"But the dream, the echo, slips from him as quickly as he had found it and as consciousness comes to him (a slap and not the gentle waves of oceanic tides), it dissolves entirely. His muscles relax as the cold claims him again, as the numbness sets in, and when his grey eyes open, there’s nothing but the faint after burn of a dream often trod and never remembered." --Brigade, written by Laura
12-05-2019, 08:58 PM (This post was last modified: 12-05-2019, 09:00 PM by lilliana.)
Nerine smells like freedom.
The wind tugs at her thick, copper mane as Lilliana takes in those first wild sights of the true North - of these untamed cliffs, of all these jagged ledges that demand attention from her blue eyes. Lilli gives it, freely and with open admiration, as her gaze drinks it all in. Taiga and her shadowed woods have nothing to compete with this kingdom; there is nothing to hide here. Nerine is dazzling in the ways that her beloved forest is not - grey cliffs that boast heights and views she could never otherwise see.
Those daring ledges could tempt Lilliana for things she might have never otherwise aspire too. But today she is not here for the ledges or the views.
She is here for several reasons. One of those includes the roan mare to one side of her and the chestnut casts another concerned glance from underneath her dark lashes. There is a furrowed line on her forehead and her smile, an uncomplicated thing and so freely given, finds itself constrained against the borders of this worry that is building in her chest. Brine has not made an easy choice but she had seemed so confident of it in the Field - who was Lilliana to question it? So they, Brine and Lilliana led by the prettily-spotted Eurwen, journey past the Taiga (with Lilli casting a few more uncertain looks towards her home, a few moments where she looks to the forest behind her and something glimmers in those blue eyes as she stares into the penumbra of those woods).
Whatever she thinks and turns over in her mind stays there; they remain her shadows.
A fresh breeze plays with them as it slides by and Lilliana feels it again, that tug towards the North as her attention turns excitedly forward. "How long have you lived in Nerine, Eurwen?" the chestnut asks as the scent of pine and evergreen fall further behind them. "I've never been," Lilli admits somewhat sheepishly as she looks towards the spotted mare. It feels like such a silly thing to admit too and yet so revealing - the Taigan diplomat has only been to Ischia (at least officially) and Hyaline.
And then she turns her attention back to Brine, "There aren't kinder souls in Beqanna than Aten and his mate." Lilli says this in hopes to comfort her, to settle any doubts that might have settled in her mind in their journey north. "I doubt Ruth will have any peace from the brood that he and Lethy sport," and there it is, that easy smile, her familiar teasing. Their brood is something of a trademark for the pair - the two of them are responsible for several of Taiga's younger inhabitants and their laughter has been the ringing assurance in the woods that they are well-loved and adored as all foals should be.
"I'll check in on her to make sure that she has everything she needs," Lilliana tries, a gentle promise she makes. She is no substitute for Brine but Ruth becomes added to the others that Lilli has started to take account for - Smidgen and Tyr.
There is a moment where Lilliana meets the gaze of the mother, hoping to convey that her daughter will be in good hands in Taiga. She hopes she can express this before asking Eurwen as the crimson mare stills, "Eurwen, do you know a mare by the name of @[Neverwhere]?" An inquiring tilt of her head and a small smile hopes to prompt her further, "Or where we might find her?"
the secret of walking on water is knowing where the rocks lie
Nerine smells like home.
The salted winds whip around the mares when they cross the border on the eastern side of the land, as the spotted mare had led them around the Mountain and along the border between Taiga and Hyaline. She might have opted to go straight through the mountainous kingdom had she known about Lilli’s tendency to glance towards her home as if she’d rather not be here, relying on Nerine’s previous alliances with the owners of the lake - however, the border-route was faster than the lake-and-sea route, and she had heard no complaints from Brine.
The chestnut mare asks a question, and in it lies the same innocent assumption that Neverwhere had made before her. That nothing weird had happened to Eurwen in particular, that she had been recruited some time ago and she simply wants to make polite conversation of asking when that was. Lilliana had never heard of her before. Neither had the bald-faced mare.
