"But the dream, the echo, slips from him as quickly as he had found it and as consciousness comes to him (a slap and not the gentle waves of oceanic tides), it dissolves entirely. His muscles relax as the cold claims him again, as the numbness sets in, and when his grey eyes open, there’s nothing but the faint after burn of a dream often trod and never remembered." --Brigade, written by Laura
The last year, although stained with sorrow and heart-wrenching reunions, has also been one of immense joy. Perhaps more than she has ever felt. Living here with Vulgaris has been more than she could ever have asked for—more than she could have ever imagined. She no longer frets about that which he withholds, even though she always hungers for more, for whatever he has to give. Instead, she has learned to appreciate the stability that he brings her life, the excitement, the fresh wave of love that rises in her throat whenever he pulls her close. She has spent the year falling for him, over and over again, the sides of her belly swelling with the proof of that love. She has grown content in her pregnancy, awash with a glow that radiates over him and their little girl, this little family that they have begun to create.
Over the last few days, she has begun to feel changes within her, signals to the upcoming birth.
She has stopped traveling as much, keeping to the safe places where she can rest her head, where she can rest when it exhausts her too much. She is there now when the first pains hit, her stomach beginning its rhythmic clenching as the moon reaches its crest. She calls for Vulgaris, the sound throaty and calm, her healing already beginning to pool around and through her. It soothes her, pressing a cool cloth to a fevered brow, and she calls on it now—the golden light of it lacing through her as she brings their girl into the world. She heals herself as she goes, intent on making the world a beautiful, welcoming place, and because of it, it. is an unusually calm birth, beautiful and simple and relatively short-lived.
Her neck is slick with the effort, but her face is serene when she is finally able to turn around and reach for their child, breaking through and watching as the child takes her first gasping breath. The child is damp with birth and her scales shimmer in the milky light of midnight. Leliana’s heart swells in her chest as she recognizes that the girl is the spitting image of her father, serpentine and elegant, and she cries out softly as she reaches for her, worrying over the puffs of hair. It’s everything she could have ever wanted.
Everything.
Leliana is unable to suppress the joy that lights up her face as she watches the little girl begin to climb to her feet, wobbly and unsure, and she looks for Vulgaris. “I love you,” the confession escapes her, swells in her until she’s laughing and shaking her head, a single tear of joy falling down her cheek. “I love you, and I am so happy, Vulgaris.” She leans down to press a kiss to their daughter’s perfect forehead.
“Thank you. Thank you for giving me this.”
it started with a perfect kiss, then we could feel the poison set in
" when she's coming for my heart it feels like armageddon. "
He’s never been much of a parent and, truth be told, he only knows the name of one of his children to date. The thought has wormed its way into his head and he finds himself idly tracing the sharp edges of his shame in his free time. As the winter subsides, however, he finds himself pacing along the borders uncomfortably. The scales along his face have already shed in favor of the new year’s skin but his shoulders still hold tight to the dried husk trying to free itself. The iridescent scales shimmer in the setting sun while he drags his side along a gnarled tree, itching himself free of a little more winter skin. A rough sigh escapes him and it is almost a growl by the sound of it.
He glances back toward the heart of Loess, watching its residents mill about until the dark of night sweeps over them. Leliana hasn’t come to kiss his face this time and he grows concerned. Perhaps she is too tired, he tells himself to ease his troubled mind. Carrying their child took so much out of her some days and he didn’t want to keep her from her rest – a fact he’d told her a hundred times when she came to wish him good night. But all he got in response from her was a sweet laugh and a shake of her beautiful head.
He lifts his head at the sound of his name and his legs are hurrying forward without conscious thought. Her voice had been so at ease but his heart is in his throat all the same. Vulgaris finds her curled up with contractions working through her every muscle but he trusts that she’ll be alright. He lowers his head and presses his lips to her temple when their daughter arrives in a bundle of legs and a scrawny torso. For a moment, he is scared to look at her, scared to know the face of the baby he’s waited so patiently for. But Leliana cannot wait a second longer to greet the newborn girl and the sound of first breaths reaches his ears.
