't the same for his bone armor and skeleton-thin body. He was grotesque, a living nightmare. He had come to terms with it, no longer a beautiful colt but a menacing stranger. Dangerous in every glimpse of him. So easily the weeping wounds could be covered in blood that wasn't all his. It could be hers, even. If he wanted to. Tear into her before she could think to run or fight back.
But holding her was so much better.
Kissing her again would've been even better.
But he would continue to show her the good, he thought with a sigh. It was difficult with all the black inside him. Forceful and controlling, so selfish. Taking what he wanted, when he wanted it came as naturally to him as breathing. He wasn't sure how much longer he could hold his breath for her. Maybe he should go. Especially if he kept thinking about touching her more, kissing her more. It had never been an issue when he'd had Cerva, he'd never wanted anyone else. But with her gone, possibly dead because of him, he was set loose like a rabid beast. He took from whoever he wanted. An endless hunt to find what he longed for, to find what he was missing, whatever Cerva had that kept him with her and her alone.
Maybe I should go, he finally said, regretful. He didn't really want to. I live in Ischia, he brushed quietly into her skin again, barely restraining from kissing it into her. Always his home, and never his name. So he could be found, but not summoned. Not at first.
Its alright, you'll be fine baby, I'm in control Take the pain, Take the pleasure. I'm the master of both
In that moment they shared she had shown him the darkness that haunted her and he had shown her the goodness inside him. They were one in the same really. Having chose different ways of coping with their misfortunes. She had chosen the light while he the darkness. Either of them stepping on the shaky boundaries of each. Her only hope was that he had a brief moment of relief as she had from their twisted world's...
Her past had risen and fallen, just as her wing had. The strength in her heart pushed the darkness away as she smiled comforted by his strong embrace. She could feel his tension and then it faded as she groomed the edge of his light and dark hide. Tracing the very line between the world's they lived. They don't make you any less beautiful... His words didn't catch her by surprise. He had shown he was capable of kindness. Her only thought was of him as she still could view plainly the bones protruding from his body. Angelic voice whispered her own thoughts to him, "Nor do yours."
She did not view him fore the monster he claimed to be. His exterior appearance had always been a marvel to her but not in a bad way. Maybe because she related so much. Just as she settled into him, she felt him pull away from her. An urgency followed by hesitation to leave. Maybe I should go... A slight sign escaped her as she slightly leaned heavier into his chest. Her small head turning into his muscular neck, pressing her forehead into him. He spoke of his homeland but didn't give his name. If he wished to give it he would. She wasn't going to force it upon him. She smiled kindly as her body retracted from his. Gold flecked eyes peered into his as she spoke gently, "It was nice seeing you again. I'd offer you my homeland but I don't really have one." Her eyes shifted downwards as she wasn't sure of herself or what to say. "Maybe we will meet again, in time," her eyes meeting his again, hopeful. "My offer still stands... If you ever decide you need a friend," her final words sincere. She smiled this time with her eyes. The brightness they had had, returning once more...
"Nor do yours," she commented back. He scoffed quietly, amused that she'd even bother trying to say so. His appearance most definitely made him far less beautiful, less attractive than he once was. He supposed she couldn't know that, though. She couldn't possibly imagine how thick and strong and handsome he'd been before the magic was pushed into him. She probably thought he was born this way.
But he wasn't sure Cerva could have loved him if he had been.
Maybe that was why he'd lost her. Why she'd left and disappeared.
No.. He'd abandoned her. That was why. He'd failed her.
As though she could sense the sudden heaviness of his faithless heart, she leaned further into him. His eyes drifted closed as he pressed firmly back, curled his neck behind hers and held her tighter. Embracing her was both comforting and painful, so painful. He wouldn't touch anyone this way if he still had Cerva. This could only happen because he didn't have her anymore. He never would.
He didn't look up as she let go of him, black eyes firmly on the ground at his feet as though they had also gone as weighty as his heart. He hated realizing how lonely he was. It was understandable, he supposed. He'd gone from being someone's absolutely-everything, to being absolutely nothing to anyone. Yeah, he should definitely leave. Go back home and lose himself in his training where there was no room for such pathetic, hopeless thoughts. Self-pity was definitely a new one for him. Self-hate, not so much.
"Maybe we'll meet again, in time." He nodded silently. Yeah, maybe. "My offer still stands... If you ever decide you need a friend." His empty gaze finally lifted with a hollow sort of smirk. But he still said nothing in response. Instead, he stared into her bright, golden eyes as he reached slowly to lay a soft kiss to her cheek. Then, without a word, he turned away. To head home. To training. To forget everything.
But maybe he would remember her this time.
Its alright, you'll be fine baby, I'm in control Take the pain, Take the pleasure. I'm the master of both
so it might've already ended but apparently he couldn't help himself and had to write anyway. :|
Silently she stood, watching as he turned and moved off. Her ears flicked forward as her smile slowly dissipated. She wondered if she had helped him in any way or if her actions were pointless. She had hoped not. She didn't believe he was a waste of the moments she had given him... Even if he did.
As he became a distant figure she turned to scan the area with golden flecked eyes. Now what? Where would she find herself now? Milky legs moved her in another direction as her mind wandered once again...
AuroraElis
