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  • Beqanna

    COTY

    Assailant -- Year 226

    QOTY

    "But the dream, the echo, slips from him as quickly as he had found it and as consciousness comes to him (a slap and not the gentle waves of oceanic tides), it dissolves entirely. His muscles relax as the cold claims him again, as the numbness sets in, and when his grey eyes open, there’s nothing but the faint after burn of a dream often trod and never remembered." --Brigade, written by Laura


    And so the fire dies
    #1

    WATCH THE FLAMES CLIMB HIGH INTO THE NIGHT

    There are parts of her that want to live; there are parts of everyone that want to live. She sees hope in the light of the morning and in the twinkle of the stars at night; she finds love in the eyes of Vi, Sarkis and Hestoni. Of strength, she finds plenty; the jungle patronus visits her occasionally, the animals hum around her rapidly aging body, and the sisters are ever present, and ever searching for her Volcan. And though she finds support in her husband and community, there are some variables which have suddenly become constants.

    Having passed the crown from her noble head to Lagertha’s, the immortality also passed from fire to iron. Since then, the years spent paused in immortality have rushed to her (to her bones, her lung, her joints, her senses). With each sunrise comes a newfound plague of her aging body, which she largely ignores in her pigheadedness. Vi and Sarkis offer her small solace, distracting her with their rambunctious games or simply their silent presence when they see her wince in pain. Of Volcan, they speak not; for children, they are disturbingly aware of the glass Scorch stands on.

    To Hestoni, however, she constantly goes. It is her red titan who she clings to, dawn and dusk, thick or thin, death or life. He, too, has begun to age with her; she sees it in the way his brown eyes melt more easily, hears it in his croaking voice, feels it in his gentle touch. His salt-and-blood muzzle is her favourite place to be; his crumbling fortress of a body is a comforting echo of her own. Together, they walk through the uncertainty. Together, they live until their last.

    Shuddering words pass between the lovers occasionally; questions of where and when and will you come with me? Sometimes, Scorch cries. She’s always been a crier, though. Some might not believe it, but many have witnessed it; Hestoni especially. Remember when I was first crowned? She asks him in the calm of night. Remember when we met in the meadow? She asks him in broad daylight. Remember when we made Noori and Kaida and all the rest? She asks him when all was quiet. Remember the first time I said I love you and called you Hestoni? She asks him when all was loud. Remember when you sold yourself to Carnage for my happiness? She asks him through tearful eyes. Remember when you murdered to be with me again? She asks him through a cheeky grin. Remember when…

    She remembers.

    In the end, there are no decisions. Everything comes naturally; they’ve wandered achingly slowly to the birth place of nearly all their children. The bushes of the thicket brush against her hairless skin like a mother’s caress, though she has never truly known one. Hestoni stands beside her, all bones and fire and magnificence, a nostalgic image of that handsome man who first tormented her in the meadow. And she stands beside him, all skin and fire and powerful, an echo of the warrioress who won the heart of the Jungle.

    She lays down first, the weight of herself paining her every joint. She’s not sure when he joins her, but they lay together in their thicket where many little hooves have stomped. Scorch talks of Rain and of Volcan, then of each child in turn. She presses into him, tears running from eye to earth. She whispers her pity for him, for in his old age he may not see perfectly; and still her dragon eyes allow her one last glimpse of her one true love. She mumbles of how she needs him closer and closer, of how she’s never loved as she loves now. They’re in the clutches of death and as time wears on, she accepts this, and the tears cease.

    “Ti amo il mio Titano; Sarò in attesa sul lato opposto.”

    The rest of her journey is silent.

    ---

    Hestoni: My sun and stars, how I have loved you like none other. You came to me during my worst and rose with me to my best. We created a family I never imagined having, and ruled a kingdom side by side. You are my titan, my shield, and my best friend; you were manservant once, and husband forever. We may never be remembered in the minds of many, but as long as I am upon your conscience and you upon mine, all else is meaningless. I love you.

    Echion: You made my life hell and I’m sure you’ll make my afterlife hell, too. I deserve it for bringing you back from the dead I suppose. In the end though, I have to thank you for everything – all I can hope for now is that I truly made you proud.

    Arcteryx: I never had the misfortune of meeting you, if you’re anything like mom. I guess that’s about to change though, huh?

    Katriel: You passed before I knew our relation; maybe it was simpler that way. Errant put in some good words about you; I genuinely hope they’re true.

