08-30-2018, 02:35 AM
Vulgaris
His father tried to sew some kind of light into him when he was still a small child. The tired old king tried to weave what little kindness he had to offer into their lives and show him that life was more than blood and pain. Anger was always so much easier, though. Why settle arguments and find compromise with your neighbor when you could just chew his spine from his body and take all that was his? He tried so hard to even comprehend those feather soft emotions and the warmth of goodness but all those delicate things could never take root in him. The sun never shines on his face.
He lifts his gaze to match hers when she pulls back to watch him. Something deep within begins to coil, twisting and waiting with feral eyes as she commands him. Promises come falling from her lips and he knows that she believes every word she says. But she is not a confessional; she cannot be the place he comes to bury all his demons. This is his cross to bear and he knows this all too well, so he says nothing in response.
She says she’s been to hell before and his lips part to bare his teeth at the thought. He brushes his nose across her cheek as a low growl rumbles, primordial and burning hot, from his throat. “Do you want me to hunt them? I could make them pay,” he says without thinking. The point of what she says is lost on him and all he hears is that someone has hurt her in the past. Always, Vulgaris thinks to pry desperate apologies from others rather than to wait for their guilt to settle in. He believes his enemies should be made to feel tearful remorse and then have hope crumble to dust before them. What other way could there be than this?
Leliana kisses him and vows not to change him just like he had dared to hope she would. He breathes a slow sigh against her soft skin and still the hunger does not come to darken his door. Maybe he can’t learn to be some light in the darkness, but he wants to make a home for her within him. Someplace safe where at least she can find refuge from the cruelty of the world around them. Could some fraction of softness be enough for her, he wonders? Would it ever be enough to make her stay?
“I was never afraid until I met you. Now I’m terrified,” he confesses against her ear. And it’s the truth. He’s scared of losing her, of losing their unborn child. He’d nearly forgotten the tiny life within Leliana and the realization sends his heart crashing against his ribs like it wants to escape. They’re going to be a family.
But then she’s said the word he’s been dodging from the moment he saw her and somehow speaking its name has made it real for him. He takes a deep breath as he stands on the edge of now and eternity. It’s time to take the leap, he supposes.
“I need you. I love you, now and forever,” he says as he kisses at the corner of her jaw. There's something desperate in the way he tastes her skin and his breath grows ragged against her.