Let me apologize to begin with...
I should never have made promises I couldn't keep, but my intentions had always been pure. Even now, I can't imagine a reason good enough to leave. But I've done it before, and even as the promise slips past my lips, I know it was a mistake. Her lack of answer is proof enough.
Still, I squeeze her a bit tighter. A part of me hopes that maybe, if I just hold on to her tight enough, I'll be able to keep her with me always. Another, more sensible part of me knows it for the fallacy it is. I don't answer her either, knowing there is nothing I could say to make the truth go away, or to make such abandonment any less painful.
I know abandonment all too well.
I haven't really thought of my family in ages. It all seems so distant. But being here, with Lilitha so near and her familiar scent in my nostrils, it brings it all back. And her hesitation makes it all so much worse, her acknowledgement of her adoptive father by his name rather than a more familiar title hits so close to home. "I'm so sorry," I say again, apparently unable to say anything else. I brush a gentle caress across her shoulder, soothing and heartfelt in its warmth. I know too well that pain.
In some respects, she is fortunate to have had a father. In others, perhaps I am more fortunate to have never known mine. At least I didn't have to experience the pain of abandonment twice.
"Lilitha." I test her full name on my tongue before offering her a small, teasing grin. "So grown up. And here I thought we'd never grown up."
My features turn serious once more as I shift my teal gaze to consider the forest. After a few moments of silence, I turn back to her to ask quietly, almost hesitantly "Do you want to find him? Romek?"
Moment
accident-prone son of Offspring and Lirren