06-09-2015, 02:25 PM
I am alone here, now. Not really, that is a lie. But I feel alone. I feel as though I could be doing something more, something more purposeful, but I am not. For a year I have hidden myself in the shadows of my jungle-mothers; I guess you could say the quiet atmosphere was nice. I liked waking to exotic birds, bright colours, and other child-like stimulates. I enjoyed being by myself, growing, becoming useful.
But now that I am useful, I just feel… Empty?
I feel almost.. bad… that my mother hasn’t seen me much and when she has it wasn’t for long. I feel like a disappointment, a burden, maybe an ungrateful child and perhaps I am. So that is why today, for some odd and unknown reason, I have ventured outside the comfort of my own corner and decided to find her—speak with her—and really actually enjoy it.
You can only be alone for so long before you actually long the thrill of company.
The Jungle is my home, I am a brother of the united sisters and a son in most eyes. They appreciate men here unlike what many others believe; it isn’t the sexist place I am sure it once was. Here I feel more mothered than probably anywhere else, even if it isn’t always from Lagertha, others pitch in as well. They do their part in being passionate for every living and breathing thing that resides in their border.
I see her. I feel timid approaching her, seeking her out when she most likely least expected it. I want to do something for her—be something that she can actually enjoy. I don’t want to be a failure, or lazy, I want to be great and prove her right.
“Hi, mom,” I say in an awkward tongue, my voice slightly hoarse from lack of use and suddenly sounds deeper even in my ears. I am becoming a man day by day, still a year to go but yet a year really isn’t too far away. Enough time for me to grow, enough time for me to learn. Maybe, even, enough time for me to see my father.
OOC: Thanks for being unbelievably patient Sarah. Tried to give you the freedom to mold what has happened in the past year, hope this post isn't too awful o.o.
But now that I am useful, I just feel… Empty?
I feel almost.. bad… that my mother hasn’t seen me much and when she has it wasn’t for long. I feel like a disappointment, a burden, maybe an ungrateful child and perhaps I am. So that is why today, for some odd and unknown reason, I have ventured outside the comfort of my own corner and decided to find her—speak with her—and really actually enjoy it.
You can only be alone for so long before you actually long the thrill of company.
The Jungle is my home, I am a brother of the united sisters and a son in most eyes. They appreciate men here unlike what many others believe; it isn’t the sexist place I am sure it once was. Here I feel more mothered than probably anywhere else, even if it isn’t always from Lagertha, others pitch in as well. They do their part in being passionate for every living and breathing thing that resides in their border.
I see her. I feel timid approaching her, seeking her out when she most likely least expected it. I want to do something for her—be something that she can actually enjoy. I don’t want to be a failure, or lazy, I want to be great and prove her right.
“Hi, mom,” I say in an awkward tongue, my voice slightly hoarse from lack of use and suddenly sounds deeper even in my ears. I am becoming a man day by day, still a year to go but yet a year really isn’t too far away. Enough time for me to grow, enough time for me to learn. Maybe, even, enough time for me to see my father.
OOC: Thanks for being unbelievably patient Sarah. Tried to give you the freedom to mold what has happened in the past year, hope this post isn't too awful o.o.