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  • Beqanna

    COTY

    Assailant -- Year 226

    QOTY

    "But the dream, the echo, slips from him as quickly as he had found it and as consciousness comes to him (a slap and not the gentle waves of oceanic tides), it dissolves entirely. His muscles relax as the cold claims him again, as the numbness sets in, and when his grey eyes open, there’s nothing but the faint after burn of a dream often trod and never remembered." --Brigade, written by Laura


    Any;
    #1
    dovev

    It was a different place, but not a new one.

    It wasn’t where he’d first found Leliana, where he so often had returned to time and time again. So often he’d stare down at that patch in the wildflowers as if her weight still pressed down on them, replay her memory like a beautiful tragedy. A love he lost. A love he’d never deserve. His love would kill her. His kind would break her down and tear her apart, bleed her out and steal her soul. His distance was her greatest protection. It’s what he told himself. But really he was just a coward when it came to her. Afraid he’d do nothing but cause pain and disappointment. He didn’t even need to see her to do that.

    God, but he couldn’t stop the rage igniting each time he saw someone even speaking to her, looking in her direction. Took everything he had not to charge in, not to force himself into her life as though he had any right. He may never stop wanting her.

    But the place he was in now was somewhere further on the outskirts, near the cover of trees. The last place he’d ever seen Cerva. He needed this place today as he stood still under a noon sun and stared into the shadows, needed to focus on her. Because he was such a different person when they were together, and he didn’t understand what he’d become since. He never realized what losing her would do to him. Always, from the very beginning of his life, it had been he and her. Together. The sight of any other never affected him at all unless negatively. The advances of any other disgusted him, made him lash out violently in rebuff to make sure it’d never happen again. Just he, and her. No one else. As it should be.

    That bond had been unbreakable, he’d thought. Until he left, recruited himself for an instruction he probably hadn’t been strong enough for. To protect her, always. Until he forgot everything under the weight of his training, pushed it all out of his mind until it was hidden from him. Until he forgot her too.

    Now.. Maybe he was broken. He still felt that tie in him, the link to a former self that was so impossibly -sometimes violently- faithful and caring, so loving. But also obsessive, possessive, controlling. That’s who he was. Never really a good person, only these terrible things still, and more now. But who he was with Cerva was still so much better. Maybe still reachable somehow. He just didn’t know how. Needed to find it again. How could he tell someone he loved them -and mean it, god, he meant it- and turn around and fuck someone else? It had eased the pain, like a drug, a painkiller. Then it became something else, something new he didn’t understand.

    Now.. he mourned and ached for Leliana, missed and missed a child he didn’t deserve, fucked a brother and sister duo like some sick animal. And since that wasn’t enough, tore them apart also, wedged his way through their precious bond and chewed away at it like a rabid beast. Always on the outside of their relationship, the unstable element, the third wheel whenever they came around to piss him off and turn him on. Just someone to add to their fun when they got bored and remembered he even existed. And now inserting himself far deeper than he’d ever wanted in their mess. Unexpectedly, accidentally, finding something there that he didn’t know he ached for, selfishly stole it for himself whether it destroyed them or not.

    God, and his mentor, his master. Where the fuck was he?

    He needed a goddamn anchor in this world. He was flying off like a loose cannon, throwing himself at any sense of safety, security, stability he could find. Everything Cerva had been. Every little piece of her he could find in anyone, anything else. Maybe he wouldn't know until he found it again, if there even was something to be found. Or maybe he was stuck like this forever, fragmented and hurtful, destructive. The catalyst.

    He stared into that dark treeline with hard, black eyes, his body sunken in and blood dripping from around armor plates, felt a stray tear fall down a chiseled and wasted cheek. Felt like a child again, lost without his mother. Lost without his lover. A beast of Hell that never should have been set free in the world.

    So say the word and I'll be running back to find you
    A thousand armies won't stop me, I'll break through



    ooc: he apparently needed to rant and whine. hats off to any brave soul that touches this thing :|

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    #2

    Life had a way about it.  A way of chewing some up raw laying bare all their wounds for the world to see.  Life also had a way of healing those wounds.  In some way, shape or form but one has to be open to healing, to change.  Maybe some were incapable of changing.  Too deep in their own destructive ways and to see they needed change would require strength.  Much greater strength than Hercules even possessed.  No that kind of strength would do no good.  It had to be from within...