    Noori: I’m sorry. Your father and I did wrong to you and Kaida; we were first time parents and barely adults. Please do better with your children, and do not follow my example. I love you, baby girl.

    Kaida: Again, I’m sorry. I had the opportunity to fix things and I only pushed you further away. Please don’t do as I have done with your twins; they need their mother. Perhaps someday we will see eye to eye; for now, goodbye and I love you.

    Rain: My darling, I wish to have met you and raised you in the true life; but to hear your voice and pull you in close now will be my eternal joy.

    Simeon: I did right by you, son. Perhaps not always, perhaps not by pushing and pulling you like a pawn; but I loved you properly, or at least I tried to. Go now and do as you will; forget what your mother told you. Now is your time. And no matter what, you made me proud.

    Shahrizai: My lackadaisical and tailless boy, how you warm my heart with your cheesy grins and spontaneous visits. It pains me knowing we won’t have that any more. Please, watch out for your siblings; they haven’t any parents left to guide them, and you are whom I entrust them to. Farewell, love.

    Ea: I shipped you off to the Dale, and how I regret it. You inherited parts of me that none others have, but not the fire or the drive. I ought to have enjoyed your childhood, but now you are grown and perhaps you resent me for the way I pushed you. I’m sorry, darling. Forgive me.

    Leiland: My special sir, how you touched my heart. You stood by my side much as Hestoni did, even through my errors and misgivings. Go now and do as you will without me on your conscience; grow tall and strong and do well in life for me. I love you, my dearest.

    Wrynn: Oh sweet heart, I’m sorry for how I initially treated you. Camrynn may have intervened but I love you, bay coat and crazy eyes and all. Be careful with yourself, you are too naïve for your own good, and the voices in your head might not always help. But trust me on this if you’ve ever trusted me on anything: I will be one of those voices, and I will never stop cheering for you.

    Sarkis: Never stop befriending the animals, baby girl. Never stop smelling the sneezy flowers or questioning the way things are or being the bubbly child I raised and adored. Go and make a name for yourself and continue my legend in whichever way your heart desires... Please be okay. I know you’ll take this hardest.

    Vi: I’m so sorry I won’t be here to raise you. I’m sorry you were born into the chaos of my ending. I’m sorry that you may never know your twin. But please go on without me. When all else fails, Wrynn will connect you to me, and your nephew Nihlus will take you to me. Visit when you can; I love you.

    Volcan: Wherever you are, my child, please be safe. I’ll never stop searching for you.

    Lagertha: I really did fucking hate you there for a little while there, especially when I tried to fix everything and you just stomped on what was already pretty dead. In the end though, you deserved the crown and I don’t regret giving it to you. You are my sister, and whether you like it or not, my friend.

    Malka: Oh my dear quetzal friend, how you’ve helped me through many a snare and trouble. The perch of my whither is going to be lonely without you resting on it. I don’t mean to say “go kill yourself,” but hurry up a little and get down here so I have my best friend back okay? I miss you already, shit head.

    Rhy: I only really liked you because you’re Kag’s granddaughter – just kidding. There’s not many I call friend alongside sister, but you are one. Thank you for everything; and please, do visit. I’ll be mighty cantankerous if you don’t.

    Sunday: While rather absent, you were a loyal and true bloodrider. I’ll always remember recruiting you in the field; and considering how well off you are in the Jungle, I just might have to say you’re welcome. And that I’ll miss you.

    Kagerou: Well, you old hag, I’m finally coming to get you back for that time when you stabbed me with those ridiculous poison barbs. Really though, I’m nearly dancing to see you again and reminisce about old times – not that I would ever, ever dance. And hey, Kag? Thanks for taking care of Rain, and Kora too.

    Errant: It’s been a good run, brother. Sorry for what an asshole I was to you as a teenager, but you’re also welcome for getting you back on the throne. I kicked your ass back into gear and I better not see it break down again any time soon, especially with Lea back. Anyways, you’re the best brother I could have asked for… Thanks.

    Camrynn: Fuck you.

    Yael: I may have been absolutely awful to you at times, but secretly, I’ve always admired you and Vanquish; reminded me a lot of Hestoni and I. I’ll put in a good word for you when I get down there – not that Van could ever forget you. I certainly won’t.

    Crito: Brother! We grew up together and grew old together, from irresponsible brats (mostly me) to cheerful elders (mostly you). I’ll always have a soft spot for you my friend, even if that means attacking you with joy every time I set eyes on you. Please don’t make me wait long to do so again.

