It is the bated breath of winter that waits at the back of her neck.
She should be sleeping but the hours of night have crept along to the hours of early dawn. The shades of indigo blue lighten as the sun rises, still buried beneath Taiga's winter wood. That frigid chill bares it teeth and sends an icy shiver up her spine. All these years later and she can still remember. The hard, frozen sheen of his green eyes (like shards of ice, sparkling with all that malice and promise of disarray) as he had stared at them with the magic of ice and snow pooling menacingly around them.
Cruelty. Chaos. Discord. That gaze had promised.
Destruction. Ruin. Death.
Run, comes the fierce whisper of the flame next to her.
No, comes the stubborn reply of the girl she had been.
Lilliana tries not to think of him; she longs for the day when winter will no longer bring the shadow of fear and the trepidation that he was out there, waiting. It had been years since that bleak day by the river but Lilli will never be able to fully believe that Maverick's heir had succumbed to the rage and fury of a winter storm.
There had been a debt owed to him, he'd said. And then his gaze had fallen on her beloved Elaina - the one he had come to collect.
If there is redemption in winter, Lilliana has never found it.
But still, she tries.
In these early morning hours, she slips away from her little grove of trees. They have become as familiar to her now as old friends - a reassuring presence that sheltered her from the brutal bite of the frostbitten air. (Generations of her kin have dwelled in the lush, tropical climate of an ancient valley. Her blood refuses to grow a true winter coat, refuses to bow to the elements so easily and so she shivers against the icy nip of winter.) The world is pale, variations of gray and bleak daybreak as the sun pushes further in its heavenward ascent past the massive redwoods.
The chestnut mare finds herself heading towards the northern part of the woods. The forest has thinned out here, warning that Nerine isn't so far off. She has no desire for the scenic vistas of ocean and granite cliffs or a waiting reprimand. No, Lilli prefers to be alone with thoughts that are no longer just her own. There are flurries of them, thoughts that scatter just like snowflakes from a coming storm. In the face of a gray morning, they fall now and dampen spots along her crimson coat.
She raises her head to study the clouds, wondering about the intensity of the coming storm. Should she head back to her little grove? An ear flicks backward as an unfamiliar scent rolls in the with the nip in the air. Lilliana turns her head, her blue gaze guardedly searching through the trees for its source and deliberately stating, "It's considered poor manners to lurk."
@[Leilan] here ya go. sorry for the awful starter.
- Year: 236
- Season: Spring
- SWP: None
COTY
Assailant -- Year 226
QOTY
"But the dream, the echo, slips from him as quickly as he had found it and as consciousness comes to him (a slap and not the gentle waves of oceanic tides), it dissolves entirely. His muscles relax as the cold claims him again, as the numbness sets in, and when his grey eyes open, there’s nothing but the faint after burn of a dream often trod and never remembered." --Brigade, written by Laura
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must have been the wind; leilan
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but it's all in the past, love
it's all gone with the wind
Until then I’ll smile and hide the truth
10-29-2019, 02:41 AM
You’re uncontrollable and we are unlovable The colder seasons are his favourites - autumn strikes a chord with its wetness, its crisp morning sunrises and the color-changing leaves. His bay-based coat and vibrant mane and tail fit in perfectly; but it’s winter he’s adapted to. Extreme temperature drops don’t harm him - this, in fact, is what allowed him to withstand Kora’s magic at the time, allowed them to develop a strange understanding of one another. He would help her find her solitude, without needing her to give up her sense of being, of existing, of being useful. In fact her whispers about what happened on the Isle when people had thought just an icy snowdrift had passed them, had been plenty useful as leader of a place that simply wouldn’t bend to anyone’s will. In fact his recent move there brought back all kinds of memories. Good ones and bad ones alike. He tried to hold on to his sense of belonging there, of being respected as at the very least an ally for most who ventured there, without having anything to do with politics. Of course, Beqanna politics still ventured everywhere, but it was a nice thought nonetheless. Moving back ‘home’ from the southern lands now - Loess, the meadow - he wondered if enough people ever visited up there. Winter season was coming, and most would know to stay away from the coldest place in Beqanna. That’s why he ventured south still, even though he was supposed to live in the coldest place. He wasn’t supposed to live his year as a hermit up there as far as he understood it, after all. Taiga lay conveniently in the way if he travelled any further than Nerine, but he knew who rules the place and avoided it like the Plague. So he travelled around, and was now walking along the northern border, east to west, to take the long swim back to the northernmost ice patches. The mare had been downwind, and she called out on it long before he caught hers. He did see farther than he smelled or heard nowadays, he mused. Wondered briefly what it would be like to be a shifter instead, and see like a normal horse again - but it’d be better not to dwell on it, he thinks. The fairy might deem his efforts not enough. And she had been right, in a way. He had let ice build around his heart, in order to protect himself from falling for anyone again, from getting as attached as he always would if he let someone in for real. But he found the task of being helpful not that bad to do - perhaps there was a middle way. To get something, he might as well not just take it - seemed short-sighted in retrospect. He’d done a lot of brooding, as he was prone to do it seemed. But now his icy blue gaze takes up the chestnut mare before him, her form more petite than his in many ways, as he assesses her and her tone. ”It’s also quite rude not to greet a visitor, and to assume someone a lurker rather than a passerby.” is his dry remark. She smells of the Taigan forest, the mist clinging to her, but there’s also a hint of cold sweat, like one would have when woken from a nightmare - or from seeing him lurk in the dark mist, he reminds himself. He must not forget that he inspires fear in some - there’s more painful and bittersweet memories attached to that thought, but he cannot forget it, ever. and I don’t want you to think that I care I never would, I never could again Leilan no. 7 | ice forged in fire  Gave you a crap post in return thank you @[lilliana] Two things I know I can make: pretty kids, and people mad.
 |  Don't. but it's all in the past, love
it's all gone with the wind
Until then I’ll smile and hide the truth
11-03-2019, 06:22 AM
You’re uncontrollable and we are unlovable She might be… easy. Easy to scare, easy to manipulate, easy to reign over. Easy to mingle with other horses, too. He blinks at her as she goes through several thoughts, each more or less scolding herself some more, some extra, after he did. A change of stance. A sigh. Acceptance, no rebellion. Lacks a certain spark in the first instance they meet. Prey animal. The conclusion is instantly drawn. It’s nothing new, nothing she should be ashamed of: lots of horses have this instinct. Mares more easily, as long as they are alone and not with someone they need to protect. The icedrake-male had been with them so long, he knew exactly what signs to look for. Nerine had been full of strong women - but mostly in the way of protecting others, not so much themselves. Had they perhaps evolved that way, he wonders. Group protection. Herds. But he had been changed and challenged over and over again. Finding himself had not been easy; in the end he’d given up knowing that some events would trigger different emotions and even more different reactions. So, it was a way of existing that not many horses could handle. Then again he wasn’t fully a horse anymore. A predator. As she speaks up, apologizing, he just looks at her blankly, acknowledging that she spoke with a minor nod. Her smile is a little weak, but at least she tries, he supposes. Then asks a few questions. The first one is easy. ”Depends on the length of this meeting.” A twinkle in his colourchanging eye reveals the green tint to be something humorous, although not all pick up on it the first time they see it. He’s impressive. She’s impressed. Not with beauty, but with the potential danger; iced-over scales, gleaming teeth and eyes, and that in the twilight of the near-dawn. He stands as they both look eachother over, yet tilts his head at her questions about Hyaline. ”Left it just three days ago.” Was that all it took to visit Loess and the meadow? It sounds about right, anyway. ”What’s with Hyaline? You live here in the Taiga, obviously.” he counters. and I don’t want you to think that I care I never would, I never could again Leilan no. 7 | ice forged in fire @[lilliana] Two things I know I can make: pretty kids, and people mad.