Instead of feeling offended, Eurwen feels a little sad. Sad that her efforts for the world had cost her her connection to Nerine and her family, and so much more. She pushes the feeling away, instead offering the chestnut a smile. ”All my life. I was born on Icicle Isle, but mother ruled here so we didn’t stay there long. It’s a long story.” One, she thinks, she might tell the red mare some other time. For now, she catches the sheepish smile and nods; she agrees that it is a little weird for Lilliana to never have gone to Nerine, which is supposed to be Taiga’s mother kingdom. Perhaps relations might have been different, since she imagines the conversation between Heartfire and Lepis haven’t been all that smooth.
The topic shifts to Lilliana securing Brine, and Eurwen lets herself be excluded for a moment. She doesn’t know Aten all that well; only by name. However, it seems that the chestnut mare is not done asking questions, and so, the spotted mare looks back to her with another confirming nod. ”She lives here. Where to find her, is another matter altogether.” Depending on Never’s mood, mostly. She would guess on a windy day like this, she would be near the cliffs, but she can’t be entirely sure.
12-17-2019, 11:01 AM (This post was last modified: 12-17-2019, 11:02 AM by Brine.)
Brine
Her journey feels painfully slow. Painful because her heart has grown to weigh a thousand pounds and the never-ending thumping--the constant pressure about to explode from her chest--to serve as a reminder as to what she has left. Slow, because every five minutes the biggest part of her tells her to turn back.
But our little shadow doesn’t, does she?
No, Brine holds true to her newly grown, false sense of confidence. She buries the biggest indicators of what made her decision so utterly horrible, and moves forward under the impression that it had not been a goodbye, but a see you next time.
When I am no longer fucked up.
But she also couldn’t swear, that would be inappropriate to a child, right?
So, to say the least, the beautiful views and contagious energy spilling from Lilliana has nearly no impact on our blue roan who is lost in her own mind-numbing battle. And Eurwen, well, she is quiet and polite and another body to fill space and Brine doesn’t have many complaints at all. In fact, they are tolerable. And coming from a mare who chose the company of her child only because she was forced to give birth, that is saying a lot.
Brine is away, lost in her mind of self doubt and anxiousness. Wondering what Ruth is doing, where she is, if she has made it home safely. Home, how uncanny that only hours ago home had been considered wherever Brine was. And now, well. Now that has changed.
Lilliana speaks, and momentarily Brine feels judgment wash over her. Does she read minds? He skepticism apparent across her face, not having learned how to control her physical expressions and emotions. That was taught in social situations, it was taught through practice. Brine, of course, hasn’t had much practice. Not beyond her little, baby Ruth.
“Thank you,” she finds her ability to show appreciation for the constant generosity Lilliana has shown her, even in previous exchanges. What is it about her? The sadness tugging at the corners of her eyes? Her clear social anxiety? Her suspicious demeanor? The way she casually left her child? Does Lilliana pity her?
At least Eurwen doesn’t hide the fact she came because of Lilliana, and Brine feels irrelevant. She feels as though Eurwen doesn’t have the time or energy to invest in a grieving, child-leaver. And to Brine, she is OK with that. She can live with being irrelevant, she would rather that than be of interest.
Brine shifts her focus back to the chestnut mare, her kind eyes and honest face. The kind of look that makes males swoon at her presence, and females curl into her shadow for protection and guidance. A natural leader, as if hope oozes from her pores. Even Brine could not help but feel slightly better knowing Lilliana had somehow managed to fit Brine into her comforting shadow, too.
And as Eurwen and Lilliana shift gears, speaking of this Neverwhere creature and her whereabouts, Brine focuses on the distant sound of waves crashing against the shore, the soft call of frolicking seagulls, and imagines Ruthless bouncing through foamy salt water.
12-17-2019, 10:00 PM (This post was last modified: 12-17-2019, 10:01 PM by Neverwhere.)
Voices play on the wind and they catch her ears, but are not near enough for her to make out what the words are. Hushed conversations do sometimes happen in Nerine, travelers come to speak with the few residents, with Heartfire, or those just passing through to Icicle Isle. There are few of the former, and fewer of the latter. In truth, the frozen northern isle doesn't attract much attention, iced over for three quarters of the year. The short growing season is a hard sell, even with the fairy lights said to dance and ripple across the sky.
A sight that would be lost on Neverwhere.
