[mature] Darkness is needed for light to shine - Nihlus

[Nuage]

Nihlus’ battle with love did indeed fuck you up. Though where the dark bay male is being fucked up by it, it is different for Nuage. It is the lack of love (and care, and attention, and commitment) that fucks him up. There is no way one could deny that Nihlus didn’t fuck it up bad by breaking his promise and disappearing.

The result had been a broken-hearted sky kissed bay stallion. And as always, Nih makes him feel like a love-struck boy – like a goddamn idiot – and there is nothing that Nuage can do to stop the feeling. Just seeing the tall, handsome stallion makes his knees weak and head spin. Desire and need are thick in the air. He want to be close to Nihlus is painful, and so very, very conflicting with his anger. I am not giving in. He can fucking fuck off again. The soft whisper of his ex-lover’s name had been a weak moment, and nothing more than that. Or so Nu tells himself.

He both hates and loves the way in which Nihlus presses forward. Never before had Nuage denied his dom what he wanted, but that is perhaps why he is more determined to not give it right now. “Stay away!” he snaps, futile as Nih presses further forward. In fact, when Nihlus speaks again, he is close enough to reach out. Nuage’s reaction comes in the form of bared teeth that aim to harm.

Nihlus isn’t the only one panicking. But, in Nuage’s defence, he had warned the other male.

“No, no, no, NOOO. Stay away from me!” The blue-bay is shaking his head repeatedly, eyes squeezing shut as he tries to block out each and every spoken words, there was no way that he would go to the taller stallion. He even goes as far as rearing lowly, legs kicking out to drive Nihlus away from him, then stomping them on the ground before jumping backward. Nuage, too, is crying. And his body trembling, with the effort to keep himself together. After all those months, he finally has reached his breaking point. And the more Nihlus says, the worse he becomes. Shut the fuck up. Please.

There are so many things he wants to say, things he wants to yell and get off his heart, but the lump in his throat makes it impossible for Nuage to speak up. And it is not as if Nihlus would allow him to speak. Not while he is fucking yelling at Nuage. By the time he is done, the blue-bay is shaking with anger.

When Nihlus steps forwards this time, Nuage raises his head. His chest puffs out – not that it makes him look impressive, but the message is clear enough – and his teeth are bared. Don’t. Come. Near. Me. To make sure Nih does not mistaken his angry posture, Nu’s blue tipped ears press back against his neck and his left foreleg angrily stomps and scrapes the ground. “You had me. Then you fucking left” he snaps back, shaking his head as to deny whatever Nihlus is asking for.

Instead of softening, like Nihlus’ gaze, his gaze hardens. His angry stare holds his ex-lover’s one, before glancing away with a loud huff and another stomp of his hoof. He doesn’t realises how he is panting, how his anger has him all shaken up, and how it all might look like. Doesn’t care either. “You had me,” he repeats, softer this time as his tail flicks through the air. “Didn’t you know that two halves make a whole?” Or could’ve made a whole.

In the silence that follows the electric zaps reach a whole new level of intensity. To the point it makes Nuage uncomfortable, not only aware of his anger, hurt and betrayed feeling, but also painfully aware of the desire and need between them. Enough to make him try and swallow the dry lump in his throat, wetting his own lips in the process. Slowly Nuage’s gaze moves back to Nihlus, staring right into those glowing blue eyes that never fail to lure him. At the same time Nihlus’ last words keep ringing in his ears. “I just want to be yours.” Exactly the thing Nuage had asked of the tall dark bay male before he had drifted to sleep, the answer had only followed when he hadn’t been conscious to hear it, and now it was finally spoken out loud. Nuage shudders, gasping for breath as he stumbles backwards. Trying to fight it he shakes his head, squeezing his eyes shut to keep the tears from falling, but failing. Lower lip is wedged between his teeth, now more hesitantly lifting his gaze to glance at Nihlus.

The silence stretches. Another deep breath, his eyes closed for a short moment as his muscles let go a little of the tension. “Prove it.”

He’s caving. But not without making Nihlus show how committed he is. How much he wants this and how much of his words are true.

Nuage

I wanted it to be you

@[Nihlus]
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