"But the dream, the echo, slips from him as quickly as he had found it and as consciousness comes to him (a slap and not the gentle waves of oceanic tides), it dissolves entirely. His muscles relax as the cold claims him again, as the numbness sets in, and when his grey eyes open, there’s nothing but the faint after burn of a dream often trod and never remembered." --Brigade, written by Laura
11-22-2020, 09:42 AM (This post was last modified: 11-22-2020, 06:15 PM by Yanhua.)
I got extra feelings
Today was a day to celebrate, Yanhua thought as he woke to the rambunctious sound of his children. He returned from a very brief overnight stay in Hyaline only a day ago, and spent the following time making his way north again until he’d been reunited with Amarine to share the news. His childhood friend-turned-mate had no love for the former Pangean inhabitants, so her surprise and eventual astonishment at Yanhua’s story of their rebirth was expected. What, she wondered, could this mean for them? Yanhua had then told her, and shared with her all manner of ideas and thoughts he’d voiced at the gathering, along with the rejection that came from more than a few of the horses who’d (doubtless) had tried to raze Taiga and Nerine to the ground.
Together, they agreed it was time Lilliana be cued into the details as well.
Letting Amarine take point, the little family of four took off into the woods in search of one leader who remained. Yanhua had no idea that Lethy had returned, though he’d always held out hope she would, so he sent out echos - faint memories of Reynard and Cheri’s birth - aimed to connect with any of his remaining half-siblings or their shared mother. Lilliana would know it was him, and his siblings would run to her if they saw anything resembling mother’s magic. Privately, Yanhua hoped they would be with Lilliana and not their father; he longed for their expanding family unit to be gathered together as one large group, since such instances were rare. Publicly he kept a loving eye on his own children to keep them from falling behind, but found himself often trying to keep up. Cheri was everywhere and then back again, and Reynard seemed to disappear half the time - he blended into the woods so naturally, like a baby faun.
Yanhua’s love for them grew every day, and he feared it would always be like this. Never had he understood his mother more; every time one of them stepped too far away, or tripped on accident, his heart fluttered in his chest until Yan was sure that the golden star painted there was jumping off his skin. He was sure that at any second, Amarine would turn around and snap at him for being so jumpy.
He shot a sheepish look at the back of her head.
“She’s going to love them, but I have a feeling we’ll take my mother by surprise for once.” Yan chuckled deeply, talking about the two little ones.
Having spoken of the devil, Yanhua paused; something gave him reason to. His horned head rose and both ears flicked ahead to listen out for what he could only guess was premonition. Mother? He wondered to himself.
11-26-2020, 02:38 PM (This post was last modified: 11-26-2020, 02:41 PM by lilliana.)
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LILLIANA
It was Nashua who was her boisterous boy. It was the striped pegasus who came tumbling into the world with his small wings flared and wide, like he was already daring the sky above them. It was Nashua who never encountered strangers; it was her eldest son that the ability to make friends wherever he landed and was able to thaw out the iciest of personalities with his springtime smile.
It was @[Yanhua] who was her quiet boy. It was the horned colt who was quicker to stand than his elder brother, taking the time and having the patience to learn how to untangle his limbs while his brother had been born ready to leap headlong into their existence. It was Yan who had been the more reserved of the pair and the more cautious, holding back where Nashua was always rushing forward. It was the star-marked child that kept company with the quiet. It was the younger twin that shared her familial blue eyes: a trait passed from Carwen to Valerio to Lilliana and then finally, Yanhua.
Maybe it was because she sometimes caught glimpses of herself - of her father - peering out from behind Yan's azure-blue gaze that made her worry so much for him.
That worry lingers in the back of her mind along with others: for Nashua who would shelter the whole world beneath his wings if he could. For Aela, who was where? For Oren and Roselin, in trying to keep pace with every question the bay roan plied her with and in trying to teach her youngest only daughter to find bravery in her steps.
She worries for Neverwhere and Leilan; she worries for Warden. And when she thinks of Brazen, her blue eyes flick towards her youngest, newly-orphaned Reave. It's with him that she reminds Oren and Rosey to be, "Gentle."
The yearlings love to play with their new sibling. Rosey is humming to herself, looking over her shoulder as she and Oren create the newest game for the flaxen colt. The morning sun glinted off Oren's spikes and his gold-blazed face shone like the sun. His silver-black sister was shaking her head at whatever he was proposing with a small frown. Suddenly, she stopped and turned her head to stare out through the forest. Snorting softly when nothing revealed itself, Roselin looked back to her mother before glancing adoringly at Reave again.
