Lilliana tries to fill all these open Nerinian spaces with words. She tries to soothe and calm, tries to offer comfort to the roan mare beside her. It is something so commonplace for Lilli that it has become second nature, a reaction she no longer recognizes she is doing. This want to make others happy comes as naturally as breathing. It lines every feature of her face as she studies Brine, looking for any sign that she is nervous or troubled or upset by what transpired in the Field.

She tries to fill a beckoning void with kindness and conversation.

The crimson mare also has a curiosity to see Nerine. Lilli has always preferred the northern edge of the Taigan territory and it occurred to her several times how easy it would be to cross that border. She had been so close and yet there had been the issue of the current state of affairs between Nerine and its forest. Things had been peaceful enough but the pressing claim of Loess was common knowledge in Beqanna. 

And if Lilliana was entirely honest, the rumors that lingered about the Khaleesi had given her pause too. 

So while she seeks to offer what she can to Brine in terms of encouragement, of that hope she tries to illuminate to others, her blue eyes are dancing on the cliff edges and the stonewalls that rise around them. They regard the imperial walls of granite that line the coast ahead of them and green grasses that are caressed by a summer breeze. It seems like wild, untamed territory and the dreamer in her contemplates for a moment what the magic the land of the old Amazons might create.

As Eurwen speaks part of her history, Lilliana's attention turns to the young mare and the Taigan feels her curiosity sparking. "Your mother was a queen of Nerine?" The student finds herself walking with a piece of Nerinian history and finds herself intrigued. An ear remains trained on the spotted mare and Lilliana finds herself hoping that Eurwen might say more. "I'd love to hear it someday," she responds to the comment of long stories. She has no doubt that it is an interesting one.

Her attention returns to Brine and in response to all her trying, the roan mare thanks her. The smile that comes is a tight one. The road that she has chosen to travel, the decision she has made, is a hard one. Lilliana only wants to do what she can to ease her, if there is anything she can do at all. "Truly," she murmurs in a quiet moment between the two women, "If you have need of anything, for yourself or for Ruth, please don't hesitate to ask." The way her voice wraps around these words speaks volumes - if it is something she is able to do, she will.

As the trio follows the eastern path, as if summoned, comes a dappled mare with a knowing step.  The expression on Lilliana's face is an especially warm one. The copper woman nearly glows as the other mare approaches. It has been almost a year (too long) and there are many things that the chestnut needs to say to her. Not now, of course. But the first steps in this journey have been taken (and those first ones can be especially hard to take).

As Neverwhere comes closer, Lilli slows and there is a moment where she worries that silver mare will be angry with her. Her trepidation fades as her friend reaches her muzzle towards her and the chestnut mare eagerly returns the gesture, filling the space between them with a burst of warm air. Never. Utterly unchanged and in what has felt like an always-changing world recently, there isn't a word to describe the relief that comes at the sight  (and warmth, smell, solidarity) of her.

The moment passes and austere Neverwhere returns. Lilliana feels a grin tug at her features. This somewhat forbidding reserve has long been one of the favorite parts of her friend. Her head tilts playfully as it motions towards Eurwen and Brine, "We thought we'd bring the party to you." The grin hovers at almost a smirk, "I didn't think you'd want to miss out on the fun." Her blue eyes shift to Brine and the other Nerinian mare, moving the conversation towards them so they could address the newest addition to this.. party.

@[Eurwen] @[Brine] @[Neverwhere]

Eurwen

the secret of walking on water
is knowing where the rocks lie

Eurwen looks from one to the other. Lots of exchanges take place, but she mostly notices Brine staying out of all of it. Subtle and not-so-subtle expressions appear on the roan mare, and it becomes apparent to the softer-minded Eurwen that Brine was not used to being joked to - and not used to being around others much at all, perhaps.