A brief spurt of interest in Nerine has died back again to the quiet of before, so the conversation that bounces off the rocks is something of note. She attempts to ignore it at first, unwilling to be drawn out from the sunny crag she has found to warm skin chilled by the first cool winds of Autumn, but something that sounds close to her name refuses to let her drift back to sleep. Her eyes open lazily, reluctantly, and she pauses a moment to scratch her shoulder against the rough rock of the cliff wall rising high above her. The moss darkens her shoulder with tannic water, and for her part, short, glossy hairs remain behind, her summer coat exchanging for the thickness of winter. She will take her time responding to this summoning.
A stretch, a shake - dust and hair shiver off her skin and she is surrounded by a golden aura as the sun catches and glints off fine particles. She snorts loudly, blowing the sleep from her brain and walks with her usual bold step, away from the rocky crevices and deeper into the body of Nerine. The party has come along the eastern edge of the kingdom, a path she is familiar with, tracing the edge of Taiga towards the commonlands. As she gets nearer, the voices become clearer and the wind dilutes their scents less. She recognizes two of them, Lilli and Eurwen, but the third is unknown, and if she wonders why Lilli has come here with a stranger, she does not let it hurry her.
Their shapes come into view at last, and the sight of the trio confirms that she does not know the third member of the party, a thin and gloomy-looking roan that shifts uncomfortably between the chestnut and the pink-spotted mares. She is watching the waves and observing the wildness of Nerine while the other two mares talk, and so it is with her, first, that Neverwhere makes eye contact.
An army of skeletons, indeed.
Pale eyes drift to Eurwen and the silver dapple inclines her head in something of a terse greeting. They are not, perhaps, the best of friends, but she cannot bring herself to dislike the quiet, serious, mare, for all that she does not always appreciate Neverwhere's... unforgiving sense of humor. No such question of closeness exists, however, with Lilli. Her steps continue until she is quite near Lilliana, and the proximity makes her neck arch when she presses her muzzle to the the red mare's own with a warm breath of greeting. This warmth passes, she reverts quickly to her normal coolness, the usual single-ear-back skepticism plain across her scarred face
"This is quite a crowd, Eurwen, are you throwing a party?"
For all that she can see much more than she should, she is, regrettably, not omniscient. Were she, all of this may have so easily avoided. As it is, when Woolf comes, it is certainly not among her many thoughts that his plans may involve removing her from Beqanna.
But then, he had always been one of the more unpredictable of her siblings.
As his magic wraps around her however, she realizes there would be no room for reason here. Though frustration and anger kindle almost immediately, rationality supersedes all those emotions. She could not leave Nerine adrift.
Unsurprisingly perhaps, Heartfire is a great planner of many eventualities. Neverwhere may never have understood why Heartfire took an interest in her, but she had always had her reasons. And though others may struggle to see beyond the brash honesty and sharp edge of tongue, Heartfire had recognized a woman who would not be easily cowed. One who would not fall victim to false tongues or be taken in by overly sweet words. The very things one needed, if one were to survive kingdom politics.
Reaching desperately through the connection she had long ago built between them, she batters her message none too gently against her sight. Not for the first time, she wishes she could use words. As it is, Neverwhere is (hopefully) clever enough to pick the message from her vision. Of Heartfire, disappearing beneath a wave of magic. Of Nerine. Of Neverwhere, alone, before the kingdom.
Whether or not Neverwhere would accept the weight she had just been handed, she cannot know. Regardless, she leaves her a parting gift: her sight, restored in full. Then, within seconds, she is gone, oblivious, wrapped in a cocoon of her own brother’s making.
12-18-2019, 07:05 PM (This post was last modified: 12-18-2019, 07:12 PM by lilliana.)
Lilliana tries to fill all these open Nerinian spaces with words. She tries to soothe and calm, tries to offer comfort to the roan mare beside her. It is something so commonplace for Lilli that it has become second nature, a reaction she no longer recognizes she is doing. This want to make others happy comes as naturally as breathing. It lines every feature of her face as she studies Brine, looking for any sign that she is nervous or troubled or upset by what transpired in the Field.
She tries to fill a beckoning void with kindness and conversation.