| He deems her easy? but it's all in the past, love
it's all gone with the wind
Until then I’ll smile and hide the truth
You’re uncontrollable and we are unlovable She seems perceptive to humor - but then, he’d already concluded that she was easygoing. He wonders if it means she’ll sway this way and that, to please another. Please a leader, a lover, or just to keep her friends. So different from himself; it seems he caused strife whenever he overstayed his welcome. Especially when it came to those that he found weren’t on the same level of humor as he. Lepis comes to mind, but he’d rather not think too much of her lest she appears right before him, and take all the fun out of this meeting. His tail swishes at that thought, since it coincides with the reddish mare’s question. A quick shake of his head follows. ”Not really. Taiga’s Comtesse and I don’t mix. I really don’t know how Bane survived this long.” He shakes his head, looking at the mare for a reaction. Surely she knows them, or at least knows of them. ”I’m Leilan. Don’t tell her I visited, I suppose. I’m on my way to the Isle, and I did my best not to accidentally meet her.” He yawns lazily indicating he didn’t want to try too hard, teeth glistening in the low light, then shakes his mane. A grin follows when Lilliana asks him what gave it away, but he doesn’t comment on the rhetorical question. She seems rather interested in Hyaline. He peers at her when she gets a little too excited and interested, then tilts his head at the word cousin. He has cousins all over Beqanna and never kept track of them (because they never cared for him enough to come look either, mostly; not even when he was in Nerine for long enough to be found, on Icicle Isle loud enough to be heard). But Lilliana must have more of a bond with her cousin. Elaina. He scrutinizes her, then shakes his head in dismissal. He’d seen her, like he saw everyone in Hyaline who passed through, even if they didn’t notice him as much. Perks of sitting in a high place and having dragon vision. Actually… perhaps this mare had visited Hyaline once or twice too. He hesitates a moment, could he mess with her a little - but she looks too desperate to think it funny. ”She went to see her grandmother a while ago. Didn’t she tell you she fell ill?” She had, after all, told Kensa why she left. Odd that she hadn’t found the time to go to her cousin if they were as close as he suspected. A thought surfaces, and he tilts his head at the chestnut mare with a suspicion and an emerald gleam in his otherwise blue eyes. ”Don’t tell me you were occupied or something.” To not be found… many a horse who didn’t want to be found was looking for a little privacy… for two. and I don’t want you to think that I care I never would, I never could again Leilan no. 7 | ice forged in fire @[lilliana] overly perceptive, or good at guessing, idk, I can take it out if you want. I guess his mind is a bit of a pervert, but he obvs doesn’t know who she would be with - feel free to have her think whatever (: Two things I know I can make: pretty kids, and people mad.
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There is a look that passes from Lilliana to Leilan that says if asked, she will certainly mention the stallion's presence in Taiga if prompted. And there is a part of the chestnut that doubts Leilan's presence has gone unnoticed. There doesn't seem to be much that does.
