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+---- Thread: [private] as the day breaks and the earth quakes / castile (/showthread.php?tid=20435)
as the day breaks and the earth quakes / castile - Solace - 08-21-2018
Solace
ring the bells that still can ring, forget your perfect offering
there is a crack in everything, that's how the light gets in
@[Castile]
RE: as the day breaks and the earth quakes / castile - Castile - 08-22-2018
It was only a matter of time until he was found. The minutes melted into hours as anxiety paralyzed him and rooted him to the meadow. Here, in the open field, he is exposed to their roving eyes. Castile doesn’t try to hide himself any longer, nor does he take flight to soar far from the looming accusations. Deep in the chasms of his heart, he is excited to see both Sabra and Solace, but also thrumming beneath the skin is his fear of rejection and his failure.
An occasional glance grants him a brief observance of the clouds as they slowly drift across the sky of blue. An underlying expectance to see Solace seizes him and when it actually happens – her lithe body and azure wings – his breath catches in his throat. He glimpses her for a heartbeat while she soars, but then his metallic eyes fall in shame, and he wonders if she will regard him or simply pass him by.
The muffled thud in front of him provides the answer.
Inhale… Exhale…
Castile steadies his breathing before lifting his eyes to her, expecting to see fury or disappointment or hate. Much to his surprise, there is something deeper, gentler, but he doesn’t speak until she has. They? His gaze flickers to the side as though the subject of her admission will appear from thin air. Solace doesn’t elaborate; she doesn’t even touch him like she once did. He finds himself craving it like a drug, his heart beginning to hammer in his chest. ”Who is they?” The memory of their evening flashes to the forefront of his mind, playing in sickeningly vivid detail. A smile almost makes it to his lips, but he harbors it. There had been intention that night from both parties. Castile knew what would come about. It was only a matter of time until Solace delivered their first child, but he didn’t know that she actually conceived twins.
Even now, when she says ‘they,’ Castile cannot fathom the prospect of more than one child.
A step is taken forward all while he drunkenly inhales the richness of her scent. It isn’t only her; there is Hyaline, children, her herd. Together entwined makes up the enticement of her, but still, Castile doesn’t reach to touch her. There is likely another in her life; he could never have expected her to wait for him, not when he hurt her both physically and emotionally. Yet, he can still see a deep churning in her eyes. Did she still want him? Did he ever cross her mind? For a long moment, Castile holds her gaze, searching her.
And then his voice finds ground, but it is low, only for her to hear. ”Tell me you didn’t miss me.” He dares her to contradict what her eyes are telling him.
An occasional glance grants him a brief observance of the clouds as they slowly drift across the sky of blue. An underlying expectance to see Solace seizes him and when it actually happens – her lithe body and azure wings – his breath catches in his throat. He glimpses her for a heartbeat while she soars, but then his metallic eyes fall in shame, and he wonders if she will regard him or simply pass him by.
The muffled thud in front of him provides the answer.
Inhale… Exhale…
Castile steadies his breathing before lifting his eyes to her, expecting to see fury or disappointment or hate. Much to his surprise, there is something deeper, gentler, but he doesn’t speak until she has. They? His gaze flickers to the side as though the subject of her admission will appear from thin air. Solace doesn’t elaborate; she doesn’t even touch him like she once did. He finds himself craving it like a drug, his heart beginning to hammer in his chest. ”Who is they?” The memory of their evening flashes to the forefront of his mind, playing in sickeningly vivid detail. A smile almost makes it to his lips, but he harbors it. There had been intention that night from both parties. Castile knew what would come about. It was only a matter of time until Solace delivered their first child, but he didn’t know that she actually conceived twins.
Even now, when she says ‘they,’ Castile cannot fathom the prospect of more than one child.
A step is taken forward all while he drunkenly inhales the richness of her scent. It isn’t only her; there is Hyaline, children, her herd. Together entwined makes up the enticement of her, but still, Castile doesn’t reach to touch her. There is likely another in her life; he could never have expected her to wait for him, not when he hurt her both physically and emotionally. Yet, he can still see a deep churning in her eyes. Did she still want him? Did he ever cross her mind? For a long moment, Castile holds her gaze, searching her.
And then his voice finds ground, but it is low, only for her to hear. ”Tell me you didn’t miss me.” He dares her to contradict what her eyes are telling him.
@[Solace]
RE: as the day breaks and the earth quakes / castile - Solace - 08-23-2018
Solace
Ring the bells that still can ring, forget your perfect offering.
There is a crack in everything, that's how the light gets in.
@[Castile]
RE: as the day breaks and the earth quakes / castile - Castile - 08-24-2018
The yearning in her eyes (she missed him and wondered where he had been) gives Castile a flicker of hope, but before he can grasp it and treasure it, it’s gone. Following his question, Solace blinks, and an anger suffocates what tenderness she had. This is what he expected – rage, hate, regret – but when faced with it, he flinches and inches back. He isn’t so proud as to mask his emotions and to appear stoic and unfazed. A thunderstorm of energy, yes, that is what he is. An inferno. Nearly a minute passes until realizing he had been holding his breath, watching her with unwavering intensity. ”I didn’t know… I thought…” but does it really matter what he thinks anymore? ”Twins?” The sense of failure nips at his heels, drawing blood now. It wasn’t just Solace he failed. The tally is increasing day by day, it seems.