    Prague: We may not have started out on the right foot, but I just want to thank you for all your doing in my memory… Please, Prague. Find Volcan.

    Quark: You taught me control if you ever taught me anything. I wish I could have met with you one last time and apologized for how I acted; visit me sometime, if you feel up to it. It’s going to be quite lonely, being dead.

    Brunhild: I owe you. You entrusted me with the Jungle and even befriended me; some might say we would have gone well together, in an alternate universe. But in this world and life, thank you. I know you’re out there, Brunhild. Hopefully they’ll put in a good word for me.

    Myrina: Sister by faux-blood or oaths, you mean a shit ton to me. You understood my mourning better than everyone and comforted me when no one else could, even though in the past we hadn’t had the best track record. Thank you.

    The Jungle: You were and always have been my home, life, shelter, companion, guide and spouse. It kills me to leave you now after three decades of servitude; I can only hope that you fare well without me.

    My other Sisters: Thank you for supporting me during this last troubled year. I wouldn’t have been able to die with sanity and some smidgen of dignity hadn’t you been there for me. It’s been a long thirty years with some of you… I can only hope that I shan’t be forgotten. P.S: Please care for my children while they mourn... You're their family as much as I was. Farewell, Sisters.

    Scorch

    Khaleesi of the Amazon Jungle



    Here lies Scorch,
    Born March third 2013, deceased September twentieth 2015,
    Daughter of Echion Katriel and Arcteryx,
    Jungle Princess, General and Queen for thirty long years.
    Lover of Hestoni and only Hestoni,
    Mother to their many children.
    Friend of few; Kagerou and Malka most predominantly.
    Enemy of many; Camrynn and Lagertha to name only some.
    Having lived a long life of devotion and warriorhood,
    Scorch now lies eternally in the embrace of her lovers, both man and jungle.



    OOC: I don't know why I'm doing this to you, baby. You're my roughest toughest darling and I loved you for all thirty months of our being together. You'll live on in my heart and on the afterlife board, my hairless rat. Perhaps someday I'll have the honour of bringing you back to life; hell knows Beqanna will be listless without your fire. So long, my good friend.

    Please, before replying, allow Hestoni to reply. Afterwards, go crazy.
    [Image: scorch2.png]
    Reply
    #2
    press my nose up to the glass around your heart
    i should’ve known i was weaker from the start

    She weakens. His fire grows dimmer, her flames burning closer and closer to the point of extinguishing, her body decaying to a state of a corpse, her dragon eyes staring at everything and nothing. As she weakens, he weakens with her. His longevity with her can only last so long. As she relinquished the throne to Lagertha (honestly, the last person he would have thought his fire would give the throne to) he felt the Jungle’s magic in his bones fade away. It left behind a deep ache, a constant dull pain of age, a struggling heart, lungs that hurt to breathe air, senses that began to fade – as the magic swept away from his body, the effects of age took over at a startling rate.


    Where he once had been powerful and strong and muscular, he became nothing.

    That wasn’t true. He wasn’t ‘nothing.’ He was always something with her. Even if he wasn’t himself, she always made him into something. Together, they were something. Apart, he was something because of her. They were the embodiment of love through hardships. Their love was sharpened and strengthened and molded from the fire of life, from the tumbling rockslides of dark times, from the summer breezes of good times, from the fierce dependency when they relied on each other. They had crossed lands, they had traveled dimensions, and they had made sacrifices – all for each other’s love.

    If the once-titan knew anything, it was that they would suffer the final hurdle of life in the same way they jumped over every other hurdle – together.

    As they decline in their health (as their hearts pound a slow beat, as their lungs breathe a rattling draw, as their muscles ache from movement, as their joints creak with stiffness, as their stomachs refuse to cooperate, as their bodies slow in the dance of life) each finds comfort in the other. He loves her even as her body is whittled away like a woodcarver to his piece of wood. He loves her even as they find themselves moving less and less. He loves her even as his heart thumps louder and fiercer every time he hears her breathing still in the nighttime longer than the time before (only to hear it jump alive again). He loves her even as he spots the dark fingers of death looming closer with every passing hour.

    They stay together in the days close to their dying seconds. They remember together, each memory dancing through their elderly, nostalgic minds like a play. They say each of their ten children’s names, and then each of their six grandchildren’s names – putting personalities with names and names with faces. They remember good times. They remember bad times. They remember all the times in between. They fortify their love with soft touches between grizzled muzzle and dimmed fire. They say ‘I love you’ in the tongue of Beqanna and the tongue of their love. He makes sure she knows how much he loves her, how much he will always love her, how much he has loved her.