    In her wandering from the children's playground she meandered into the meadow.  It was very similar to the playground but instead of the young playing games of tag carelessly, here the elder played.  What games she was unsure.  Mainly conversations struck between old friends of memories long ago but some of new friends just having met.  She had met few in her year here.  Fleeting moments that went as fast as they came.  Then it was just her again.  

    The sun kissed meadows were teaming with life and as her amber gaze scanned over the land it fell from face to face.  She smiled and nodded if they looked her way but most were busy and she wasn't one to bother.  Until a familiar figure was seen lingering alone.  Her ears perked upon her crown as she searched for the memory within her.  It had been a short meeting to say the least.  Confusing as well as the pied golden stallion plucked away at his clear suffering.  As she studied him from a far his fortunes hadn't seemed to have improved.  Her heart ached for his.  She was a caring person by nature and offered her friendship quite easily.  Just as she had offered her shoulder that day for him to bury himself in.  

    She gathered her thoughts and approached the large stallion.  His unique frame just as she remembered.  The wounds still seeping from where the bone plates emerged.  His head was hung low in dismay.  His posture begged for help, for comfort.  She wasn't sure how but she wanted to help him.  If it was offering a moment of her time so he didn't feel so alone she'd give it. An eternity if needed.  Slowly nearing his side so she didn't startle him she lowered her own crown.  Stopping a few steps away as amber gaze rested on his face.  Quietly she spoke gentle words, "Hi there.  Do you remember me?  I remember you.  We met not long ago." She waited for some sign of recognition before she continued, "I'm Aurora.  You look like you need a friend.  I'd like to be your friend.  Would you like to be mine?"  She didn't bother ask how he was or if he was ok cause clearly he wasn't.  That only opened doors to denial.  Sometimes all one needs is a friend...  

    AuroraElis

    Not all that Glitters is Gold

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    #3
    dovev

    He was lost in his thoughts, his pathetic musings, but he still heard her approach so quietly, still analyzed the pace of steps and the weight pressing into the grasses. The magician had taught him well, after all. So, chances were it was female, and possibly hesitant or something. He didn't really care enough to think more on it. They weren't a threat, and they weren't Cerva. Why couldn't it ever be Cerva.

    She didn't seem interested in continuing on either, and she stopped not far away. A soft voice, like a sweet melody or quiet lullaby, played from her lips and he finally turned dull, black eyes to her.

    "Hi there. Do you remember me?"

    Uhh, no. Should he? He frowned. There was almost something there... Something about those wings that looked like the decorative tail of some exotic bird. Something in those deep, doe-like eyes, maybe. It tickled at the back of his mind, taunted him to remember yet another memory he must have forced from his mind for the sake of his focus and training. He felt like he was so close to remembering, so close, but damn it slipped away and only frustrated him more.

    "I remember you," she continued, further driving home the fact that he'd forgotten yet another person in his life. Hopefully, she hadn't been as vital as Cerva had been. But no, she said they'd met not long ago. Then again, he'd met Leliana not long ago and she was damn important.

    He held his silence, waiting for more hints that might produce- Well, then there was a flash of Zoryn, gold and painted. His frown deepened. God, this wasn't one of Zor's toys, right? ...Nah, she looked too soft, too sweet, too kind-hearted. Looked more like.. well, more like someone Dovev would be attracted to rather than Zor. That didn't help him remember though.

    Aurora, she introduced herself -or maybe reminded him- made an offer of friendship. Yeah, okay, so clearly they hadn't known each other long at all. He didn't have friends. He had enemies. He had victims. Well, temporary victims. Hard to be a victim when they're dead, he supposed.

    "I'd like to be your friend. Would you like to be mine?"

    Babe, I think you're making a mistake by even talking to me.

