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    COTY

    Assailant -- Year 226

    QOTY

    "But the dream, the echo, slips from him as quickly as he had found it and as consciousness comes to him (a slap and not the gentle waves of oceanic tides), it dissolves entirely. His muscles relax as the cold claims him again, as the numbness sets in, and when his grey eyes open, there’s nothing but the faint after burn of a dream often trod and never remembered." --Brigade, written by Laura


    [private]  as the day breaks and the earth quakes / castile
    #6
    ”I was too dangerous,” he mutters, his embarrassment reflected in the sheepish way he suddenly avoids her eyes. ”I couldn’t protect anyone, not even myself. I was afraid something would happen when our child was born.” The image of her blood flashes across the back of his eyelids when they drift shut. A battled raged inside him when his body shifted that day. Solace was victimized and the scars puckering her skin are constant reminders. It could have been worse, Castile once consoled himself as though that made it better. She was cut, yes, but more damage could have been inflicted if Castile had not been fighting himself. If it completely took over, Solace could have been killed. Their child – no, children – could have been killed.

    Unfortunately, Castile cannot expect Solace and Sabra to see it that way. He left them without a word, without even a farewell. What good is he?

    A reassuring touch is all he wanted – no, needed – from her, but instead his muzzle passes through as though she were a dream. Castile blinks once, twice, as he withdraws from where she should have been. Although she materializes again immediately, it takes a few long moments until Castile musters enough strength to meet her unyielding gaze. ”Okay,” he whispers with a defeated breath, understanding against his will. It cannot end like this, his musings blaze, but there isn’t anything he can do. Solace has made her decision, has built a wall to protect her heart from him. It would be so easy to be angry at her for this, for denying him, but he is stronger than that now – or, trying to be. Somehow, he swallows down the lump of emotion caught in his throat and reminds himself that this was to be expected. What they could have been – should have been – was destroyed when his mind buckled underneath the immense power of the monster inside him.

    He won’t give up on her, but he will respect her decisions.

    With a sigh weighted by his regrets, Castile finally admits, ”I’ve learned to control it.” He pauses briefly because he had mapped out how he would tell her, but that was before she coldly rejected his touch. ”I had done it for us, for our children.” The words almost catch in his throat and choke him, but with a surge of determination, they pour out. They will likely fall on deaf ears as Solace succumbs to her own inner battle between what she knows is right and wrong, and what she needs versus what she wants.

    There is a thoughtfulness in Castile’s eyes as they sweep across Solace, then the open meadow. Valdis and Velk, their twins. He wants to smile, wants to brim with joy and elation, but something shackles his legs and suppresses what he wants. The maelstrom of thoughts are propelled from every direction, a chaotic swirl of past, present, and future. ”What have they been told about me, Solace?” Suddenly, he wonders how he is perceived by his children, and even by the rest of Hyaline as they watched their Queen raise a set of twins alone (or was she alone?). ”What do they think?” He doesn’t elaborate on who ‘they’ are, keeping the question open-ended and vague. Deep down, he means it as their twins and Hyaline
    … and even the woman whose scent mingles so strongly with hers.




    @[Solace]
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    RE: as the day breaks and the earth quakes / castile - by Castile - 08-27-2018, 11:22 AM



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