And Leilan, she decides, seems like the type that hardly goes unnoticed anywhere. All of that is forgotten with his connection to Hyaline. With Elaina. He tilts his head at her like he might ask a question or perhaps he wants her to elaborate on that word. Cousin is a broad term, one that can't even begin to encompass her relationship with Elaina because she has always been everything to Lilli. Cousin is perhaps the loosest, most obscure explanation that the chestnut can give. But then Lilliana has never been good at giving the things closest to her away. Whatever restraint had kept her in place is gone now and the expression that stares up at Leilan is one that is transparent: worry. She has been terrified for Elaina. She has been worried that something has happened and if it had.. how would she have any way of knowing? The pair had grown up together with a threat looming over her lovely cousin's golden head and that old fear had resurrected itself the moment that Lilliana had found Elaina's scent stale and not a shadow of her in Hyaline. There is relief in what Leilan tells her - so much of it. It washes through her in a flood of emotion. She has gone to Windskeep. To Aesop. That thought settles into Lilliana's soul like the silent falling snow. She has gone. She is safe. (She didn't say goodbye.) It is the last link to her old life, broken. The shards of it splinter against her ribs, run jagged along her heart, shred her of the last vestiges of who she had once been. The chestnut mare blinks at everything Leilan tells her and blinks again when asks if Elaina had told her. The fact that she hadn't is something concerning but if she is in Windskeep, she is safe and Lilliana reassures herself that's all that matters. There is thought as she tilts her head to him that wonders if he intends to be cruel? He can't know what a blow those words cause, she decides. Or maybe he does - Lilliana decides to give him the benefit of the doubt. "No," she says carefully. And there is a part of her that deems it fair - she had done the exact same thing when she left Beyond. There had been no farewell then either - just a message that Lilliana had hoped Elaina would find what she was looking for. "But thank you for telling me." Whatever laughter before has dimmed and instead, Lilliana feels Beqanna looming again. It feels impossibly big and empty, devoid of that one golden ray that had let Lilli know she wasn't truly alone. And then Leilan tilts his head, an emerald gleam in his otherwise blue eyes. If he seeks to pull any further emotions from the chestnut mare, Lilliana has never been good at giving the things closest to her away. The small smile quirks into a ready grin while the blue of her eyes remains as warm as a December sky, "Somebody has to keep all these trees in line." @[Leilan] but it's all in the past, love
it's all gone with the wind
Until then I’ll smile and hide the truth
11-10-2019, 01:55 PM
You’re uncontrollable and we are unlovable Leilan's not too concerned with Lilliana's disapproving look on his remark - it wouldn't bother him if Bane knew, if Celine knew, or Pteron - all except Lepis might know and there would be not a single problem in the world. Heck, even Aten didn't mind him, if the guy was still around. He hadn't heard of the man moving elsewhere after his being... unseated; so he might be more loyal to the Taiga than Lepis could ever have anticipated. But that's not what his remark is about. There's a good enough chance that the comtesse will think Lilliana some sort of threat, if she associates with him for too long. - she has a knack for thinking up ghosts that didn't exist prior, he thinks. Some of them even come to life. "Don't say I didn't warn you." is the look she gets in return. Lilli becomes more distant when he jabs about Elaina not visiting. He knew the mare had been in a hurry when she left, simply from the little time she spent to tell Kensa, and then the speed with which she did leave. He'd never gotten to know her well, so naturally he had not been on her visiting list. Lilli might have been... if she was easy to be found at the time. He shakes his head at her thank-you. "Thanks for asking, I suppose." It means she isn't as scared of him as she thinks (yes, that's right) and that she doesn't think him a threat to her homeland either. Whether or not he could be, he decides is a subject he won't touch when she utters a little joke at his prompting. A toothy grin follows, an amused look on his face. "I hear Taiga is quite stubborn." he agrees, as if it's about the trees and not it's residents. "So how does this tree-herding work? My usual habitats don't sport many, but it sounds like a skill that would come in handy." he muses, tilting his head at her with a small smile. and I don’t want you to think that I care I never would, I never could again Leilan no. 7 | ice forged in fire @[lilliana] Two things I know I can make: pretty kids, and people mad.
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She is trying - and struggling - to keep a countenance that shows this news that Leilan shares doesn't topple her world. She is trying to hide that there is a veritable mountain that has crumbled in her chest and it has turned into a rockslide. It buries her heart beneath a cavern of emotions - loss, anguish, loneliness. That too bright heart of hers dims against the weight of the knowledge he has given her. It buries itself beneath the rubble of a life that once was and Lilliana takes, bears, this knowledge in silence.
