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  • Beqanna

    COTY

    Assailant -- Year 226

    QOTY

    "But the dream, the echo, slips from him as quickly as he had found it and as consciousness comes to him (a slap and not the gentle waves of oceanic tides), it dissolves entirely. His muscles relax as the cold claims him again, as the numbness sets in, and when his grey eyes open, there’s nothing but the faint after burn of a dream often trod and never remembered." --Brigade, written by Laura


    Archam
    #1
    @[Nicole]
    Like we talked about in PM, a mock ^^. If you'd like to alter the rules I set below, please let me know! Smile We can always discuss them.

    Two posts each, Archam goes first.
    Up to two attacks or counter attacks per post.
    No complete dodges.
    Five days between posts, extensions allowed.

    Let's settle the max word count at around 600? Less is always okay.


    Brynmor
    Welsh Cob hybrid
    14.2 hh
    Stallion
    Gray (black base)
    No traits

    Please posts Archam's stats in your first post Smile
    #2
    Archam
    Warlander
    17 hh
    Bay Roan
    No traits

    all of us have a hero and a villain in us

    The broad stallion was always finding himself in trouble, his arrogant attitude led him a life of arguments. He could not find it in himself to back down in an argument in fact he would often times instigate them. That is where he found himself today, ready for a fight, in fact he was looking forward to this battle as it has been a while since he was in one.. He looked at the gray stag before him, he was much smaller in size compared to Archam, although size was not everything. Archam had learned that when he was younger in age, and cockier than he should have been. He knew to watch out as the ponies were fast and harder to strike with the size difference.

    Archam gave a snort in anger, his eyes showed fury. He was slowly dancing around the pony, thrashing his head around showing he meant business. It appeared as the stag before him was waiting for Archam to initiate the fight, and he had no problem doing so. He stood to a halt and launched his front legs into the air, standing on his hind legs he buckled his front knees and swayed his legs back and forth in a punching motion, he gave a loud whinny, enough to echo in plains around them. He came flying down attempting to hit the horse in the neck with one of his hooves. Slamming down on the ground, ripping the grass beneath him up only to leave the moist mud hidden beneath.

    After landing Archam quickly turned to the right attempting to dodge any possible moves to come from the pony. It was nice to see a horse in these lands that did not have wings, or horns, or powers beyond him. This fight would prove to be fair, and Archam only hoped to come out on top. The stag lunged back in approaching the stag again, this time he quickly threw his head towards the stallions stomach, hoping to rip a chunk of flesh off. He stomped his left hoof on the ground throwing grass shards everywhere. He backed up waiting to see the damage he had done. His heart was now beating, the adrenaline was running and he wanted to tear this pony apart.

    archam


    i tried! hope it was decent!
    @[Brynmor]
    #3
    Brynmor

    "With my speechless calm eyes."

    He honestly didn’t know what he had done to earn the big stallion’s anger, but he clearly had done something wrong in the stranger’s eyes. This challenge, mock battle, should have been to practise, not to fight out some held grudge. A grudge that he didn’t know anything about. And he’s clearly in a disadvantage. His opponent was taller, much taller, and more muscular too. Brynmor had only recently starting training due to his former blindness and although his lineage had provided him quite a stocky build, it was nothing compared to the roan Warlander stallion. Yet he would probably have an advantage when it came to agility and speed, after all, he was less heavy and had a more sporty build.

    It was a combination of the stranger’s anger and impressive appearance that made him hesitant. Turning around Brynmor kept his eyes on the stranger, never letting the massive male get out of sight by sidestepping and turning around his center. During the short moment the bay roan stood still he recognizes the other’s strike just before it happens. The tall male made himself even taller by rearing, and the graying warrior – or wannabe warrior – is only just able to avoid the first attack. The strike, which was aimed at his neck, only grazes his shoulder, only leaving a superficial wound on his shoulder. When aimed right that strike could’ve broken his bones.

