Ciri
She would rather face the Leshen. Would rather fight a million Sirens. Would rather the Underneath snatch her back then see the blankness on his face as he shuts down in front of her. All the monsters in the world seemed easier than doing this, confessing her truths. Speaking her feelings. Her heart drops as soon as her words register, as soon as she sees his reaction. Like a punch to the gut he moves away from her and her own heart finally rips in two. The price to pay to love a dragon. Dragons. So this is what heartbreak feels like, she thinks. The stars had always been right. One could only see so much, to experience it was something else entirely.
Her muzzle pulls tightly to her chest, feeling the need to protect herself from the huge wound she has caused. Unthinkingly she tries to call for the stars but they don’t come, kept back by the pale rays of the autumn sun. He seems to be talking to himself, she can hear him but the words fail her. She’s unsure what else to say in the wake of his rejection. He mentions Jah-Lilah and she is confused but her stomach fills with ice as he finally voices what she had feared.
He can’t. She knew better then to expect him to understand, to welcome such news with open arms. But the rejection burns and the tears she had promised herself she would not shed spill freely, stinging the exposed flesh of her wounded cheek. His words are clipped, savage with sharp tenacity. She is left spinning with uncertainty, their love and where they stand completely up in the air.
For a moment she almost apologies but then holds her tongue. Whatever dignity she has left, she will keep. She could have lied, could have let the frustration and confusion build until it all ended in regret. But she respected him too much to do that. Just as she respected herself. They were better than that. ”You don’t have to do that.” She whispers softly as he turns away from her, feeling broken and exposed before him.
The same cramping pain returns in her stress, deep within her belly. She winces and bows her head slightly. ”Amet…” She doesn’t know what to say. The memories of him seem to freshly slap her across the face, of all they had experienced together. ”I do love you.” Her voice broken, soft in the wake of not knowing what to do. How to make this better. She had not experienced Castile in the way he probably thought. He did not know her as Amet had. She could not cross that line, not without him knowing. While she may have slipped dangerously close, she knew better.
”Perhaps I should stay with Circy and Jah for awhile.” She finally manages, trembling with her sadness and pain. Stepping away from the wisteria tree that’s making her gag and making the cramping in her belly worse. ”Please…. Don’t ruin your friendship for this. Not for me.” Knowing that it was perhaps a request she shouldn’t ask but she couldn’t stand being the cause of a broken friendship. This was already too painful, too destructive.
all of time and space, everywhere and anywhere, every star that ever was
@[Amet]