I wait on you, at the bottom of the deep blue sea; Lynx

[Persea]

All of the voices inside of my mind will never be silenced

She’s too young still to fully comprehend everything that lies between her parents. To understand them much beyond that they are her Mom and Dad, and that they love her a great deal. She doesn’t know of all the things that had brought them together, only collecting stray bits and pieces from their thoughts. And for a youth, it is not something she has cared to dwell too closely upon either.

She had not truly paused to consider, before now, the depths of her parent’s relationship. The way they feel towards one another, and all of the thoughts and feelings that rest beneath the surface of their simple, quiet life. Hadn’t realized that perhaps things are not quite so simple, because she hadn’t particularly cared to look. Since her birth, she had been far more interested in learning to quiet the voices. To block them out, pretend they didn’t exist, that she hadn’t taken the time to truly examine them.

But as Lynx opens up to her, she can see there is far more than she had known. Far more she might have known if only she had cared to look. For the first time, she begins to understand what it had taken her parents to get to this point. To be here, with her, with each other. And perhaps that means her situation isn’t as hopeless as she feared it might be.

Pressing closer to her mother, she rubs her face against the comforting shoulder, drawing a deep, shuddering breath to settle herself, inhaling the warm and familiar scent of her mom. Of home. Of family. “Yeah,” she agrees softly, exhaling shakily. “Yeah, ok.” Leaning her head against her Lynx’s shoulder, she nods faintly. “I love you too.”

Perhaps that was really all she needed. To know she wasn’t alone. To know she wouldn’t have to be alone. But it does make her wonder. About her parents, their past. About her Mom, and how she’d managed everything. If she’d ever felt like this. “Can you… tell me,” she begins, a little hesitantly. Not entirely certain if it’s something Lynx would want to share. She knows how private her mom could be. “About when you were a kid.”

until I can find a way to let go of what we left behind

persea