If he had thought he loved her before, he was a fool.
Vulgaris turns to stare at the little thing as she climbs up all clumsy and in awe of the world around her. She’s got the same color as her mother but he can see her own scales glimmering beneath the moon now. On her, it seems less like a curse and more like a treasure. Adna is blinking with eyes that mirror his own and he wonders how he could ever think he knew the depths of love before this moment. Before he would have set the world on fire just the watch the flames light up Leliana’s eyes but now he understands why his father tried to put everything back together.
“I love you, Leliana. I love you so much,” he mutters as he leans down to Adna’s height. “You are my sun and my rain – everything I need.”
He moves so slowly, as if one wrong step and their daughter will shatter. It feels like centuries crawl past before he touches his face to hers. The feeling of her tiny breath against his nose makes him smile and close his eyes. What a strange mirror they form, him with his scars and his angry teeth while Adna is perfect and soft around all her edges. Leliana and their child are the culmination of all that is right in the world, he thinks. Perfection given form.
Her heart nearly bursts in her chest at the moment, the sweetness of it bubbling in her.
She watches as their daughter—their beautiful, precious baby girl—begins to stand, stubbornly fighting her limbs to get them underneath her. She is glorious in this moment, perfect in every way, her too long legs trembling as she finds the strength to keep herself aloft, her reptilian eyes wide and blinking as she takes in the sight of her father. Leliana exhales softly, not wanting to disrupt this moment. Their daughter is curious and bright, reaching her tiny nose upward and breathing in Vulgaris’ scent. Their little girl snorts and then laughs at the sound of it, and Leliana could burst with the pride that swells within her.
Whatever she had thought this moment would be, Leliana never could have dreamt of this.
Soon, Leliana is nickering to their child, drawing her closer to her and urging her to nurse. When she feels her latch on, the barest hint of fang, she takes a steadying breath, a liquid warmth pooling in her belly. This was everything she was made to do—everything she was made to be. Everything in her life had been leading to this singular moment, this cocoon of peace where she can feel nothing but the cool spring breeze down her back, hear the hungry suckling of her newborn daughter, and see the handsome face of a man who has assuredly taken her heart watching over them all. The smile that curves Leliana’s mouth is soft, serene, and perfectly content, drinking in this moment for everything that it has to offer.
“What do you think we should name her?” she whispers quietly to Vulgaris, soft enough that he could hear but not so loud as to disturb the child filling her belly. Then, a soft sigh, her eyes closing as she fights the exhaustion that winds through her, a hum beginning to build in her throat. “She’s perfect, isn’t she?” She reaches for him then, wanting to feel his warmth around her, wanting to press her cheek to his broad chest and hear the steady thrumming of his heartbeat and know that she was home.
but there you go again, turning golden, right there in front of me
" when she's coming for my heart it feels like armageddon. "
The sound of her laughter brings him a sense of peace that he has not known before this moment. Leliana had offered it up to him on a silver platter, of course, but he had shied away from it back then. (It had been too great, too glorious for him to even lay his eyes on it.) Adna forces it upon him with the most minimal effort, fills him with serenity that leaves a smile even as she hides her face beneath her mother. He exhales slowly and then brings his eyes to meet hers when she speaks to him. Their child’s name had honestly never even occurred to him. Before now, it felt like a dream and giving her a name would have cursed it into never becoming a reality. But now the day has come and the girl is truly here – perfect and beautiful in every way.
“I have no idea. Is there a name good enough for her?,” he asks with an embarrassed laugh. How could a parent not even have a name for their precious heir? “You brought her into this world. You name her whatever you think is best.”