For an agonizing moment, she thinks it might be easier to let it remain among the devastation that settles. It might be easier to just let everything break. It is the memory of the way venom could curve in a small. It is the realization that something, someone, so beautiful could wear a face of holiness and intend to bring chaos and destruction down on them for the delight of moments like this one. The evils and antagonists of her bloodline are not here; but they would have loved this moment, this she knows. They would have loved the way her blue eyes hovered at the edge of heartbreak, the suffering, that promises to be only a heartbeat away, that would come if only she would let it. Lilliana draws herself in. There is nothing to wrap her mortal skin in - there are no scales or wings or armor to protect herself with. It is only a chestnut coat with flecked with gold, a reminder of where she came from, of what she once belonged too. It would be so easy to remain underneath the burden of that loss. It would be so easy to let that break and define her like so many other things have. But Elaina, as she has always been to Lilliana, serves as a catalyst. In a moment of darkness, she serves as a beacon and when the chestnut mare finally sees Leilan again, when the world comes together again, there is a gleam that wasn't there before. Don't be this. He shakes his head at her thank you and the younger mare studies him. Her head tilts slightly to one side and Lilliana wonders if there was a reason that Leilan smelled of so many different places. Wanderlust has never been a language she has known - she finds herself bound to the Taiga for several reasons and so she wonders against the heaviness of her mind if there is a reason that he is taking himself to the North. There is a firm set of determination that dances across her crimson features as she stares up to the stallion, "Truly, thank you. I would have kept looking for her if..," if she hadn't known. She would have never stopped. For that and the knowledge that Elaina is safe, the determined line of her brow shifts and Lilli's face softens in gratitude for this knowledge. The smile that does touch the edges of her dark mouth might be a modest one in comparison to what it normally is but the meaning remains: thankful. He gives her a toothy smile in reply and makes a comment about the trees that Lilliana assumes isn't about those ancient Redwoods at all. There might be a joke she could banter in reply but the memory of teasing about plagues and wars echoes against her crimson-tipped ears. Lilli isn't usually one for prophecies or revelations but a place that has survived Carnage, fires and floods doesn't seem to be the setting to test fates - especially given the current perilous position that Taiga finds itself in between Nerine and Loess. There is an angle to her head as she tilts it a little more, the expression on her face becoming intent as if she is trying to determine something about this stranger on the northern border. There are certainly questions she could ask - and that he could ask her - but perhaps Lilliana recognizes something of herself in him, an understanding of the humor that they both seem to use and the way they do. "How's your vision?" she inquires with a playful tone, "Blink too long and these trees will get away from you." @[Leilan] but it's all in the past, love
it's all gone with the wind
Until then I’ll smile and hide the truth
11-19-2019, 03:04 AM
You’re uncontrollable and we are unlovable There’s something about the way she says thank you that makes him feel a little self-conscious - he really hadn’t thought much of it, of telling her about the way Elaina left. His only conclusion can be that they really cared deeply about one another, or at least Lilli did about her friend, cousin she said. Still, he learns a great deal in that one moment. How his small actions might affect others more greatly than one thinks. That saving a life or helping someone find their way, and even little bits of information like this, could have results far beyond anyone’s vision. That the way anyone feels about another is affected by so many tiny things. Perhaps he could now become a wise old hermit, he thinks to himself - but he knows that even with the little help he could give anyone, he couldn’t do it in any serious way. Besides, he will get his wandering itch sooner or later. Therefore, he doesn’t think much of the idea, discarding it. In the journey of finding himself again, he just made a huge step in a direction he didn’t know would take him home, before. All of that passes in a moment - it’s a good thing she doesn’t mind-read, he thinks. Instead, he cocks his head at her when she asks about his vision, and outs a laugh before she is actually finishing her second sentence. ”Oh, far more than excellent I’d say. Only my niece’s surpasses it, I think.” he grins at her, but realizes the inside joke is probably lost to her in the moment, so he explains, switching to heat vision which alters his eye colour drastically: ice blue with perhaps a green teint for the joke, to molten orange - a dragon’s color, or a demon’s perhaps in some worlds - and back to icy aqua blue. ”I’ll find whatever sheep you lost, but Heartfire would probably do it without moving a muscle.” and I don’t want you to think that I care I never would, I never could again Leilan no. 7 | ice forged in fire @[Lilliana] Two things I know I can make: pretty kids, and people mad.
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