"But the dream, the echo, slips from him as quickly as he had found it and as consciousness comes to him (a slap and not the gentle waves of oceanic tides), it dissolves entirely. His muscles relax as the cold claims him again, as the numbness sets in, and when his grey eyes open, there’s nothing but the faint after burn of a dream often trod and never remembered." --Brigade, written by Laura
09-10-2016, 09:29 AM (This post was last modified: 09-10-2016, 09:32 AM by Rhae.)
Her milky mane brushed restlessly against her chocolate-gray neck. She'd walk quickly with her head a little low, halt and straighten up, looking around (and up), then walk again.
Walk, halt.
Walk, halt.
But her little sister was no where in sight.
"Lou.." she called quietly. She didn't want to bring attention to herself, only wished to find her adopted sister. "Annie?"
She circled through the wide meadow, winding her way through as casually as she could. She kept her head low, her steps even(ish). Inconspicuous. The slight hitch in her gait was probably unnoticeable, she assured herself. No one would notice, or think twice about it.
She was growing concerned. Just another creased brow amidst all the others. The rebellious sun above gently baked her back. It seemed so happy when all these faces seemed so sad, confused. She swept through a patch of tall, deep purple flowers, and paused for a break. Just a brief respite 'til she would try again.
Rhae
when i feel lost.. i'll search the skies for you
@[Louisiane] (if you're playing her <3)
@[Dina] @[Lokii] (if mommy or daddy want to come out and play )
There is nothing for me to do but wander. I am for the time being homeless, yet I have joined others in an effort to change that. While the group is not one I would usually find myself in the company of, somehow it doesn’t feel entirely wrong to engage them. It’s that inner dilemma I face, still, after all these years. Good and bad, right and wrong, I am the product of polar opposites and I face the challenges of that daily. Mother was so soft, so gentle and sweet, good in all ways that are possible to be so- Mother was weak. Father was strong, crafty and manipulative- Father was a devil in disguise.
I shake my head, my bleached mane falling limp and dry around my neck, across my temple. I do not know why I linger so long and hard on these thoughts of my origins, perhaps it is because the world is new again and I find myself returning to that original state. To the beginning of everything, of my life.
It doesn’t take much effort or energy to roam the Meadow, yet I do so vigilantly. I must assist the others if I am to be of any use because I am not one who will show up empty handed. When we must ask the fae for a space of our own I will be there, I will give them their due, as well as the Dark God. I know he will have it regardless and I do not wish to test his patience with me, to dabble with his favor because I do not take it as something earned lightly- if earned at all is possible.
The girl is amongst the flowers, purple and fragrant and lovely. I whicker to her, low and light, lower my own head because I am so large. Often I am found imposing, scary, and formidable but today I do not need my size to assist me with keeping devils at bay. “Hello,” I try, the word heavy and awkward from my mouth, how strange I must sound. At least I do not have to hear myself.
It was not long when she heard a figure approach, though truthfully she had seen this person long before she arrived. Rhae's eyes darted every which way, but she'd avoided making eye contact so as not to invite conversation. She wasn't rude, just.. very uncomfortable around strangers.
Even as the other mare, that large one there, came closer and greeted her with "hello", Rhae glanced over her own shoulder to the treeline behind her. Her eyes begged to find someone else this woman could be talking to, but nay, it was clear the fidgety grullo was her intended target.
She did then, fidget that is, shifting her weight nervously and still avoiding eye contact. Rhae ducked her head in a stuttering nod of acknowledgement, wishing she could disappear. Her eyes continued to searched for Annie, a bit more desperately now. Little Annie could make this better.
As a child, Rhae had been close with her mother. Practically glued to her. She followed her everywhere, and hid behind her when strangers approached. She was no longer a child, and could no longer do that. In fact, she hadn't a clue where her mother was now; she'd woken up to find her gone one day. That's when Annie had found her, had given her a new sense of home and calm. A new family. Odd that, a child adopting a mare.
Rhae shook her hair over her face, wishing it actually worked to hide her like some form of camouflage, a horse's Ghillie suit perhaps. It took a good few minutes to work up the courage to respond verbally.
"Hi," was all she managed from that well of strength, sparing just a fleeting glance to the mare to indicate she addressed her and not her own feet or the flowers before her nose. She belatedly noted the woman's voice was a little odd, but her frazzled state of mind immediately brushed the thought away, more concerned with melting into the purple flowers.
She silently cursed her nervous nature. Why couldn't she just be normal? Instead of holding her head proudly like others seemed to do so naturally, she huddled in shadows that had not swallowed her up, damn them.
She is afraid, afraid of me. I look to the ground for one fleeting moment, coppery eyes finding the grasses and purple flowers before returning to the girl in front of me. She too looks away, looks back as if someone else should be there, or she wants someone else to be there. She wants anyone but me and I can see it written all over her youthful features.
I sigh, heavily, burdened. I’m always dealing with this, this intimidation that comes from my size or I chalk it up to size, surely it can be nothing else. I am calm when I approach, slowly making my way to others. I’m kind enough too aren’t I? I greet them carefully, patiently letting the words flow from my lips in their thick mess as I try my best to pronounce things I can no longer hear.
Watching her watch me is all I can do, do I make her that nervous, that uncomfortable?