Perhaps that’s why she made this rash decision, the rose-gleaming mare wonders - studying Brine whenever she doesn’t look. It’s a little impolite, but the roan mare is quite a mystery to the knabstrup hybrid, and Lilliana had certainly been preoccupied as well, so she doesn’t think it was noticed by either. Or if the chestnut had, then she was too polite to react to it. Just like Eurwen is too polite to try and talk to a Brine who doesn’t seem like she wants to talk to anyone at all.

But Lilli knows how to break a silence, it seems, starting several conversations after one another. The spotted mare has a little trouble keeping up with all of it, nodding a promise where she can, but she does notice the little things. Brine lost to them in the moment, Neverwhere appearing as if naming her had meant poking her awake with a sharp stick. Although there is a softening in her gaze when she meets with the Taigan red, and a politeness extended to Eurwen, it was still hidden immediately by a cynical joke.

Eurwen smiles a little, but Lilli beats her to an answer, and so she just adds in another nod and just a few words. ”We need to best Ischia on theirs, after all.” she tilts her head at Neverwhere, though her always-clouded eyes don’t seem to look at her now. Sighing internally - she liked Neverwhere, but they had a ways to go when it came to interaction - she rather turns to Brine. ”I could show you around, if you like? I used to play with the waves and rocks not too far from here.” What she offers is an escape from the suddenly busy meeting, of course - and perhaps a ways to find a story to tell Ruthless later. Nerine has many beautiful spots. Certainly Brine would love to show them to her daughter when she would visit, Eurwen thinks. And maybe Brine wasn’t as skilled a diplomat yet to notice what’s behind the offer, having shown no restrictions in her facial features just before, but Never and Lilli would know. This meeting was to Brine what the meeting in the Field had been to Eurwen, and she really rather not mess up the mare’s first meeting with the kingdom.

It’s probably better, she thinks, to talk to Never and Lilli later, and let them catch up in the moment.

For her part, she'd very much prefer nobody bring the party to her, and she begins to say so when a rushing pain in her head makes her stagger. What? So familiar, and yet... Her eyes are unfocused when they turn to Eurwen, the skin around her eyes wrinkled, confused, and in response, the silvered black nods with a grimace of a smile, which is surely not the appropriate response at all. She is barely aware of the roan mare, fearful and backing away, unnamed, unknown, until Eurwen speaks to her - what is she saying? Neverwhere jerks her head back until her jaw presses tightly into her throatlatch and she is, in an instant, somewhere else.

Where?

Heartfire and a stallion she doesn't know, dark as wine. They do not exchange words, not that she can see, but the look of consternation that crosses the Nerinian queen's face is obvious even from this nebulous distance that Neverwhere seems to float in.

"Heartfire--" She tries to step forward, but can't. Or maybe she does, but it brings her no closer to what is unravelling before her. For a moment she doesn't question it, she is here, she is watching as something - what is that? - envelopes mare and stallion, something that looks like clouds, like fog. Something like smoke. Her hair stands on end and she tries again to get closer, feels herself stagger, but is no nearer. She tries to look down at her useless feet, yet cannot, the vision doesn't change. Magic. Anger licks white hot in her chest. What is Heartfire playing at now?

But she isn't playing. The smoke-that-isn't grows thick around the pair, and then disappears in a blink as if it was never there. As if they weren't. Both are gone and it is only Nerine that she sees. All of it, all at once, from the redwood groves of Taiga to the familiar sea clffs, to the heart-shaped lake she has never seen at the frozen tip of Icicle Isle, impossibly clear, dizzying. The scene changes again and her head seems to spin and she lurches to the side, tripping over her own feet, bumping into.. somebody? Her shoulder presses heavily into that of someone she cannot see, and when her vision clears, her heart drops because she sees herself. She sees herself, standing, grimacing, scowling, facing a silent group of horses, many she does not even recognize. There are a few - Eurwen, Lilli, even Eyas and Wolfbane though it twists her gut to see him there. She does not know the others, there are too many, it's too much.