Mother. Father. Solace. Sabra. Two sets of twins.
Four fucking children.
The weight of it hunches his shoulders and drops his head. Even his wings, proudly nestled, slide to the ground in defeat. There is a silence that lasts an eternity as the memories replay again and again until he is able to meet her eyes again. Solace, holding steadfast, speaks with a distant frigidity that he should have anticipated, but simply cannot accept. A lungful of air is drawn in, and it carries with her the enticing scent of what was and what currently is. There is still Hyaline and children, but there is a potent scent of another. It catches his attention albeit briefly because he masks it with what he remembers of them together, when she was his.
When they belonged to each other.
What distance he added between them is lost as he edges closer to her, lifting his metallic eyes to hers. He could touch her if he wanted, relive what they had, but he refrains. Would it drive her away? No, he won’t risk it. Castile is selfish; he wants her to stay right here with him, to keep her all to himself. ”It matters to me,” he finally quips with a sharpness in his tone that even he is unfamiliar with, but it doesn’t last. They’ve always been tender with one another – sweet caresses and kisses along their necks and shoulders – which he, even now, cannot let go. The sugary taste of her name is on the tip of his tongue, teasing him as his gaze traces along her despite her command. Unable to take it seriously, his lopsided, boyish grin stretches across his lips. Their eyes meet and steadily hold. ”I mean, if that’s what you’re into now, Solace.” His laughter is deep and rich in the space between them, luring her to abandon her guarded wall and to return into his embrace.
”We have a family,” he reiterates, more for his own realization than hers. They, together, created not just one but two beautiful children. While disappointed in his shortcomings, Castile cannot suppress the joy that blossoms in his gut. He wants to finally meet them, to reassure them that they have a father that cares for them. Searching Solace’s delicate face (he avoids searching for the scars he had bored into her flesh), he admits in a most tender voice, a tone so unlike the monster that lingers within him. ”I think you underestimate how much I care for you,” he murmurs, his breath warm and smoky, ”and always will.”
There is a pause as he finally reaches forward, smothering his fears of frightening her away, to touch the soft curve of her jaw and to sate what he has been wanting most. ”No matter what.”
Mother. Father. Solace. Sabra. Two sets of twins.
Four fucking children.
The weight of it hunches his shoulders and drops his head. Even his wings, proudly nestled, slide to the ground in defeat. There is a silence that lasts an eternity as the memories replay again and again until he is able to meet her eyes again. Solace, holding steadfast, speaks with a distant frigidity that he should have anticipated, but simply cannot accept. A lungful of air is drawn in, and it carries with her the enticing scent of what was and what currently is. There is still Hyaline and children, but there is a potent scent of another. It catches his attention albeit briefly because he masks it with what he remembers of them together, when she was his.
When they belonged to each other.
What distance he added between them is lost as he edges closer to her, lifting his metallic eyes to hers. He could touch her if he wanted, relive what they had, but he refrains. Would it drive her away? No, he won’t risk it. Castile is selfish; he wants her to stay right here with him, to keep her all to himself. ”It matters to me,” he finally quips with a sharpness in his tone that even he is unfamiliar with, but it doesn’t last. They’ve always been tender with one another – sweet caresses and kisses along their necks and shoulders – which he, even now, cannot let go. The sugary taste of her name is on the tip of his tongue, teasing him as his gaze traces along her despite her command. Unable to take it seriously, his lopsided, boyish grin stretches across his lips. Their eyes meet and steadily hold. ”I mean, if that’s what you’re into now, Solace.” His laughter is deep and rich in the space between them, luring her to abandon her guarded wall and to return into his embrace.
”We have a family,” he reiterates, more for his own realization than hers. They, together, created not just one but two beautiful children. While disappointed in his shortcomings, Castile cannot suppress the joy that blossoms in his gut. He wants to finally meet them, to reassure them that they have a father that cares for them. Searching Solace’s delicate face (he avoids searching for the scars he had bored into her flesh), he admits in a most tender voice, a tone so unlike the monster that lingers within him. ”I think you underestimate how much I care for you,” he murmurs, his breath warm and smoky, ”and always will.”
There is a pause as he finally reaches forward, smothering his fears of frightening her away, to touch the soft curve of her jaw and to sate what he has been wanting most. ”No matter what.”
@[Solace]
all the feeeeeels
RE: as the day breaks and the earth quakes / castile - Solace - 08-24-2018
Solace
Ring the bells that still can ring, forget your perfect offering.
There is a crack in everything, that's how the light gets in.
@[Castile] so to clear up any confusion, she had 'phasing' now!