The crimson mare also has a curiosity to see Nerine. Lilli has always preferred the northern edge of the Taigan territory and it occurred to her several times how easy it would be to cross that border. She had been so close and yet there had been the issue of the current state of affairs between Nerine and its forest. Things had been peaceful enough but the pressing claim of Loess was common knowledge in Beqanna.
And if Lilliana was entirely honest, the rumors that lingered about the Khaleesi had given her pause too.
So while she seeks to offer what she can to Brine in terms of encouragement, of that hope she tries to illuminate to others, her blue eyes are dancing on the cliff edges and the stonewalls that rise around them. They regard the imperial walls of granite that line the coast ahead of them and green grasses that are caressed by a summer breeze. It seems like wild, untamed territory and the dreamer in her contemplates for a moment what the magic the land of the old Amazons might create.
As Eurwen speaks part of her history, Lilliana's attention turns to the young mare and the Taigan feels her curiosity sparking. "Your mother was a queen of Nerine?" The student finds herself walking with a piece of Nerinian history and finds herself intrigued. An ear remains trained on the spotted mare and Lilliana finds herself hoping that Eurwen might say more. "I'd love to hear it someday," she responds to the comment of long stories. She has no doubt that it is an interesting one.
Her attention returns to Brine and in response to all her trying, the roan mare thanks her. The smile that comes is a tight one. The road that she has chosen to travel, the decision she has made, is a hard one. Lilliana only wants to do what she can to ease her, if there is anything she can do at all. "Truly," she murmurs in a quiet moment between the two women, "If you have need of anything, for yourself or for Ruth, please don't hesitate to ask." The way her voice wraps around these words speaks volumes - if it is something she is able to do, she will.
As the trio follows the eastern path, as if summoned, comes a dappled mare with a knowing step. The expression on Lilliana's face is an especially warm one. The copper woman nearly glows as the other mare approaches. It has been almost a year (too long) and there are many things that the chestnut needs to say to her. Not now, of course. But the first steps in this journey have been taken (and those first ones can be especially hard to take).
As Neverwhere comes closer, Lilli slows and there is a moment where she worries that silver mare will be angry with her. Her trepidation fades as her friend reaches her muzzle towards her and the chestnut mare eagerly returns the gesture, filling the space between them with a burst of warm air. Never. Utterly unchanged and in what has felt like an always-changing world recently, there isn't a word to describe the relief that comes at the sight (and warmth, smell, solidarity) of her.
The moment passes and austere Neverwhere returns. Lilliana feels a grin tug at her features. This somewhat forbidding reserve has long been one of the favorite parts of her friend. Her head tilts playfully as it motions towards Eurwen and Brine, "We thought we'd bring the party to you." The grin hovers at almost a smirk, "I didn't think you'd want to miss out on the fun." Her blue eyes shift to Brine and the other Nerinian mare, moving the conversation towards them so they could address the newest addition to this.. party.
the secret of walking on water is knowing where the rocks lie
Eurwen looks from one to the other. Lots of exchanges take place, but she mostly notices Brine staying out of all of it. Subtle and not-so-subtle expressions appear on the roan mare, and it becomes apparent to the softer-minded Eurwen that Brine was not used to being joked to - and not used to being around others much at all, perhaps.
Perhaps that’s why she made this rash decision, the rose-gleaming mare wonders - studying Brine whenever she doesn’t look. It’s a little impolite, but the roan mare is quite a mystery to the knabstrup hybrid, and Lilliana had certainly been preoccupied as well, so she doesn’t think it was noticed by either. Or if the chestnut had, then she was too polite to react to it. Just like Eurwen is too polite to try and talk to a Brine who doesn’t seem like she wants to talk to anyone at all.
But Lilli knows how to break a silence, it seems, starting several conversations after one another. The spotted mare has a little trouble keeping up with all of it, nodding a promise where she can, but she does notice the little things. Brine lost to them in the moment, Neverwhere appearing as if naming her had meant poking her awake with a sharp stick. Although there is a softening in her gaze when she meets with the Taigan red, and a politeness extended to Eurwen, it was still hidden immediately by a cynical joke.