    Another fragment of memory slipped in, of him.. talking to her? Staring at her? Reaching for her. Afraid to soil her with the trail of blood seeping from him but wanting to touch her. And then Zoryn attacking. Yeah, that tended to happen to people who spoke to him or were seen with him. Either attacked by him or one of his enemies. Or, maybe in that case, Zoryn who wasn't really an enemy, but wasn't exactly a friend. He didn't have friends.

    He glanced around, hoping he wouldn't see any bastard he knew that would start trouble thinking she may be someone that actually mattered to him. He wasn't too keen on the idea of having to protect her, this graceful beauty that couldn't possibly belong in the life of such a beast as he. Well, clearly he cared enough to warn her. That was disturbing.

    Whatever.

    You should probably move on, he advised, suggested. His life wasn't exactly safe, wasn't exactly beautiful and kind, and gentle souls like hers didn't belong in it. Leliana was proof enough of that, wasn't she? Her peaceful life ripped apart by knowing him, by meaning something to him. His jaw clenched tight and he stared hard into those innocent eyes, hating the sharp blades if heartache digging into him.

    So say the word and I'll be running back to find you
    A thousand armies won't stop me, I'll break through


    Reply
    #4

    As amber gaze met the blackness of his she could read him like an open book.  His souls eye was deep, so deep.  The depth of them plagued with years of hurt and turmoil.  Some she was sure he had contributed to but when life was cruel it was only nature to be cruel back.  As the evidence so plainly seen upon his body.  The wounds deep, some fresh and seeping while others had long scarred over.  Only to open again as the plates grew to consume him...

    She had spoken and he listened.  In confusion as he had the first time they met he searched his mind for memories.  Small faint sparks of recognition brought looks of slight ease but as more memories of that meeting surfaced a frustrated look came over him again.  She was sure those of the golden stallion were not memories he cared to remember.  Who was this stallion anyhow?  Maybe it was best not to ask questions you didn't want answers to.  Frankly they mattered little to her.  She did not intend to venture down the old and beaten paths...

    Then there it was.  His words sharp and slightly exhausted.  She heard his warning and her brow furrowed.  A mistake?  Nothing in life was by mistake.  It all had a purpose and her purpose was quite clear.  Wasn't it?  Her own words strengthened, "No.  You can refuse my offer but you cannot say I am mistaken for giving it."  Had their first meeting been coincidence or had the universe spun their paths together on purpose?  She didn't believe in coincidences so surely it had been fate.  So her words were forced onto him as she stood her ground.  Ignoring his request for her to leave.  She wasn't giving up on him as he had so clearly given up on himself...

    AuroraElis

    Not all that Glitters is Gold

    Reply
    #5
    dovev

    Great. She was going to be difficult, wasn’t she?

    ”No. You can refuse my offer but you cannot say I am mistaken for giving it.”

    He frowned again. What? Was she for real? He didn’t have friends, dammit. Or well… There was Luster, come to think of it. She might count as a -well, yeah ok. Luster was a friend. He’d protect her from anything, cared if she was happy, would do what he could to help her. That went for Leliana too, though, but.. Friend? It definitely felt bigger than that. Friend wasn’t enough. And yet was too much. Was that possible? And he didn't even want to think about Diz. Dammit, this was getting confusing. And certainly not helping him figure shit out. God, he was so messed up.

    Whatever. He just didn’t have friends.
    And clearly she was going to have to learn it the hard way.

    He smiled slowly, a familiar darkness spreading through his chest and glittering in his eyes as he stepped forward. She wasn't mistaken, hm? Oh, but I think you are, he purred smoothly. Her scent filled him as he breathed in, stepped in, felt the heat from her body tease at his mouth as he reached toward her cheek. Lingered there, his gaze leisurely tracing along her. So close and yet not touching, focusing so intently on that sensation of warmth barely reaching for him and the soft curves of her face, that melted-chocolatey color topped with the whipped cream of her silky-smooth hair. Delicious.

    He flashed a smile before slowly drawing his mouth to that perfectly soft tissue beside her jaw. Mmm, one of his favorite places. He took a deep breath of self-torture, still holding himself from touching her, from soiling her flawless coat with the blood of his treacherous armor.

