Let me apologize to begin with...
I press close, muzzle resting heavily against her shoulder as I soak in the warmth and comfort of an old friend (in truth, my only friend). I wish the moment could last forever, that we could stay like this always and pretend the world doesn't exist.
But alas, these moments are always fleeting in nature, and even this one must end. Though why it has to end with me feeling like a total heel, I'm not quite sure. Her words snap me out of my reverie and I flinch a bit internally, my heart breaking as my culpability sinks in.
I had never meant to be like the rest of my family, to disappear on the only other horse who had ever seemed to care for me. The weight of guilt sinks deep into my breast as my breath catches in my throat. ”I'm so sorry, Litha,”, I whisper quietly, almost inaudibly.
There are a hundred things I could say, a hundred excuses I could give, but they all seem so trite now. So very poor and inexcusable. ”I'm here now, I won't leave again. I promise.”
Swallowing back the lump in my throat, I pull back as she does, my teal eyes rising to meet her golden ones. I smile a small, tremulous smile, hoping she won't notice the tears that threaten (I always seem on the verge of crying around her. I never seem to have this problem any other time, but maybe that's just what happens when you're with those you care about. I wouldn't really know, I have so few).
”Mo is wonderful. I've been ok, I suppose. Surviving.” I laugh a bit half-heartedly at that, eyes ducking down briefly before finding hers again. ”And you Litha? You look really good. And your wings, they're gone!” I continue, eyes once more lighting a bit. ”Tell me everything.”
It is a welcome distraction, and one I'm hoping will make her overlook the fact I hadn't shared much of my story. It's boring really, and rather sad. I haven't managed to do much yet besides waste my life away doing a whole lot of nothing.
Moment
accident-prone son of Offspring and Lirren