I think I was blind before I met you; vulgaris - Printable Version +- Beqanna (https://beqanna.com/forum) +-- Forum: OOC (https://beqanna.com/forum/forumdisplay.php?fid=24) +--- Forum: Archive (https://beqanna.com/forum/forumdisplay.php?fid=81) +---- Forum: Lands (https://beqanna.com/forum/forumdisplay.php?fid=98) +----- Forum: Loess (https://beqanna.com/forum/forumdisplay.php?fid=88) +----- Thread: I think I was blind before I met you; vulgaris (/showthread.php?tid=20840) |
I think I was blind before I met you; vulgaris - leliana - 09-19-2018 it started with a perfect kiss, then we could feel the poison set in @[vulgaris] RE: I think I was blind before I met you; vulgaris - vulgaris - 09-20-2018 Vulgaris
He’s never been much of a parent and, truth be told, he only knows the name of one of his children to date. The thought has wormed its way into his head and he finds himself idly tracing the sharp edges of his shame in his free time. As the winter subsides, however, he finds himself pacing along the borders uncomfortably. The scales along his face have already shed in favor of the new year’s skin but his shoulders still hold tight to the dried husk trying to free itself. The iridescent scales shimmer in the setting sun while he drags his side along a gnarled tree, itching himself free of a little more winter skin. A rough sigh escapes him and it is almost a growl by the sound of it. He glances back toward the heart of Loess, watching its residents mill about until the dark of night sweeps over them. Leliana hasn’t come to kiss his face this time and he grows concerned. Perhaps she is too tired, he tells himself to ease his troubled mind. Carrying their child took so much out of her some days and he didn’t want to keep her from her rest – a fact he’d told her a hundred times when she came to wish him good night. But all he got in response from her was a sweet laugh and a shake of her beautiful head. He lifts his head at the sound of his name and his legs are hurrying forward without conscious thought. Her voice had been so at ease but his heart is in his throat all the same. Vulgaris finds her curled up with contractions working through her every muscle but he trusts that she’ll be alright. He lowers his head and presses his lips to her temple when their daughter arrives in a bundle of legs and a scrawny torso. For a moment, he is scared to look at her, scared to know the face of the baby he’s waited so patiently for. But Leliana cannot wait a second longer to greet the newborn girl and the sound of first breaths reaches his ears. If he had thought he loved her before, he was a fool. Vulgaris turns to stare at the little thing as she climbs up all clumsy and in awe of the world around her. She’s got the same color as her mother but he can see her own scales glimmering beneath the moon now. On her, it seems less like a curse and more like a treasure. Adna is blinking with eyes that mirror his own and he wonders how he could ever think he knew the depths of love before this moment. Before he would have set the world on fire just the watch the flames light up Leliana’s eyes but now he understands why his father tried to put everything back together. “I love you, Leliana. I love you so much,” he mutters as he leans down to Adna’s height. “You are my sun and my rain – everything I need.” He moves so slowly, as if one wrong step and their daughter will shatter. It feels like centuries crawl past before he touches his face to hers. The feeling of her tiny breath against his nose makes him smile and close his eyes. What a strange mirror they form, him with his scars and his angry teeth while Adna is perfect and soft around all her edges. Leliana and their child are the culmination of all that is right in the world, he thinks. Perfection given form. RE: I think I was blind before I met you; vulgaris - leliana - 09-21-2018 Leliana but there you go again, turning golden, right there in front of me she needed happy html for this. <3 @[vulgaris] RE: I think I was blind before I met you; vulgaris - vulgaris - 09-24-2018 Vulgaris
The sound of her laughter brings him a sense of peace that he has not known before this moment. Leliana had offered it up to him on a silver platter, of course, but he had shied away from it back then. (It had been too great, too glorious for him to even lay his eyes on it.) Adna forces it upon him with the most minimal effort, fills him with serenity that leaves a smile even as she hides her face beneath her mother. He exhales slowly and then brings his eyes to meet hers when she speaks to him. Their child’s name had honestly never even occurred to him. Before now, it felt like a dream and giving her a name would have cursed it into never becoming a reality. But now the day has come and the girl is truly here – perfect and beautiful in every way. “I have no idea. Is there a name good enough for her?,” he asks with an embarrassed laugh. How could a parent not even have a name for their precious heir? “You brought her into this world. You name her whatever you think is best.” And then he’s pressing his cheek to hers, feeling the weak resistance of her tired muscles when he kisses his lips to her skin. Motherhood suits her and he’s silently thankful for this moment of paradise. The warmth of it stirs all those tender, delicate pieces of him to the surface where they can gasp for air for a while. These are all the vulnerable parts of him that Leliana has tried to reach for so long, all laid out for her to take at her leisure. His heart rests on the very surface of him, raw and bruised but waiting for her all the same. More and more, this begins to feel like home and maybe this is salvation for him. But deep down he knows he doesn’t deserve this sort of joy. He was born to hurt just as Leliana was born to mother the perfect daughter. Still, he’s willing to try his hand at being decent for them. RE: I think I was blind before I met you; vulgaris - leliana - 09-25-2018 Leliana but there you go again, turning golden, right there in front of me @[vulgaris] RE: I think I was blind before I met you; vulgaris - vulgaris - 09-28-2018 Vulgaris
He can remember the day Darking left Cellar in his herdlands. She was all knees and terrified doe eyes, staring up at him like he might crush the life from her at any moment. Vulgaris had sculpted her into something terrible and then shipped her off to the highest bidder, back then. It became too tiresome to watch her empty face following him around like some terrible shadow. He hasn’t the faintest idea where she is now or if she’s alright. He doesn’t even know he’s a grandfather by now. Still, seeing their daughter and the way her eyes light up when she looks at him, he wants to try again. He wants to be the father that a baby like her deserves.
Leliana speaks while his lips map the most delicate parts of her skin and the corners of his lips form a lazy sort of smile. Would it be so terrible to want another just like her? But he doesn’t dwell on the idea for the time being, not while she’s still so exhausted from their daughter’s birth. He can try to win her over on the idea next autumn. Vulgaris lifts his head from the trail of joyful kisses he’s laced across her when she begins to offer up a name. Adna. The name is gospel coming from her lips and he leans his head down to brush his nose across the girl’s red scales. Their Adna. “I think she’s everything I’ve ever wanted,” he says as he kisses the tiny bridge of her nose. Had he ever been so small as her? He can’t recall, but his father had told him all about the day he was born. Vulgaris entered the world black as night like Larva had, and his father before him. They were a vast succession of failures that all greyed out into something swearing it was pure and white. Liars, the lot of them. But now his heir is different, a girl as red as her mother. Sure, she’s got his eyes and the harsh features of his face, but it’s Leliana’s love and hope smiling up at him. “You are perfect in every way, Adna,” he says as he watches her. Maybe she’ll get the wrong idea and grow up spoiled, but how could he tell her otherwise? She’s the summation of everything he’s ever found beautiful in this world. " ancient language, speak through fingers. the awful edges where you end and i begin. " |