    When it is time (and he can feel it in the very marrow of his bones), they wander to the place where life has flourished. They move with beating hearts alike, with breathes perfectly in time, with shuffling steps taken like a dance – all toward the very place his fire had pushed all but two of their perfect children into the world. How suitable, he thinks, through the fog of knowing his death is approaching but also knowing he will die alongside her.

    His eyes have not failed him as much as he expected. She moves to lie on the Jungle’s ground, to breathe in the scent of sweet soil and growing things one last time, and he gazes upon her. Despite the decaying look of her wilting frame, he sees only the spunky fire he met in the meadow. He sees the way her dragon eyes flared when she told him to leave her alone – and the way they almost flickered with interest when he refused. He sees the way her curves spoke words to her in their times of openness and love. He sees the sharp way her ears pin back to anyone who refuses her, or the way they prick forward when he speaks. He sees the curve of her lips when she smiles at him. He sees the way her tattoos flamed with living fire, scalding her hairless body. He sees the way her steps caused her hips to swing in a way that made him wish to be trapped in that moment forever.

    Eventually, he moves to nestle next to her. Their bodies press close, and when she begs for him to be closer he wraps his neck around her, his shuddering breaths heaving warm air onto her chilled skin. He is not afraid. The titan had faced many frightening things in his lifetime – too many frightening things – and death is only another obstacle to get across. Only a few more moments of this aching, dark, painful life and he will be able to spend a blissful, eternal life with his love. Nonetheless, he isn’t afraid. He isn’t worried or desperate or insane. He is happy and calm and peaceful. He is with his fire – nothing can hurt him.

    She whispers her last words to him and he soaks them in. He holds them close to his chest, but is still quick to give his answer before her chest stills and her fiery soul leaves Beqanna. Ti amo molto, il mio fuoco. Ci vediamo presto. And then she breathes her last and he is left alone. It is scary, for a moment, when he feels the very things that make up her personality waft away like a leaf in the wind. But he knows he will join her soon, and he tries not to worry. He hugs her close in his final moment, feeling the leftover warmth of her body, and closes his eyes.

    He becomes everything and nothing.

    [***]

    Scorch: Where do I begin? You are the best thing that has ever happened to me. You are my light, my life, my heart, my love, my soul, my joy. A world without you is not a world at all. You bring me peace, turmoil, hope, excitement, nostalgia, warmth, love, joy, content. The things I feel for you – no song, no dance, no words, no poem – nothing I can think of in the entire world can express what I feel for you, my fire. I am so incredibly glad we are able to travel into this next eternity as we have done everything; together. ‘An excellent wife who can find? She is far more precious than jewels.’ I love you, my fire, now and forever.


    Jackel Lantern: I suppose I should say something about you, but I have nothing to say. I just hope I did a better job at fathering my children than you did.

    Glamour: I am ashamed to have called you my mother. When you arrive here, I shall ignore you as I have all these years. Stay far away from me or there will be a hefty consequence.

    Isnofret: I don’t know where you went or what caused you to disappear with our baby girl, but I hope you are happy. You were the sunshine I needed in my life at that time and I am grateful for it. I hope you are spreading your life elsewhere and that the light inside you never goes out.

    Fluttershy: You were my first child. You left with your mother, however, before I had the chance to truly get to know you. I hope you are safe and happy, wherever you are. I do, truly, love you despite how little I knew of you.

    Noori: Oh my tender little doe… What a woman you have grown to be. I am eternally regretful that your mother and I did not raise you the way you deserved and I certainly hope you will find in your heart to forgive us. We truly meant well. I pray you will not make the same mistakes as we did. I love you, my darling.

    Kaida: From the beginning I knew you would have your mother’s spirit and fire. I knew you would set fire anything that came close to you and your heart. You alit me with your soul, but you might have burned your mother. I don’t know how fire clashing with fire would turn out in a physical sense, but I suppose in a personality manner, it looked much like your relationship between you and your mother. Please cling close to the knowledge that we did try to raise you properly – it just didn’t turn out that way. I love you very much.

    Rain: I am so sorry we could not get to know each other, but please know that I have loved you every moment since your unfortunately short life. Getting to know you now and treasuring every moment with you now will be my pride and joy.

