[private] Suddenly I was a lilac sky; then you decided purple just wasn’t for you | Chryseis

[Chryseis]

you were a vision in the morning
when the light came through,
i know i've only felt religion
when i've lied with you
and i'm still waking every morning
but it's not with you

.

He doesn’t give her enough credit, and she is slowly starting to realize that. She is not like most girls, and she never has been. She does not crumble and break when something upsets or hurts her; she hardens, she becomes something fierce and frigid. While she did not consider her mother weak, she was, in a sense, much stronger than Briseis. Situations that would have caused her mother to withdraw inside herself would have spurred Chryseis into a tumultuous mixture of torrid anger and a heart that runs cold, effectively protecting herself from falling apart.

But she listens to him, silent, letting him speak. He says things that she disagrees with, but her tongue never forms the words to argue. Not until he has finished. She has stepped away by then, and something in her facial expression has shifted. It is not the hot-tempered fury from before, sharp and erratic. It is something cooler, and without even meaning to, the almost invisible shield of her frost aura begins to rise. ”I was never under the impression you were in love with my mother. She never even mentioned you, until the day we saw you at the river. She let you into my life on her terms.”  Here, there is a pause, her shoulders rippling in what could have been a shrug. ”And if it’s so common for boys to get girls pregnant and abandon them, perhaps that’s something the boys should be working on.”

Another step, and the gap between them increases. ”Rhaegor isn’t like that. He’s not trying to do anything to hurt me. But even if that did happen, it wouldn’t be entirely his fault. If I willingly made the choice to be with him, how could he possibly be the only one to take the blame?” Even though her voice is level, even though her features are closed off, there is still a sorrow that flickers faintly in her dark brown eyes when she looks at her father – when she realizes that he truly thought so little of her. ”I love you, and you will always be my father. But I’m going to Tephra.”
With that, she turns, and she takes a few steps towards the Nerinian border. There is a pause, her steps stalling, as she turns her gold-blazed face to look over her shoulder, her dark brown eyes locking with his, ”For what it’s worth, you have hurt me far more than any boy could have ever dreamed of.” And this time when she walks away, she does not look back.

chryseis