RE: as the day breaks and the earth quakes / castile - Castile - 08-27-2018
”I was too dangerous,” he mutters, his embarrassment reflected in the sheepish way he suddenly avoids her eyes. ”I couldn’t protect anyone, not even myself. I was afraid something would happen when our child was born.” The image of her blood flashes across the back of his eyelids when they drift shut. A battled raged inside him when his body shifted that day. Solace was victimized and the scars puckering her skin are constant reminders. It could have been worse, Castile once consoled himself as though that made it better. She was cut, yes, but more damage could have been inflicted if Castile had not been fighting himself. If it completely took over, Solace could have been killed. Their child – no, children – could have been killed.
Unfortunately, Castile cannot expect Solace and Sabra to see it that way. He left them without a word, without even a farewell. What good is he?
A reassuring touch is all he wanted – no, needed – from her, but instead his muzzle passes through as though she were a dream. Castile blinks once, twice, as he withdraws from where she should have been. Although she materializes again immediately, it takes a few long moments until Castile musters enough strength to meet her unyielding gaze. ”Okay,” he whispers with a defeated breath, understanding against his will. It cannot end like this, his musings blaze, but there isn’t anything he can do. Solace has made her decision, has built a wall to protect her heart from him. It would be so easy to be angry at her for this, for denying him, but he is stronger than that now – or, trying to be. Somehow, he swallows down the lump of emotion caught in his throat and reminds himself that this was to be expected. What they could have been – should have been – was destroyed when his mind buckled underneath the immense power of the monster inside him.
He won’t give up on her, but he will respect her decisions.
With a sigh weighted by his regrets, Castile finally admits, ”I’ve learned to control it.” He pauses briefly because he had mapped out how he would tell her, but that was before she coldly rejected his touch. ”I had done it for us, for our children.” The words almost catch in his throat and choke him, but with a surge of determination, they pour out. They will likely fall on deaf ears as Solace succumbs to her own inner battle between what she knows is right and wrong, and what she needs versus what she wants.
There is a thoughtfulness in Castile’s eyes as they sweep across Solace, then the open meadow. Valdis and Velk, their twins. He wants to smile, wants to brim with joy and elation, but something shackles his legs and suppresses what he wants. The maelstrom of thoughts are propelled from every direction, a chaotic swirl of past, present, and future. ”What have they been told about me, Solace?” Suddenly, he wonders how he is perceived by his children, and even by the rest of Hyaline as they watched their Queen raise a set of twins alone (or was she alone?). ”What do they think?” He doesn’t elaborate on who ‘they’ are, keeping the question open-ended and vague. Deep down, he means it as their twins and Hyaline
… and even the woman whose scent mingles so strongly with hers.
Unfortunately, Castile cannot expect Solace and Sabra to see it that way. He left them without a word, without even a farewell. What good is he?
A reassuring touch is all he wanted – no, needed – from her, but instead his muzzle passes through as though she were a dream. Castile blinks once, twice, as he withdraws from where she should have been. Although she materializes again immediately, it takes a few long moments until Castile musters enough strength to meet her unyielding gaze. ”Okay,” he whispers with a defeated breath, understanding against his will. It cannot end like this, his musings blaze, but there isn’t anything he can do. Solace has made her decision, has built a wall to protect her heart from him. It would be so easy to be angry at her for this, for denying him, but he is stronger than that now – or, trying to be. Somehow, he swallows down the lump of emotion caught in his throat and reminds himself that this was to be expected. What they could have been – should have been – was destroyed when his mind buckled underneath the immense power of the monster inside him.
He won’t give up on her, but he will respect her decisions.
With a sigh weighted by his regrets, Castile finally admits, ”I’ve learned to control it.” He pauses briefly because he had mapped out how he would tell her, but that was before she coldly rejected his touch. ”I had done it for us, for our children.” The words almost catch in his throat and choke him, but with a surge of determination, they pour out. They will likely fall on deaf ears as Solace succumbs to her own inner battle between what she knows is right and wrong, and what she needs versus what she wants.
There is a thoughtfulness in Castile’s eyes as they sweep across Solace, then the open meadow. Valdis and Velk, their twins. He wants to smile, wants to brim with joy and elation, but something shackles his legs and suppresses what he wants. The maelstrom of thoughts are propelled from every direction, a chaotic swirl of past, present, and future. ”What have they been told about me, Solace?” Suddenly, he wonders how he is perceived by his children, and even by the rest of Hyaline as they watched their Queen raise a set of twins alone (or was she alone?). ”What do they think?” He doesn’t elaborate on who ‘they’ are, keeping the question open-ended and vague. Deep down, he means it as their twins and Hyaline
… and even the woman whose scent mingles so strongly with hers.
@[Solace]
RE: as the day breaks and the earth quakes / castile - Solace - 09-23-2018
S
olace
we're reeling through an endless fall
we are the ever-living ghost of what once was
we are the ever-living ghost of what once was
@[Castile] better late than never, right?