    Want to be a friend, do you? He forced himself away from that temptation of her neck, drifted his attention to the hair he’d dye pink if he buried his nose in it, to the graceful slope of her nape, the curve of a bare shoulder. To those pretty wings of hers, a living fairytale. Know how I met my last friend? he asked sweetly, softly, methodically making a slow progression around her, sharp eyes taking in every detail with just enough space between them to keep his ruddy blood off her.

    I took a chunk out of her, ripped her flesh from her body and spilled her blood at my feet. Just.. He paused at her opposite shoulder, at the side of her neck that was naked of her milky hair, and so very slowly, gently pressed his nose to the muscle there. Here. Dark red painted her from around the plate of bone that covered his face like a protective mask, and he teased it around in a swirling little pattern. An artist, was he, see? Diz would appreciate it; she loved the taste of him.

    He trailed an artfully calligraphic smear to her jaw, pinched so softly with his teeth before he pulled away enough to peer into her eyes with a warm smile. Want that, do you? he asked low, sickly sweet.

    Want to be my friend?

    I'm a wanted man, I got blood on my hands
    Do you understand? I'm a wanted man


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    #6

    From the looks of it he had been twisted to the point of madness.  Life bending and breaking him from within.  As he spoke again with a slickness she could tell he was trying to frighten her.  Bend and break her as so many had him.  She was sure he had done it to others as well.  Pushing those who cared away and pulling in close those who poisoned him...

    Standing square and tall for her small frame she kept her position.  Like a serpent he slithered down her side and around.  Toying with the space between their bodies.  Amber eyes narrowed upon him as he slinked about.  He clearly did not know her.  Sure she may look like a fairytale but all fairytales have a story of tragedy.  A life she had escaped when the fairies of Beqanna opened their lands to her.  Gifted her the gown upon her back that hid her past.  The warmth of his breath played with her senses and as he continued his game of cat and mouse he stopped at her other shoulder.  Pressing his muzzle into her neck as he had that first time but this time with different intent.  She waited for him to finish before her voice hissed back, "Do you really think you scare me?! You don't know the life I've lived.  My scars lay bare for the world to see just as yours do.  But I chose a different path.  I chose happiness and kindness over pain and torture.  So do not think for a moment you scare me."

    She had loved children for a reason.  Their naive happiness brought her joy in so many ways.  Maybe cause her own was stripped from her at such a young age.  A past that she wished not to remember.  The scars would always remain as evidence but with the blanket of feathers upon her back at least she did not have to see them anymore.  The fairies were kind to her.  

    A breeze arose from behind her. Ruffling the gold and navy plumage enough to expose large gashes in her hide.  Her stare never left the stallions as he peered into her.  He was quite satisfied with himself wasn't he.  Boasting his accomplishments of torture while taunting her offer of friendship.  But as her eyes peered back into his for that moment, they softened.  She had let go of her past and it no longer haunted her.  She only wished the same was true for the creature beside her.  Maybe one day he would be at peace.  "Yes. I'd still be your friend," her voice kind again.

     

    AuroraElis

    Not all that Glitters is Gold

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    #7
    dovev

    He was cruel and wicked, and in this moment not at all the man she met so long ago. The one that slid in place to protect her the moment danger appeared. She stood so tall and strong under his black attention, so unfazed. He liked that about her, that defiance. Liked, too, the way those bright, golden eyes watched his every move as he made his dark path around her. So bold, so fearless. A strength and a beauty that had his bottomless black eyes glinting with interest.

    "Do you really think you scare me?! You don't know the life I've lived.  My scars lay bare for the world to see just as yours do.  But I chose a different path.  I chose happiness and kindness over pain and torture.  So do not think for a moment you scare me."

    He tsked sweetly, brushed his nose lightly with hers. Not trying to scare you, Beauty. He stared into those bright eyes as he gently kissed the top of her nose, slowly trailed another to the side of her mouth, her soft cheek. Making promises, he whispered. She thought she had made a choice, something like good versus evil, happiness rather than pain. But they were one and the same, walking the same path like everyone else. There was no choice, only specific decisions. Pleasure, pain. Kindness, torture. He could show her. He would teach her. The delicious blend of both.

