11-04-2017, 01:09 AM
if there's a light at the end, it's just the sun in your eyes
"Yes. I do," he says blandly in response when she whispers that he doesn't need to go find who had caused her this harm. The small protest delays him though, causing a furrow in the middle of his forehead as he swings his gilded head back to the starry-eyed mare. "You know I have to," he says to her. Caring for others is the only thing he has ever known. And now someone has hurt the only mare he has ever truly loved. And even though his insides feel numb and cold, there is still some subconscious part of his brain that is telling him to fix this wrong.
He turns to go again but Ciri repeats his name and it sounds sweet, so sweet, coming from her lips. Frustration flares in the gilded stallion. He doesn't want his name to sound that way coming from her lips. It only stands to further drive the pain through him. When gold eyes connect with silver once again, her broken words are marred by a wince, one that he assumes is from the pain of her wounds and not the unknown third party that has begun to blossom inside of her. I do love you, Ciri says, and he blinks his frustrated tears away.
"And I love you," he says matter-of-factly, blankly, as if he is telling her the sky is blue and not that she holds his heart and his soul. "I told you once that I could not bear to watch you walk away from here," he rebuttals as she offers to go stay in Ischia with Circinae and the red soothsayer, "but I will not stop you if that's what you want to do."
He tries to remain unfeeling, finding a small amount of comfortable in being numb. She moves away from him and from the wisteria tree, her facade twisted into an expression that he had never seen before. And when Ciri speaks again, it has nothing to do with him and her, but with Castile, and his detachment shatters ─ tears fall from Amet's amber eyes and his lips curl downward in despair. His head drops low, shoulders quaking with silent sobs as the defeat washes over him. He can't hide his vulnerability any longer. Not when the pain is this great.
"Why am I not good enough, Ciri? What have I done wrong?" his words are broken and his throat tightens uncomfortably but he doesn't care. He can't care. He has already given her too much.
Amet
@[Ciri]