Whatever it had been, Lilliana had felt it as well. She hated to leave them - especially as Reave folded his long legs and tucked himself neatly into a bed of meadowgrass for a nap - but the echo came clear across her mind, tugging on her heart as the moon must pull upon the tides. Yanhua. Hesitantly, she tells the pair: "Stay nearby and watch your brother." Knowing it would be difficult for them to stay behind, she offers: "And we'll take a trip to Tephra when I return."
Thankfully, it doesn't take her long to find the little family. Her blue eyes widen momentarily - trying to absorb the shock that she was now a grandmother - and then she smiles.
"Two?" she says softly, looking between their parents. (And some part of her aches but she keeps the memories of Brazen's death locked away; the balance of Magic sways and releases a few of Nash and Yan when they had been small, of how Kagerus had dreamed them, of bejeweled @[Amarine] nestled alongside dappled and determined Neverwhere, before - )
No. She forces (steels) herself to think and wills the waves to come crashing back, not allowing herself to travel down a path that never leads her anywhere but to anguish.
Lilliana lifts her head and exhales. She takes in the quartet and her gaze drops to her grandchildren, already enamored with them. She can hardly keep her eyes off them, even as she murmurs, "Any other surprises?"
11-29-2020, 03:26 PM (This post was last modified: 11-29-2020, 03:26 PM by Amarine.)
Tornados from a butterfly's wing
Existing in Taiga was not so very different from existing in Nerine. The landscape was markedly different, true, but the faces that called the redwoods home weren't. Nash and Yan had been fixtures in her childhood, her first greeters when Nev had brought her home from the den. Extentions of her cobbled together family tree, even before the relationship between her and Yan had bloomed into its current state.
Their mother was another piece of that puzzle, and Ama smiled warmly as the gilded mare came into view. She sent a rainbowed sunburst; Happiness distilled and concentrated that would echo in the minds of her family. The foals, their minds unmolded and easily impressed on, giggled at the shining sensation as it tickled their psyches.
The butterfly mare beamed at the pair as the they circled back to be seen by their granddam. She wanted dearly to introduce them to Neverwhere as well, but Lilliana had proven the easier mare to track down.
Ama's velventeen face flickered a moment. She'd felt something out of key with the rest of their little reunion. Some shadow that lingered beneath Lilli's demure greeting. It was tucked away as soon as she noticed it though, and she saw no reason to pursue it. Not when they had such pleasant tidings.
"Aunt Lilli," she said, reaching forward to pass her nose close by the older woman's. Not quite to touch. "Yes, two and they're wonderful." Her own eyes couldn't stay off the pair for long. Partly out of adoration, but also with a healthy need to know where they were at all times. She could feel already their tiny emotional signatures when they were close by. Little beams of gold and green that shone and danced when the children were happy. They were very usually happy.
She pressed her side lightly against Yan's, his steady energy tempering to her own mutable nature. It was a hard trick to learn how to feel the emotions of others without holding them as her own. To recognize them, and simply allow them to pass through. The first time the twins had felt hunger and had grown upset about it, she herself had begun to cry. It had taken longer than she'd like to admit to realize why.
Two foals, as if this were an uncommon thing in Beqanna. Maybe once upon a time it had been, but Yanhua was a twin himself and had come to meet other twins as well in his short life. It seemed, more often than not, that twins were common among mares here. "Yes, two" Amarine replied, too wonderful and too perfect like he and his brother had been in his mother’s eyes. Yanhua doesn’t miss the echo - how could he? Lilliana had gifted him this among other things: his eyes, his steadfast nature and desire to build a family, but above all else she’d given him the sense to pick his battles. This one in particular he lets go of. Soon enough it’s replaced by the strong rainbow of happiness Amarine has crafted for them all, and that’s good enough for Yanhua.
@[lilliana] bears the brunt of sadness like another marking on her skin. She and her son are all too familiar with it, as a farmer tending his crops expects the seasons, plans for them, yet does not believe himself incapable of navigating their unexpected natures. His mother’s sorrow is the winter’s chill to this summer day, and Yanhua watches it come and go without so much as a blink. This storm will weather as they always do, and he will be here to help her through it should Lilliana ask.
He does, however, lower his head to butt Reynard forward with a gentle shove. Though Cheri is bold and in love with life, her footsteps always seem to take the same shape as her twins. Where her brother goes she follows, and Yanhua intends for his son to lead the way when it comes to meeting their granddam for the first time.