And then he’s pressing his cheek to hers, feeling the weak resistance of her tired muscles when he kisses his lips to her skin. Motherhood suits her and he’s silently thankful for this moment of paradise. The warmth of it stirs all those tender, delicate pieces of him to the surface where they can gasp for air for a while. These are all the vulnerable parts of him that Leliana has tried to reach for so long, all laid out for her to take at her leisure. His heart rests on the very surface of him, raw and bruised but waiting for her all the same.
More and more, this begins to feel like home and maybe this is salvation for him. But deep down he knows he doesn’t deserve this sort of joy. He was born to hurt just as Leliana was born to mother the perfect daughter.
Still, he’s willing to try his hand at being decent for them.
Perhaps this is everything that was meant to happen.
Perhaps this was finally her reward for a life of heartache, a life that has wrung her dry.
She sighs as he lays kisses into her, a soft hum of pleasure in her throat. “Careful,” she breathes, hazel eyes opening, soft with all of her love for him. “Or we will have two of them before you know it.” The humor causes the edges of her lips to curve upward in a rare, mischievous smile as she leans over to tug on his forelock, overwhelmed by the depth of her feelings for him. She never would have thought that it was possible to feel this way again. She never thought she could be swept away like this again.
But then there was him.
And he was everything.
She winces slightly as Adna readjusts but then settles again as the suckling continues, the hungry baby satiating herself. “Oh, I don’t really think anything will be quite good enough for her,” she admits, her heart already completely overtaken by the green-eyed baby snake, “but we can certainly try.” She doesn’t know how to tell him how her the gravity in her heart has shifted. It already did when she met Vulgaris, the columns within her moving to fold around him, but now—oh, now. Everything is different.
“I do have one name I’ve been thinking about,” she admits, exhaling as their baby girl finishes feeding and then stumbles milk-drunk up toward them, leaning against their chests with a sleepy grin. Leliana leans down to brush her lips against Adna’s scaled forehead, smiling into their daughter. She could only hope that Vulgaris saw how much of him resided within their girl, how much she already adored him, the little snake girl looking up with idolizing eyes at the father she would always hope to emulate.
“What do you think of Adna?”
but there you go again, turning golden, right there in front of me
09-28-2018, 10:37 AM (This post was last modified: 09-28-2018, 10:49 AM by vulgaris.)
Vulgaris
He can remember the day Darking left Cellar in his herdlands. She was all knees and terrified doe eyes, staring up at him like he might crush the life from her at any moment. Vulgaris had sculpted her into something terrible and then shipped her off to the highest bidder, back then. It became too tiresome to watch her empty face following him around like some terrible shadow. He hasn’t the faintest idea where she is now or if she’s alright. He doesn’t even know he’s a grandfather by now. Still, seeing their daughter and the way her eyes light up when she looks at him, he wants to try again. He wants to be the father that a baby like her deserves.
Leliana speaks while his lips map the most delicate parts of her skin and the corners of his lips form a lazy sort of smile. Would it be so terrible to want another just like her? But he doesn’t dwell on the idea for the time being, not while she’s still so exhausted from their daughter’s birth. He can try to win her over on the idea next autumn. Vulgaris lifts his head from the trail of joyful kisses he’s laced across her when she begins to offer up a name.
Adna. The name is gospel coming from her lips and he leans his head down to brush his nose across the girl’s red scales. Their Adna.
“I think she’s everything I’ve ever wanted,” he says as he kisses the tiny bridge of her nose. Had he ever been so small as her? He can’t recall, but his father had told him all about the day he was born. Vulgaris entered the world black as night like Larva had, and his father before him. They were a vast succession of failures that all greyed out into something swearing it was pure and white. Liars, the lot of them. But now his heir is different, a girl as red as her mother. Sure, she’s got his eyes and the harsh features of his face, but it’s Leliana’s love and hope smiling up at him.
“You are perfect in every way, Adna,” he says as he watches her. Maybe she’ll get the wrong idea and grow up spoiled, but how could he tell her otherwise? She’s the summation of everything he’s ever found beautiful in this world.
" ancient language, speak through fingers. the awful edges where you end and i begin. "
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