    Before Archam is able to turn away Brynmor raises himself up into the air, putting his weight on both his hindquarters as he rears, and just around the moment the taller stallion moves back to the ground again. His teeth are bared, aiming to sink in the big roan’s throat while his front legs reach out to clamp around the said male’s neck. He doesn’t keep himself up in the air long, aware of the fact that his vulnerable belly was easy to strike at while rearing. Just as quickly as he had been able to push himself up he’s down again, turning around on his hind legs to create some distance between them.

    However, he isn’t given time to collect himself. As the gray male moves backwards, the bay roan moves forward. Archam aims for his side, teeth bared and ready to rip his flesh off. Pushing his ears further into his neck he turns his back toward the taller male, keeping his weight upon his front legs so he’s able to kick his hind legs out quickly. As his hooves leave the ground he feels the teeth digging into the flesh of his hindquarters, ripping skin and pulling out hair. Brynmor let a pained grunt leave his lips, feeling the aching of both his shoulder and hindquarters as he aims to kick his opponent’s chest with full force.

    Once his hooves land on the ground again, digging into the moist ground, he takes off. His tact is off, his movement strained by the wound upon his shoulder. Even though it had only been a scratch, his muckles bruised and aching. Brynmor turns to look at Archam again, chest rising and falling as he pants, while blood paints his gray coat red.

    "Nothing is coming to rise."

    #4

    all of us have a hero and a villain in us

    Archam was unexplainably angry; the anger was built inside of him, it’s hard to pretend to be a nice gentleman when all he wants to do his rip the hearts out of most equines he meets. This was supposed to be a mock battle for the two to learn although it has turned almost into a real fight as Archam was holding nothing back. Realizing what he was doing Archam calmed the fury inside of him, although he couldn’t back down now. Now he had to keep fighting how he was, projecting his anger off onto Brynmor the little pony in front of him.

    As Archam had landed from rearing the gray pony had lifted himself off the ground, slamming down the stag had bared his teeth aiming at Archams throat. He quickly realized the attacked and swayed himself to the right, although slightly to slow the pony was just a tad quicker than Archam. The pony had sunk his teeth into Archams shoulder, pulling a good chunk of meat from him. His shoulder muscle was now showing, and pain shocked through his whole body. His adrenaline kept him moving and able to push the pain from his mind.

    The stag looked upon the gray pony with joy as he had returned the pain to Brynmor ripping a chunk of meat out of his hind quarters. In that moment of glee Archam had not payed attention and the pony had kicked his strong little legs at Archams chest, it was too late to avoid the attack and it hit him directly in the chest. Archam was pushed back by the force and the fury had built up inside of him again. His anger forced him to lunge forward at the horse yet again, he was thrashing his head the anger was building more and more. What should he do next? The stag had questioned, his next move was risky for if the pony had managed to avoid the attack Archam could lose his balance and fall. He thrusted his large built body at the smaller pony, trying to clash his side against Brynmors side. If Archam was successful the pony should be shoved to the ground, the pure mass of Archam was more than Brymor had to offer. Archam could feel the wind closing in as his shoulder was aimed for the pony.

    archam

    #5
    Brynmor

    "With my speechless calm eyes."

    He isn’t given much time to collect himself, the heavy built stallion launches himself into Brynmor’s direction almost right away. He only has a split second to study Archam and although the other male seemed to have calmed down – he didn’t look as angry and murderous as before – he clearly isn’t backing down. That is something the graying male could only appreciate, but he wouldn’t let himself be blinded by it. He stands still as Archam comes closer as high speed, momentarily frozen.

    The ground shakes underneath his opponent’s hooves, the sound drumming off into the distance. The formerly blind stallion objects the idea of running, he wouldn’t be able to get far enough out of reach since his condition was too low, he would be too slow to avoid Archam. But that didn’t mean he couldn’t use his more agile built in advantage. Although the heavily panting and the burning of his flesh limits Brynmor in his movements, he attempts to move out of Archam’s way.