"Reynard and Cheri, meet your grandmother - Lilliana." He introduces them.
Proud father that he is, Yan smiles and rises again, adjusting his balance to support Amarine when the hard surface of her bejeweled skin nudges into his own smooth, chestnut coat. He doesn’t mind the pressure one bit, understanding her needs and absorbing them into his thoughts as quick images, short little bursts of echoes that keep them linked without expending their energy on speech. As for Lilliana’s other inquiry about surprises, Yan grins broader and answers her.
“It’s been a busy year.” The horned stallion explained briefly. Borderline and Amarine having his children, Nashua come to visit, his unexpected adventure to Pangea and back - which reminds him. “I’ve been traveling more often, and I’ve seen some… things that have given me inspiration. Well, given us some inspiration.” Yanhua paused, tilting his eye toward Ama with a knowing wink.
“I can go into detail later, but first I - we - would like to hear your thoughts about making some ‘adjustments’ to Taiga. Amarine and I would like to visit the mountain, to ask the Fey for new flora and fauna here.” Yanhua beamed, feeling the full effect of Amarine’s happiness. They didn’t want Taiga to disappear - Yan had witnessed the full effect of that request in Pangea - but they did desire a way to make this place unique. For nearly half a century or more now the redwoods had kept their ghosts; it was a place of mysticism and quiet wonder. He and Amarine wanted only to expand upon that, with his mother’s blessing, of course.
12-07-2020, 04:22 PM (This post was last modified: 12-07-2020, 04:31 PM by lilliana.)
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LILLIANA
Has someone tried to steal your heart yet? Elena had teased her one summer night in Hyaline. Lilli had laughed and tugged at the fine cornsilk of her cousin's mane, a playful rebuttal to the question she asked. It was an old game between them, a foolish banter that they had done during their days in Murmuring Rivers and Culloden and Paraiso.
One that when it resumed beneath the shadow of Hyalean mountains, the pair was happy to wrap themselves in the familiarity of.
(It was also far easier to be with her cousin than to dwell beneath the Taigan canopy where the presence of a pair of olive-green eyes lingered in the back of her mind; it had been far easier to go to Hyaline and slip into the warm embrace of Elena instead.)
As the years had gone on, she had wondered about that question. In the beginning, it seemed ludicrous that hearts could be stolen. Lilliana had grown up loving her family. They had always been apart of her and the thought that someone could just.. take that love away seemed impossible. It wasn't until Nashua and Yanhua had been born that she (thought) finally understood.
Her love for her children had been swift and quick and the easiest surrender of her life; if there was ever theft of her heart, it had been them. Glancing down at her grandchildren, it happens again. Lilliana yields to the surge of love already wanting to pull her closer to them but their grandmother stands still, allowing the foals to make their own choices in how close they wished to come. The chestnut lowers her head in hopes that they might come forward before glancing up to Yanhua and @[Amarine] when her son mentions that they have ideas for Taiga.
They. It takes her a moment to process the word but she blinks and tilts her head, hoping that the young stallion might elaborate more on the 'adjustments' for their home. There is a shadow that flickers across her slender face at the mention of the Mountain (Lilliana still hasn't forgiven it for the last command it gave; part of her has always resented at being told that it has to be this or that). She glances briefly to Ama to see if the bejeweled mare has something to add.
"What kind of flora and fauna?" she asks, peering back up to @[Yanhua] from beneath her curling forelock. "So long as you're not looking to remake Taiga into something it's not," but they all know it's not really how the Northern Forest looks that matters. (The secret they know is how these woods feel.) Lilliana has learned that the Pangeans could come back to raze it, that it could be cursed back into the ocean again and so long as the little family before her remains intact, nothing else matters. They could dismantle Nerine boulder by boulder, uproot Taiga tree by tree so long as the family before her had somewhere to go, could stay together. "So long as your both careful," she murmurs at the end, revealing her worry where it concerns Magic.
She looks down at Reynard and Cheri again, her expression softening to the twins and their antics. Lilliana wants a Taiga that stands for something, that is strong enough to still be here when they are grown and have children of their own.
"I'm afraid my adjustments aren't quite so grand," Lilliana finally says with a rueful smile to the pair. "As soon as Reave is old enough to make the journey, I plan on venturing to Tephra to formalize an alliance there. I'd like to extend something more formal to Ischia as well," she thinks out loud. "My grand plan was a hope to broach some kind of agreement with Islandres." If the West could provide a united front with the North, then perhaps Leilan's kingdom might enjoy the continued peace.