Eurwen smiles a little, but Lilli beats her to an answer, and so she just adds in another nod and just a few words. ”We need to best Ischia on theirs, after all.” she tilts her head at Neverwhere, though her always-clouded eyes don’t seem to look at her now. Sighing internally - she liked Neverwhere, but they had a ways to go when it came to interaction - she rather turns to Brine. ”I could show you around, if you like? I used to play with the waves and rocks not too far from here.” What she offers is an escape from the suddenly busy meeting, of course - and perhaps a ways to find a story to tell Ruthless later. Nerine has many beautiful spots. Certainly Brine would love to show them to her daughter when she would visit, Eurwen thinks. And maybe Brine wasn’t as skilled a diplomat yet to notice what’s behind the offer, having shown no restrictions in her facial features just before, but Never and Lilli would know. This meeting was to Brine what the meeting in the Field had been to Eurwen, and she really rather not mess up the mare’s first meeting with the kingdom.
It’s probably better, she thinks, to talk to Never and Lilli later, and let them catch up in the moment.
It is both a blessing and a curse than Brine is completely oblivious to her open-booked expressions and futile small worded contributions to the party (a word she is clearly still hung up on). Blessing because had she known her absence of social skills were that indisputable, the mare wouldn’t have made it past the shadowy cover of the forest. A curse, because she truly needed to improve her social skills.
Another mare appears and Brine feels a sudden urge to run, though her legs too frozen in fear to cooperate. Would she say something? What is appropriate to respond to a Queen?
Upon her arrival, Brine feels immediate dismissal and a sudden wash of relief. Neverwhere, they call her, left Brine in a hallway of uncertainty. Is she welcome? Is she not? No one knows. No one cares. But hallelujah she is out of the field.
And a sense of dismissal is better than a definite banishment.
Oh, the small doses of light our shadowy-creature begs to find.
They all exchange pleasantries and Brine casually slips further and further from the group inch by inch. In fact, the blue painted mare nearly made it two feet back when Eurwen called upon her sincerely. And thank goodness, because Brine hadn’t figured out what to do once she had the room to flee.
“That sounds nice,” she emphasizes with enthusiasm and prays no one hears the underlying tone. The tone that would expose her fear of anything adventurous or new. So many things could go wrong, so many ways to die. But, she needs this. Ruth needs this.
“It was a pleasure Lilliana, thank you,” she offers with honest gratitude, something she could not pretend to ignore. And against her inner voice that tells her to not associate with strangers until she has determined they are not a killer, she quickly nods to Neverwhere in effort to acknowledge her existence without crossing an unruly boundary.
For her part, she'd very much prefer nobody bring the party to her, and she begins to say so when a rushing pain in her head makes her stagger. What? So familiar, and yet... Her eyes are unfocused when they turn to Eurwen, the skin around her eyes wrinkled, confused, and in response, the silvered black nods with a grimace of a smile, which is surely not the appropriate response at all. She is barely aware of the roan mare, fearful and backing away, unnamed, unknown, until Eurwen speaks to her - what is she saying? Neverwhere jerks her head back until her jaw presses tightly into her throatlatch and she is, in an instant, somewhere else.
Where?
Heartfire and a stallion she doesn't know, dark as wine. They do not exchange words, not that she can see, but the look of consternation that crosses the Nerinian queen's face is obvious even from this nebulous distance that Neverwhere seems to float in.
"Heartfire--" She tries to step forward, but can't. Or maybe she does, but it brings her no closer to what is unravelling before her. For a moment she doesn't question it, she is here, she is watching as something - what is that? - envelopes mare and stallion, something that looks like clouds, like fog. Something like smoke. Her hair stands on end and she tries again to get closer, feels herself stagger, but is no nearer. She tries to look down at her useless feet, yet cannot, the vision doesn't change. Magic. Anger licks white hot in her chest. What is Heartfire playing at now?