It isn't possible.

And then, three mares, each studying her, and there is nothing but the sound of waves crashing on rock. The roan is thanking Lilliana for something - what is happening? - nodding to her, wide-eyed. She blinks in response but doesn't speak, blinks and shakes her head, unaware of the final gift of vsion - she could always see in Nerine. Her neck is dark with sweat that grows chill in the autumn breeze, and her breath heaves in her chest, but her heart is still in her stomach. Heartfire is gone, and she-- No. No, that couldn't be. She wouldn't.

But of course she could. And would, it's exactly her sort of joke.

Damn you, Heartfire.

Neverwhere

...

@[lilliana] @[Heartfire] @[Eurwen] @[Brine]

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RE: visions of dazzling rooms i'll never get let into; eurwen, brine, neverwhere - lilliana - 01-05-2020

something in the wind has learned my name
and it keeps telling me that nothing is the same

Neverwhere smiles and something in Lilliana immediately bristles. Of all the reactions, of all the ways she had pictured this reunion playing out, a smile was not one of them.

Her friend is not unkind. Far from it, in fact. The chestnut has a memory of a night by the River, where Lilliana revealed what little she could of the life she had left behind. Neverwhere might scowl and grimace all she like but the chestnut who stands in front of her knows that she is capable of tenderness and compassion. The two of them form an unlikely friendship - Lilli with her easy smiles and her want to see the world a little brighter than it is, who would rather see what could be than rather than what stares so plainly back at her. Neverwhere will tell you the world exactly as it is.

What is staring back at her now though, causes that ready smile to falter and whatever humor she had used to mask her apprehension about being in Nerine, flees her completely. Faultlines break across that china doll mask that she has perfected in the last few months that she has spent on the rocky Taigan coast. That amiable demeanor is immediately replaced with a concerned step and then another, Eurwen and Brine forgotten in the way that Neverwhere no longer seems to see them - like she is staring through them. That unwanted feeling on the back of her neck bristles again (she can't know if its magic or just the unfamiliar expression that Neverwhere wears) and it makes that heart of hers leap towards the Nerinian mare. It's followed by another decisive step forward and concern writes a novel on every plane of her chiseled face.

It's the striking white of Eurwen that gives her pause and Lilliana swallows, trying to reign her emotions in. (They have gotten the best of her once and standing there with her insides writhing in panic, with her heart slamming and demanding its release, she is reminded of that.) The chestnut casts a fleeting glance back to Eurwen. Introductions haven't even been made yet between Neverwhere and Brine. She is failing as a Diplomat here and there is a moment of white panic, that remembers another attempt at introductions and then buries it. She pushes it forcefully from her mind and lets it slip away in an angry gust of salt air that tugs at her thick mane. The smile that emerges is a tight and worried one, not the unfailing and dazzling shield she normally guards herself with. An apology can be found there for Eurwen if she recognizes it. "Enjoy the views," the false Diplomat says.

That apology extends to Brine, too.

In her concern for Neverwhere, she hadn't seen the way that the roan mare has tried to detach herself away from the group. She had been so busy looking ahead that she hadn't thought to look behind her and when her gaze goes from Eurwen to Brine, those regretful cracks emerge again for just a moment. She hopes that she has done right by you, Brine. She sees the space that you have put between yourself and this group and Lilliana grimaces because she recognizes the want to be alone, the need to seek the solace of silence and the comfort of solitude away from the rest of the world. She hopes that whatever it is that you need, you might find it here and when she looks at Eurwen, there is a fair amount of trust that you could.

And then her attention goes back to Neverwhere who stands with sweat staining her neck, eyeing the way it seems to bleed dark colors against her silver coat the longer they stand there. The chestnut cranes her head towards the trail that her friend has come from, "Nev," she says quietly, "I think we're overdue for a walk."

LILLIANA

Image by Bronze Halo

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