12-09-2020, 06:37 PM (This post was last modified: 12-09-2020, 06:38 PM by Amarine.)
Tornados from a butterfly's wing
Feeling the pure Joy illuminate Lilliana warmed Ama from the inside out. She wouldn't have known otherwise though that the copper mare felt so powerfully about the twins. She had frozen in place on seeing them, cautious as a prairie dog peeking out of it's tunnel. The butterfly mare smiled softly, a pulse of Reassurance touching them all gently.
Reynard smiled back at his mother, a babyish echo of the same feeling bouncing back to her. "Gramma?" He asked, the question directed at Yanhua.
"Gramma," he decided without waiting for an answer, confident as a colt could be.
"Hi, Gramma!" The chocolate dark boy danced on nimble feet to greet the blue eyed woman, ears that had never stood up straight swaying at the sides of his face. The silky bottle brush of his tail wagged like an eager puppy's as he nuzzled the woman's chest in a sweet kiss, before electric energy took him dancing away again.
Ama watched the interaction, amused and soft-hearted. This was what family gave, she realized. Love, in its sweetest, purest forms. It's was enough to bring a lump to her throat.
Coughing lightly, she smiled, a nod of agreement when Yan commented on their other reason for making the visit. "Yes. Nothing absurd, or very drastic, I don't think. Really..." She paused thoughtfully, gaze distant as she looked not at what was, but at what could be. "What we had in mind was more to make visible what Taiga really means." The deep rooted connection the land had to feelings of peace, consciousness. And maybe just a touch of the fanciful.
It was a pretty idea. One she wasn't even sure was realistic, but Yan was convinced that it could be done. She was game to try. Why not? What was stopping them from growing their home and building it into something miraculous? A lot, if you were being realistic. So she was choosing not to be, and waited to see if that changed things.
Her jewel-scattered coat sparkled in the forest floor light as she moved slightly. Shifted her weight as Lilli spoke her own plans. "If you need help, I'm sure Cheri and Reynard wouldn't mind a playmate for a few days." She offered, the unspoken subtext being that she was sure Lilli would like a few days off as well. She'd been a mother only a short time, and already knew that it was an all consuming job.
In an instant, Yanhua can picture all the times this has happened before - without the use of his echoes to help. He can imagine the first touch between family members as they stretch back through the years; @[Lilliana] to her father Valerio, who Yanhua was told he reminded her of so often, Valerio to his father, and so on. He can even imagine how it might’ve been for Wolfbane his father, if he tried hard enough. Apparently, (according to Nash) there’d been a time when the blue-striped pegasus had been a household name, a beloved icon. The type of father children would want to have, and not a living nightmare. During that time it must’ve been the same type of meetings for his lineage as well: going back through ages on all sides, connected to one another like thin tendrils of a branch that hold together so many thousands of leaves.
Yan sighed watching his children graft new branches onto their grandmother, and in that moment he was wholly at peace with himself and the world. He would very much like for that exact instant to be suspended indefinitely, knowing that at some point - sooner, rather than later - his children would be too old for things like stories in the dark by the light of his glowing mane, or time to meditate peacefully with himself and @[Amarine] so they could sort out their feelings. Much too soon they would be out in the world on their own, and it made him look up at Lilliana with an ache that pressed right up against the golden star covering his chest; the one that matched her burning flame.
“We will be.” He promised her, not so long after she’d requested them to be safe. In his eyes lingered a promise unspoken.
Considering Tephra and the rest, he smiled. There was something boyish, something charming and timeless in the way his mouth could only half-tilt, as if it weren’t settled on the idea of being truthful or not in its intentions. The look was a rare one, but it suited him. “I’d love to spend more time with Rosey and Oren. She’s a little gardener and he’ll drive me crazy, I’m sure of it - knowing his father as I do.” Yanhua flicked his ears instead of winking again. He’d no notion of the newest addition, Reave, but if he had Yan would’ve welcomed the company all the same. “I’d wish you luck but I know how you are, mother. The west will be charmed into saying yes before they even think of saying no.” He rumbled out a laugh.
Now that Ama had shifted away again, Yanhua was free to move forward and envelop his dam into a tight hug. He was gentle; the horns sprouting up from his head gave a horse more reason to be self-aware than they ought to be, and for the first time in a long time Yanhua relished in the smell of her familiarity and the warmth of her skin as he draped his neck over her own.