    Aurora, he murmured against her throat, tasting that sweet scent of hers with a tender kiss. That was her name, wasn’t it? Yes, she’d said so. Aurora, as bright and beautiful as she. His eyes caught on the movement as a breeze swept through her feathers and disturbed her cloak of secrets, revealed wicked scars hiding beneath. He smiled, rubbing his face against her neck. So, she was the broken one between them then, hm? She knew pain already, but someone failed to show her the pleasure. What else does she hide under that pretty gown of hers.

    ”Yes, I’d still be your friend,” she said, softening, her eyes warming to a smooth honey.

    Good, he responded absently, moving to her shoulder. He bent and gently shifted her feathers on her back, looking over the pale scars hiding there. Secrets. He had those too. So brutal, so merciless, so lethal. But secrets. A compassion just as strong to match the darkness in him. A capacity to love like no other. He brushed his mouth along one of her scars, wondering silently what had marked her as theirs, claimed her skin with the permanent brand of violence. As he had claimed his sweet Luster.

    He returned to her again without comment, dissolving the hard glint in his obsidian sharp eyes, letting them match the warmth in hers. Now, maybe he was that same man she’d met. The protective one, putting her life before his as he shielded her. Show me, he said quietly, pressing his forehead lightly to hers, tilting his face to kiss the top of her nose again before pulling away to stare in her eyes.

    Show me the dark in you. And I’ll show you the good in me.

    Its alright, you'll be fine baby, I'm in control
    Take the pain, Take the pleasure. I'm the master of both


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    #8

    In her defiance she could sense his pleasure.  The way in which he gently touched her.  Testing her limits.  Prying at the doors she had sealed her past behind.  Her strong willed nature had caused her problems then and were seeming to repeat itself here.  They had tried to break her.  Bend her.  She was too pretty, it had gone to her head they said.  They must strip her of that and so they did.  Slowly.  Painfully.  Leaving wounds too deep too heal.   Just when one had scarred over another was laid across her golden coat...

    She shielded her gold flecked eyes from him.  Concentrating on slowing her breathing and calming her heart that had begun to race with each touch and each word.  Would he hurt her?  Aurora... Her name upon his lips sent a tingle through her.  Eyes fluttered open as her delicate crown turned slightly away from him as he continued his game.  A gentle touch to her throat and then his interest shifted.  Gold, navy and emerald gown upon her back shifted slightly with the breeze exposing her nightmare.  A feeling of vulnerability consumed her as he brushed aside her feathers.  Examining her past dug deep into her hide.  His muzzle was gentle against the scarred tissue but her ivory tassels twitched with irritation.  Ears pressing tightly against her crown.  Show me...

    He returned his attention to her.  Pressing his crown to hers.  A different softness had come over him now.  Pity maybe? Doubtful.  He didn't seem to be one to express such an emotion.  Empathy?  Surely he understood feeling ugly... Too ugly to be loved.  As he retracted and held her gaze she wondered what he had planned next... The darkness in me... He wanted to see her nightmares now did he...

    Her face lowered as she shied away again.  Taking control over her gown she lifted away the wing that covered her side closest to him.  As the feathers swept across her scars and left them bare to the world she cringed.  Eyes closed she could feel the memories surfacing.  Like a slide show they played.  Each wound received.  The pain and torture as her beauty was ripped apart.  Each scar lay across her frame, tracing along a bone. A shoulder blade. Each rib slashed between the breaks.  Her hip.  A self drawn skeleton of scarred wounds.  They were hideous and so was she...

    A sigh was released as a single tear rolled down the cheek he had so gently kissed.  Still closed she did not want to open her eyes.  She knew the scars were there and she did not care to see them.  Exhausted voice spoke softly, "My darkness is my own and should not be burdened to anyone else."

    AuroraElis

    Not all that Glitters is Gold

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    #9
    dovev

    She shuttered her radiant eyes from him as he set his lips so tenderly against her throat, turning her head away. He noted, too, the subtle quickening of her sweet breath, and in the pulse beating against his mouth. In fear? Or something else?

    But the breeze caught his attention. Or rather, what it revealed hiding beneath her gilded feathers. He touched her gently here too, slowly tracing one of the scars marring her otherwise flawless skin. Her hair flicked in irritation at his intent focus, but he ignored it, moving back to her face as he asked her quietly to show him, share more with him. Show me the dark in you. And I'll show you the good in me.