But she isn't playing. The smoke-that-isn't grows thick around the pair, and then disappears in a blink as if it was never there. As if they weren't. Both are gone and it is only Nerine that she sees. All of it, all at once, from the redwood groves of Taiga to the familiar sea clffs, to the heart-shaped lake she has never seen at the frozen tip of Icicle Isle, impossibly clear, dizzying. The scene changes again and her head seems to spin and she lurches to the side, tripping over her own feet, bumping into.. somebody? Her shoulder presses heavily into that of someone she cannot see, and when her vision clears, her heart drops because she sees herself. She sees herself, standing, grimacing, scowling, facing a silent group of horses, many she does not even recognize. There are a few - Eurwen, Lilli, even Eyas and Wolfbane though it twists her gut to see him there. She does not know the others, there are too many, it's too much.
It isn't possible.
And then, three mares, each studying her, and there is nothing but the sound of waves crashing on rock. The roan is thanking Lilliana for something - what is happening? - nodding to her, wide-eyed. She blinks in response but doesn't speak, blinks and shakes her head, unaware of the final gift of vsion - she could always see in Nerine. Her neck is dark with sweat that grows chill in the autumn breeze, and her breath heaves in her chest, but her heart is still in her stomach. Heartfire is gone, and she-- No. No, that couldn't be. She wouldn't.
But of course she could. And would, it's exactly her sort of joke.
01-05-2020, 11:54 PM (This post was last modified: 01-05-2020, 11:56 PM by lilliana.)
something in the wind has learned my name and it keeps telling me that nothing is the same
Neverwhere smiles and something in Lilliana immediately bristles. Of all the reactions, of all the ways she had pictured this reunion playing out, a smile was not one of them.
Her friend is not unkind. Far from it, in fact. The chestnut has a memory of a night by the River, where Lilliana revealed what little she could of the life she had left behind. Neverwhere might scowl and grimace all she like but the chestnut who stands in front of her knows that she is capable of tenderness and compassion. The two of them form an unlikely friendship - Lilli with her easy smiles and her want to see the world a little brighter than it is, who would rather see what could be than rather than what stares so plainly back at her. Neverwhere will tell you the world exactly as it is.
What is staring back at her now though, causes that ready smile to falter and whatever humor she had used to mask her apprehension about being in Nerine, flees her completely. Faultlines break across that china doll mask that she has perfected in the last few months that she has spent on the rocky Taigan coast. That amiable demeanor is immediately replaced with a concerned step and then another, Eurwen and Brine forgotten in the way that Neverwhere no longer seems to see them - like she is staring through them. That unwanted feeling on the back of her neck bristles again (she can't know if its magic or just the unfamiliar expression that Neverwhere wears) and it makes that heart of hers leap towards the Nerinian mare. It's followed by another decisive step forward and concern writes a novel on every plane of her chiseled face.
It's the striking white of Eurwen that gives her pause and Lilliana swallows, trying to reign her emotions in. (They have gotten the best of her once and standing there with her insides writhing in panic, with her heart slamming and demanding its release, she is reminded of that.) The chestnut casts a fleeting glance back to Eurwen. Introductions haven't even been made yet between Neverwhere and Brine. She is failing as a Diplomat here and there is a moment of white panic, that remembers another attempt at introductions and then buries it. She pushes it forcefully from her mind and lets it slip away in an angry gust of salt air that tugs at her thick mane. The smile that emerges is a tight and worried one, not the unfailing and dazzling shield she normally guards herself with. An apology can be found there for Eurwen if she recognizes it. "Enjoy the views," the false Diplomat says.
That apology extends to Brine, too.
In her concern for Neverwhere, she hadn't seen the way that the roan mare has tried to detach herself away from the group. She had been so busy looking ahead that she hadn't thought to look behind her and when her gaze goes from Eurwen to Brine, those regretful cracks emerge again for just a moment. She hopes that she has done right by you, Brine. She sees the space that you have put between yourself and this group and Lilliana grimaces because she recognizes the want to be alone, the need to seek the solace of silence and the comfort of solitude away from the rest of the world. She hopes that whatever it is that you need, you might find it here and when she looks at Eurwen, there is a fair amount of trust that you could.
And then her attention goes back to Neverwhere who stands with sweat staining her neck, eyeing the way it seems to bleed dark colors against her silver coat the longer they stand there. The chestnut cranes her head towards the trail that her friend has come from, "Nev," she says quietly, "I think we're overdue for a walk."
![[Image: Brine-Signature.png]](https://i.ibb.co/0B2DW04/Brine-Signature.png)