    He only moves when Archam is close to him, so he can make sure that it would be too late for the bigger male to adjust his own direction. Sidestepping Brynmor tries to avoid him, turning his hindquarters while his front legs stayed in approximately the same place, but once again he isn’t able to match up to Archam at full speed. Archam hits him around his flank. Their legs clash and Brynmor can feel the Warlander’s front knees slam against his left hind leg. The power of the impact causes him to lose his balance and has him stumbling sideward in an attempt to keep himself upon his feet, but not without aiming a second – one legged – kick in the bay roan’s direction. It wasn’t really the smartest thing to do, he would’ve gained his balance again faster if he wouldn’t have, but he might not be able to get this close to Archam again.

    The pony firmly pushed his front legs into the ground, spreading them slightly to have a better balance, to gain control over his movements again. Because of the power with which Archam bumped into him he had made an almost 360 degree turn (pirouette on front leg idea), and that meant he was now facing the Warlander’s from behind. Well, not entirely behind, he stood a little to Archam’s left side, but most importantly he stood quite close to his still going forward opponent. Not thinking twice Brynmor throw’s himself forward, not as fast as he had hoped because of bruised hind leg. He throws himself into the air, his hooves stretched to hit Archam’s hindquarters.

    Once again Brynmor retreats panting and as he realises that it’s over he feels the fatigue setting in. The blood still rushed through his veins, but slowly – as the adrenaline started to lose effect on him – the burning and pain get the upper hand. The gray’s head drops a little towards the ground and although his ears are still pressed back against his neck, he lets go of all other signs of aggression.

    "Nothing is coming to rise."




    OOC: Yes, first battle is done Smile. I'll ask for this to be judged. Thank you for training with me!
    #6
    Just as an FYI, since this is a mock battle and not an actual battle, any player can judge it or offer critique on it – it doesn’t have to be an officer Smile

    ARCHAM POST 1
    + comparison of size versus agility
    - is the rearing and punching an attack? It’s not really clear. Also, the wording with “swaying hooves back and forth” is difficult to picture –what exactly is archam doing?
    - where on the neck is he attacking? How far away is he from brynmor? What side of the neck is he aiming for? Why is he only trying to hit with one hoof? Needs much more detail.
    o there’s no point in dodging when an attack hasn’t even been made - what if brynmor were to attack to the right? Then your dodge would do exactly the opposite of what its intended to do
    - what is “lunged back in approach? Is he not still standing directly beside brynmor, but turning to the right? Needs more detail/explanation
    - again, what side is he attacking? Presumably the same side as before? Where on the stomach?
    - horse teeth are not sharp enough to rip off a chunk of flesh
    + backing up to distance himself

    BRYNMOR POST 1
    + comparison of size, training, agility
    + keeping archam in his line of sight
    - how does he avoid the strike? Presumably sidestepping, based on where it lands, but explain that
    - wrapping a leg over a horse that is 8.5 inches taller is not an easy thing to extricate from – also what damage does he intend to do by biting down on archam’s throat? Horse teeth can’t hold on long enough to cut off air and aren’t sharp enough to tear
    - which way did he turn, when getting away? Describe more
    + good counterattack
    + good running away to distance himself

    ARCHAM POST 2
    + took attack well
    - again, horse teeth are not sharp, and they lack the jaw strength required to rip flesh off other horses
    + good taking of second attack
    - No mention of how it affects him, he just charges forward – getting kicked in the chest is going to hamper him for at least a little while
    + good second attack, using his larger size
    - what shoulder is he aiming at brynmor? What side is he attack? where on brynmor’s body? Describe more

    BRYNMOR POST 2
    - Archam is running after Brynmor kicks him in the chest, so there is no turning to wait. you did write him as turning, but need to modify his positon based on the actios of the reply
    + good taking of attack, despite incorrect positioning
    - Kicking with the back leg at a horse facing the opposite direction isn’t going to land
    + good description of position and second attack

    Overall comments: You both could use a lot more description. Where exactly are you aiming? Why? What will be the result? Detail detail detail! Keep in mind that you need to modify your posts based on the other’s actions, even if you wrote something that now contradicts itself. Change is good. Remember –horse teeth are not capable of ripping flesh

    Scores
    Archam: + - - o - - - + + - + - + - (-3)
    Brynmor: + + - - - + + - + - + (1)
    Winner: Brynmor




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