    Her face lowered as she did, but his eyes never left hers. Even as she shifted a wing to the side, he kept his gaze pinned firmly to her face. Stared still, even as the glaring scars smiled wickedly, noting in his peripheral vision how they traced each bone in her body and reminded him of his own sunken, bone-thin skeleton and the armor that plated him. He was there to witness her cringe, see the shame and hurt shade the glow of her face as she closed her eyes to her past.

    He ached to circle her again, to trace his lips over each one and study every horror done to her. Horrors, like him. As he had done to others. As if he could right all his wrongs by trying to soothe her haunting pain. Could right all the wrongs she'd suffered. But he knew he couldn't. Knew that it would do no good, make no difference. And so, instead, he was there to catch her tear with another soft kiss to her cheek, his breath hot against her damp skin, tasting the salt of her lingering pain.

    "My darkness is my own and should not be burdened to anyone else."

    She sounded so defeated, just then. Hopeless. He brushed his cheek with hers, gliding to her throat again where he inhaled the intoxicating scent of her through slightly parted lips. Is that what you think, he whispered into her skin, leaving another kiss in his wake as he moved further up her neck and pressed his chest to hers. Solid and steady. That this truth could be a burden? That it's a weight you must bear alone?

    The urge to kiss her more was there. He refrained. Nor did he pin her to him in an embrace, but merely stood in a silent offer as he carefully groomed at the base of her mane. He would hold her if she wished. He would kiss her, continue to bathe her in gentle affection, if she wished. But he stopped forcing them on her unbidden. He showed her the good in him, as bargained for. A hint of it, only. Even as he craved more of her.

    It isn't a burden. And you are only alone in it if you choose to be.
    He was strong. She could share the weight.
    If she wished.

    Do you want your freedom, Aurora, he murmured. Do you want to be free of me now.

    Its alright, you'll be fine baby, I'm in control
    Take the pain, Take the pleasure. I'm the master of both


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    #10

    In his prying at the doors she had sealed her past behind, with each soft kiss and gentle touch.  Each one removing a nail that had held them together.  They fell apart one by one and as the memories flooded her mind with the pain once again she came apart.  Unraveling before him as he now pressed his chest into hers.  Much like their first meeting but roles reversed.  She hadn't turned him away as he had pressed his armored skull into her neck that time.  Needing a shoulder to lean on.  As they stood in a familiar fashion it was her suddenly needing a shoulder to lean upon.  Her knees buckling as she suddenly felt exhausted.  The wing she had raised was released then to fall back into place.  Hiding her scars once again from the world.  Delicate crown fell to rest upon his shoulder...

    That this truth could be a burden? That it's a weight you must bear alone? Alone... She was alone.  She had always been alone.  More than anyone had ever known.  She covered her loneliness with a charade of smiles. Broken smiles as those she met had come and gone.  All she ever wanted was a friend.  She offered her friendship quite openly to have it only thrown back into her face. As she leaned into him, her head had raised once again. Her eyes had rested upon his frame.  It's brokenness of bone and scars, blood seeping from the wounds.  They were exactly as she had remembered but maybe a bit more pronounced.  Could it be possible they had grown?  Her velvet gently brushed the plate growing from his shoulder.  It's jagged edges rough against her lips.  Tracing it to it's source from within him.  The blood dried at the wound from which it rose from.  Crimson red was abundant upon his coat, she wondered if it was only his.  Was he really the monster he claimed to be?  Maybe.  She was aware that he could hurt her if he had so chose to.  Something within her settled for the possibility that somewhere inside him he didn't want to.  So she leaned into him as she gently massaged a non-broken spot on his shoulder with her muzzle.  She offered her ear as he spoke.  Wishing she had the powers to soothe his pain.  Soft words were whispered into his ebony coat, "Don't leave me. Not yet." His warmth was comforting and she only hoped her own was to him.  She didn't wish to complicate his life as many others have clearly already done.  Just a moment was all she wanted...
     

    AuroraElis

    Not all that Glitters is Gold

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