“I’m sorry,” I try. “I didn’t mean to spook you. Are you okay, have you found your others yet?” So many questions and I would have a time understanding her answers, a task reading her lips to know her words. I watch her mouth now, train my eyes on them so I may know things, so I might learn. “Speak slowly please. I can’t hear you see,” I explain why my eyes drill holes at the end of her nose, my eyes don’t even flick up at her own as I reveal this knowledge- I might miss something said.
The mare apologized to her, no doubt seeing her uneasiness, and, as they often did, she also admitted she hadn't meant to spook her. Rhae wished she could tell her that it wasn't just her that makes her so nervous, it was anybody at all, really, but she felt more comfortable holding her silence. She would always prefer that when possible.
"Are you ok, have you found your others yet?" she asked then. It takes time for Rhae to formulate responses, and before she's ready the mare speaks again. "Speak slowly please. I can't hear, you see."
Rhae grimaced, shame riddled over her like pelting raindrops. She should have thought more on the woman's odd tone, should have noticed her more minimal ear movements. Was she so consumed in her own uncomfortable nature to give proper consideration for others? She wondered how much more of this greeting she'd botch before it was done. Damn, she was so socially hopeless.
"Sorry," she breathed. She flinched, realizing she was still speaking down to flowers. This was going to be hard. She would have to battle her nature to talk with her. With great effort she lifted her face slowly, eyes flitting to the mare's, seeing she was staring carefully at her mouth for her words, then locking her own gaze to a suddenly very interesting spot on the woman's neck.
"I'm sorry," she said a little more clearly, not that it mattered. "I'm. I.."Stop stuttering, you'll confuse her.
She broke the tension she hadn't noticed she was feeling as she turned away a moment, but quickly pulled herself back when she realized she'd done it, making sure to keep her mouth visible. Holding her head this way was unfamiliar, odd. A little too high. She was so accustomed to looking down, or around. Never up for conversation, but always away from faces. It made her appear weak, she knew. Though, she didn't truly think she was. Maybe.
"I.. don't think I have others to find," she said softly, her voice hitched in pain. A frown pulled her lips down, and her gaze bounced over the mare anxiously; her shoulder, neck, nose, cheek, shoulder. Anywhere but her eyes, despite the fact they would not return the stare, focused on her mouth as they were.
"My name is Rhae, by the way." She started out strong, but by the latter three words, she was mumbling again. She silently cursed herself.
Rhae took a cautious little step closer, craning her neck as far as she could reach. Her nose didn't seem to work as well as it should, or perhaps others did not rely on theirs nearly as much as she did, but she wanted to get a better smell of the mare. Sometimes that seemed to settle her nerves a mite when she could have a scent of them.
My eyes, coppery things as they are, are heavy as they fall on her. Reminiscent of two pennies sinking to the bottom of a wishing well, lazily swaying back and forth before they settle on the bottom. I am awake but I am tired, less my soul is. It felt like a weight against my skin today but only because I am thirsty and have yet to stop for drink. I set out to achieve something, to make my way in life against all odds and I had chosen the most difficult path. Difficult but not impossible. He’d not have the best of me, if the soiled creatures of this earth could thrive there,well then, so could I. I am no delicate flower, deaf or otherwise.
The other’s eyes fall to the earth and I follow, straining to see her lips that might as well bury themselves in the ground. I shift my weight, stretching my head and neck lower to see before she pops her own up again. Repetition of her previous statement on her smokey lips. Sorry, but of course. I shake my head at the nonsense, no need for all that, “S’okay” I say plainly, shooing her formalities aside. Proper protocol only got you so far in the world and often enough they were as brief and intangible as the breath spent to say them. Words are wind.
No others, my ears fall in response though they have made out no such noise that she speaks. My eyes find the words that my ears do not and they fall flat, splayed and saddened for her admittance. I myself don’t have many others but I have them, even if they stayed behind on the Mountain. I knew where they were at the very least, I knew they were okay, I knew I had someone to worry and care for. “I see,” I say and pause for several beats. “My own others stayed behind, suit themselves. If you need a place though, I’d welcome you to mine.” Mine, well, it was as good as mine too, even if I was sharing with heathens. “It’s not the nicest place but I’ve made up my mind to carry on there.” I try to give her a hopeful smile, even if she doesn’t come she would have a friend in me. She would have an other and she would know that I am safe and well.
The mare dismissed Rhae's apologies easily and she was visibly relieved. She hated to offend people.
She held herself stiff so she couldn't fidget as the other spoke to her, glancing around every so often just in case she would catch site of little Annie. But it was useless; Annie was gone. Just like her mother. She was left alone again, discarded into dangerous waters without a lifeline. Already, she could feel the currents pulling her under, soaking her in threatening anxiety, weighing her down to the bottom. Her breath came in shorter breaths and her mouth dried, but her attention returned to the woman at her next words.
"If you need a place though, I'd welcome you to mine. It's not the nicest place but I've made up my mind to carry on there."
The offer wasn't entirely promising, but did she really want to be thrown out in the open on her own again? Struggling with her nervous nature while trying to land another home didn't sound at all appealing. And here she was, given a direct offer to have that, where she could get used to faces around her until they were familiar, until she was comfortable again. Maybe even safe.
She'd said it wasn't the nicest place, but really, beggars can't be choosers, right? Rhae was nearly shivering with eagerness at the stability she was being offered.
"Yes," she spouted. Wide eyes swept the area, then returned with a calmer tone -not that it made a difference. "Um, yes. It seems I'm in need of a new place to live... so, um, I could come with you?" Rhae watched her eyes then, finding bravery in desperation as her heart raced.
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