You were automatic, as hollow as the 'o' in God.

There is nothing for me to do but wander. I am for the time being homeless, yet I have joined others in an effort to change that. While the group is not one I would usually find myself in the company of, somehow it doesn’t feel entirely wrong to engage them. It’s that inner dilemma I face, still, after all these years. Good and bad, right and wrong, I am the product of polar opposites and I face the challenges of that daily. Mother was so soft, so gentle and sweet, good in all ways that are possible to be so- Mother was weak. Father was strong, crafty and manipulative- Father was a devil in disguise.

I shake my head, my bleached mane falling limp and dry around my neck, across my temple. I do not know why I linger so long and hard on these thoughts of my origins, perhaps it is because the world is new again and I find myself returning to that original state. To the beginning of everything, of my life.

It doesn’t take much effort or energy to roam the Meadow, yet I do so vigilantly. I must assist the others if I am to be of any use because I am not one who will show up empty handed. When we must ask the fae for a space of our own I will be there, I will give them their due, as well as the Dark God. I know he will have it regardless and I do not wish to test his patience with me, to dabble with his favor because I do not take it as something earned lightly- if earned at all is possible.

The girl is amongst the flowers, purple and fragrant and lovely. I whicker to her, low and light, lower my own head because I am so large. Often I am found imposing, scary, and formidable but today I do not need my size to assist me with keeping devils at bay. “Hello,” I try, the word heavy and awkward from my mouth, how strange I must sound. At least I do not have to hear myself.

{TIOGA}

khaos x wichita

You were automatic, as hollow as the 'o' in God.

She is afraid, afraid of me. I look to the ground for one fleeting moment, coppery eyes finding the grasses and purple flowers before returning to the girl in front of me. She too looks away, looks back as if someone else should be there, or she wants someone else to be there. She wants anyone but me and I can see it written all over her youthful features.

I sigh, heavily, burdened. I’m always dealing with this, this intimidation that comes from my size or I chalk it up to size, surely it can be nothing else. I am calm when I approach, slowly making my way to others. I’m kind enough too aren’t I? I greet them carefully, patiently letting the words flow from my lips in their thick mess as I try my best to pronounce things I can no longer hear.

Watching her watch me is all I can do, do I make her that nervous, that uncomfortable?

“I’m sorry,” I try. “I didn’t mean to spook you. Are you okay, have you found your others yet?” So many questions and I would have a time understanding her answers, a task reading her lips to know her words. I watch her mouth now, train my eyes on them so I may know things, so I might learn. “Speak slowly please. I can’t hear you see,” I explain why my eyes drill holes at the end of her nose, my eyes don’t even flick up at her own as I reveal this knowledge- I might miss something said.

{TIOGA}

khaos x wichita

You were automatic, as hollow as the 'o' in God.

My eyes, coppery things as they are, are heavy as they fall on her. Reminiscent of two pennies sinking to the bottom of a wishing well, lazily swaying back and forth before they settle on the bottom. I am awake but I am tired, less my soul is. It felt like a weight against my skin today but only because I am thirsty and have yet to stop for drink. I set out to achieve something, to make my way in life against all odds and I had chosen the most difficult path. Difficult but not impossible. He’d not have the best of me, if the soiled creatures of this earth could thrive there,well then, so could I. I am no delicate flower, deaf or otherwise.

The other’s eyes fall to the earth and I follow, straining to see her lips that might as well bury themselves in the ground. I shift my weight, stretching my head and neck lower to see before she pops her own up again. Repetition of her previous statement on her smokey lips. Sorry, but of course. I shake my head at the nonsense, no need for all that, “S’okay” I say plainly, shooing her formalities aside. Proper protocol only got you so far in the world and often enough they were as brief and intangible as the breath spent to say them. Words are wind.

No others, my ears fall in response though they have made out no such noise that she speaks. My eyes find the words that my ears do not and they fall flat, splayed and saddened for her admittance. I myself don’t have many others but I have them, even if they stayed behind on the Mountain. I knew where they were at the very least, I knew they were okay, I knew I had someone to worry and care for. “I see,” I say and pause for several beats. “My own others stayed behind, suit themselves. If you need a place though, I’d welcome you to mine.” Mine, well, it was as good as mine too, even if I was sharing with heathens. “It’s not the nicest place but I’ve made up my mind to carry on there.” I try to give her a hopeful smile, even if she doesn’t come she would have a friend in me. She would have an other and she would know that I am safe and well.

{TIOGA}

khaos x wichita