10-29-2021, 02:52 PM
Mazikeen
Had she recovered quickly when she was a foal? She’s pretty sure she hadn’t, the grudge she had held towards Firion lasted for a long time and the echoes of her first death as a yearling had haunted her for years. But maybe that is just a flaw inside of her and it is different for everyone else.
Firion's assurance that giving who she truly is now would be enough, and the tender touch to her cheek as he says it, sends a wave of emotion through her so strong she needs to close her eyes for a moment to keep it under control.
It is such an old fear, one that does not have the same bite as it once did but which still exists inside her. That she wasn't enough - not in the long term. It did not feel like things in her life were built to endure and it means so much to her that Firion continues to stay, that he might possibly think that she was enough.
This touch is brief, but she leans into it slightly and nods - wanting to believe him and the hope his words inspire so much she does not even think of arguing.
Somehow, even though it had been such a random thought to bring up, speaking of Silver Cove starts out being the easier topic to speak about.
“We could visit it sometime. It’s beautiful at night.” She is momentarily distracted by imagining Firion standing amongst the silvered surf, resplendent in the moonlight.
This can’t possibly be the time to let herself get lost down that trail of thoughts so while there is a flash of a private grin, and a faint tickle of heat on her cheeks, she remains fixed in the present and answers the question. “But no, no ideas.” None that were plausible anymore, and as is a habit of hers now she shares her thoughts with Firion instead of keeping them locked inside. “I did a very good job at chasing most of those I would trust with it away to the point where I don’t know where to find them.”
Even though she had been the one to stay it, she recognizes the dark trap of those thoughts and steers herself away by focusing on Firion. “And I’m selfish enough not to even want to consider asking you. Because even though I trust you -” The sincerity behind those last three words is a miracle for so many reasons, and in them there is both a weight that grounds her and a sweetness that makes her feel like floating. But she fumbles to find the words to explain the rest of her thoughts without making herself a burden.
She knows she has a habit of phrasing her thoughts in ‘I want’ sentences and she’s learned that this is a selfish thing to do. Both by being told that and knowing when she had her emotions scattered, what she wanted was the only thing she cared about. And if it had been a default while she had been like that, it just seemed to make sense that she should strive to be better now.
It is really only a tiny pause before she continues, the corner of her mouth tugging cautiously into a smile that matches her soft tone. “I like having you close.” And even a neighbouring land, separated by just the mountains, simply would not be close enough.
Firion's assurance that giving who she truly is now would be enough, and the tender touch to her cheek as he says it, sends a wave of emotion through her so strong she needs to close her eyes for a moment to keep it under control.
It is such an old fear, one that does not have the same bite as it once did but which still exists inside her. That she wasn't enough - not in the long term. It did not feel like things in her life were built to endure and it means so much to her that Firion continues to stay, that he might possibly think that she was enough.
This touch is brief, but she leans into it slightly and nods - wanting to believe him and the hope his words inspire so much she does not even think of arguing.
Somehow, even though it had been such a random thought to bring up, speaking of Silver Cove starts out being the easier topic to speak about.
“We could visit it sometime. It’s beautiful at night.” She is momentarily distracted by imagining Firion standing amongst the silvered surf, resplendent in the moonlight.
This can’t possibly be the time to let herself get lost down that trail of thoughts so while there is a flash of a private grin, and a faint tickle of heat on her cheeks, she remains fixed in the present and answers the question. “But no, no ideas.” None that were plausible anymore, and as is a habit of hers now she shares her thoughts with Firion instead of keeping them locked inside. “I did a very good job at chasing most of those I would trust with it away to the point where I don’t know where to find them.”
Even though she had been the one to stay it, she recognizes the dark trap of those thoughts and steers herself away by focusing on Firion. “And I’m selfish enough not to even want to consider asking you. Because even though I trust you -” The sincerity behind those last three words is a miracle for so many reasons, and in them there is both a weight that grounds her and a sweetness that makes her feel like floating. But she fumbles to find the words to explain the rest of her thoughts without making herself a burden.
She knows she has a habit of phrasing her thoughts in ‘I want’ sentences and she’s learned that this is a selfish thing to do. Both by being told that and knowing when she had her emotions scattered, what she wanted was the only thing she cared about. And if it had been a default while she had been like that, it just seemed to make sense that she should strive to be better now.
It is really only a tiny pause before she continues, the corner of her mouth tugging cautiously into a smile that matches her soft tone. “I like having you close.” And even a neighbouring land, separated by just the mountains, simply would not be close enough.
@firion