“I have something for you.” He whispered, warning her for what he was about to do, and then the memory left his mind and flowed like golden honey into hers - warm and light, sweet and good for the soul. It was Aela as he’d seen her in Pangea, a mare nearly grown, so beautiful and with such a look of austere power that it had silenced him on the spot. At the end, just before the fragmented memory cut off, she opened her mouth and spoke to him. Truly? She’d asked.
“Truly beautiful.” Yanhua replied now, since he’d been unable to back then. For a second longer he held Lilliana closer, clung to her tighter, and then he let go.
12-12-2020, 02:00 AM (This post was last modified: 12-12-2020, 02:13 AM by lilliana.)
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LILLIANA
Wolfbane had been a (waking) nightmare.
She doesn't reflect on it (it, she always corrects herself, what it called itself does not matter) often and when she does, it's always on the end. There are things to keep Lilliana anchored to the present - Taiga, her children, Neverwhere - but sometimes that past comes crashing back in violent waves and she gets transported to that day by the ocean, stuck somewhere between the dunes and the gull cries above to remember the day she lost Aela.
But to go to the end means coming back to the beginning and that is where her trouble started. He had laughed and something in her had lifted with the sound; he had spoken about a future, something Lilliana had desperately wanted. (And she should have paid better attention, should have known better because Aletta had always said that the stars were heralds of change. That they were bringers and makers of Destiny. It never occurred to Lilli that they could have been a warning sign.)
Whatever it had been at the beginning or became at the end, it had become so twisted that the story no longer made a circle. It was a knot, tangled and mired in dark emotions like anger and resentment, and if Lilliana were capable of it, hatred.
Their children are far better than she deserves.
Her grandchildren are a gift that she can hardly fathom.
Lilliana smiles as she watches Reynard come forward and she encourages his boldness by reaching down to gently trace his darling ears. The boy is all of Yanhua's coloring; flaxen-maned and some part of her muses that the colt will be sprouting horns by autumn. There's even a matching gold-marking on his neck, passed from father to son. She looks again for the filly, a little girl who nearly matches Amarine. A bright, vibrant green mane and tail that makes her think of spring; of nature, and all things ready to bud and bloom.
This is what her future looks like.
It's hard to divert her attention away from Cheri and Reynard but she does to hold the blue-eyed gaze she shares with her son. He tells her that they will be careful and she exhales softly, forcing away the fearful thoughts of a mother. There are risks in Magic but glancing briefly at Ama, she knows that the pair understand this. They will be as careful they can.
"Oren and Rosey would adore them," she knows and nods to the pair of foals that had resumed their games and playful antics. It would be good for all of them, she thinks. Siblings and aunts and uncles and cousins growing up alongside each other. That had been her own childhood until her father's Magic had failed. But as she looks back to Yanhua, she wonders if the Mountain could help? Valerio had been tired and his abilities worn thin after the siege at Windskeep. There had been little to spare them when Maverick and his son came to Beyond for revenge. But what if the changes that Yanhua and Amarine brought back to Taiga could help in preventing the challenges that might come in the future?
If it's not something that the Mountain could provide, Lilliana means to try with an Alliance to the West. It was a place to start, anyway.
"Rosey does love her flowers," Lilliana says, softening at the mention of her youngest daughter. She gives a knowing glance to Ama, a mother twice over now. "Oren will most likely have a season's worth of questions but if you'd be willing to watch them so I can venture to Tephra, it would make the journey a quick one so you both can make your own to the Mountain after."
When the twins call the attention of their bejeweled dam away, Yanhua steps closer to envelop her in a hug. His muscled neck drapes over her own and she leans into the young stallion. Lilliana never wastes moments like these with her children, even the ones that have grown as tall as he has. The familiar sensation of their shared gift floods her and there it is, that cursed place: Pangea. She stiffens and a frown starts to form because the image is all wrong. It's all out of place. Elena? some part of her thinks at first, seeing the familial shade of gold. But no - the stockings are wrong (too high) and when the slender mare turns her head, her face is blazed and the eyes are blue.
A shade similar to Yanhua's. One that so closely resembles Valerio that her ache ripples through the echo.
There are still things wrong with the vision. Lilliana could feel the myriad of questions she had clawing their way to the surface, all demanding to be released. (Why was Aela in Pangea? How did she get there? What had happened to Kota?) But the sound of Aela's voice silences it. Her golden girl - the one that had so worried Lilliana with her silence, that she had let go because she refused to break apart another family - spoke and Lilliana, torn between weeping and laughing with joy, closes her eyes and finds peace in knowing that her daughter was safe.