    Simeon: You are so much like me, my gentlemanly boy. Optimistic, gentle-hearted, stirred by the ways of a soldier-mind. I am sorry I didn’t get to know you better than I should have, my oldest boy. Please treasure your family and don’t ever let them go. I love you, Simeon.

    Shahrizai: My loyal, tailless son. Who knew that, when you were born during that wintery time in the Jungle, you would grow into the handsome man you are today. I am so proud of you and the independent personality you have grown into. Know that I will always be watching over you from afar.

    Ea: I am incredibly sad that I didn’t get to know you better. You’re mother shipped you off, but do not let assume that means she or I do not love you. We love and adore you very much, dear heart. Continue to be who you are and do what you think is right in your heart and you will go places.

    Leiland: Thank you for standing beside your mother – God knows how much she needed it. You will grow into someone strong and brave, I am sure. Do not doubt yourself; not ever. Please know that, despite not knowing you as well as I would have liked, I watch you from afar and pride myself in your trials and victories. I love you.

    Wrynn: My sweet, darling, generous little girl. You are too pure, too innocent for this world. I hope you always stay the same, but learn from your mistakes. Grow into the wise, forgiving woman I know you have the prospect of becoming. Do not conform to what the world tells you to be – instead, be who you want to become. Please visit whenever you can; I’ll be watching for you. I love you very dearly.

    Sarkis: Be careful. Guard your heart. Stay true to yourself. Do not doubt your actions, but rather take pride in them. Never stop being happy, always console with your siblings, build up those who are falling. I didn’t know you as much as I wanted, but I still loved and love you. Stay strong, my dearest.

    Vi: I’m sorry both of your parents are leaving you at the same time. I’m sorry I cannot impart any more knowledge besides this to you. I’m sorry I won’t be able to see you grow tall and strong. I’m sorry I won’t be able to see you bring forth life into the world, or tell me about your hardships, or grow to love the skies you live under. I hope you remain strong, though, and that your siblings will help you through this journey of life. I love you, my girlie, even though I do not know you.

    Volcan: Know that we are looking for you, my youngest son. Be strong and fight hard.

    Camrynn: Don’t touch my family again or I will rip your throat out and feed it to the dogs of hell.

    Lagertha: Treat my wife’s throne well or there will be consequences. Don’t think I know about you and your little tricks.

    The Jungle Sisters: Thank you for treating Scorch in the ways that she deserved. Thank you for following her commands like the family you are. Thank you for being here for the two of us in this dark time. Please continue to thrive like I know you will. Please heal wounds and survive with passion. Do not forget, ever, what it means to be a family connected not by blood, but by love. Hold steadfast to that. Be strong, as I know you will be. Do not doubt one another. Take care.


    Hestoni
    Born on December 3rd, 2011. Died on September 21st, 2015.
    Son of Jackel Lantern and Glamour.
    Jungle lover and manservant.
    Lover of Scorch and only Scorch.
    Father to their ten children.
    Grandfather to their six grandchildren.
    Silent and serious but deep and loving.
    Reply
    #3
    I wish you didn't have to go, Mommy and Daddy. I wish you could stay. I miss you. Sad
    Reply
    #4
    I'm not quite sure how I'm going to move on from this. You were the best parents I could have ever asked for. I will miss you more than I can ever express. Just remember that I love you and will keep you forever in my heart. Bye Ma and Pa. Go and be happy together. Say hi to Rain for me.
    Reply
    #5
    Mother, Father, I love you both so much. I am not sure I will soon forget this pain, but I am glad to feel it. Thank you both for being so fierce, for not dismissing me, even though I am not. If I know nothing else in this world, I will have known your love, and somehow that it's going to be okay. I will never forget you, nor will I forget Volcan. We will find her, or we will look forever.

    Heart Sar
    Reply
    #6
    I barely knew you but rest in peace. I'll keep an eye on Vi for you if you like.
    Reply
    #7
    I only liked you because you knew my grandmother. So we're even.

    At one point, that might have been true. But somehow, your fiery, pig-headed, hairless self wiggled into my heart, and you have been one of the only friends I have ever really had. Thank you for everything Scorch. You will be missed, but for us, this is not really goodbye. You know I'll visit. My lightning works in the afterlife now.
    Reply
    #8
    She feels it when they cross over. Perhaps first from Rain or Kora, or perhaps first from her parents themselves. But the chatter of voices in her head shifts, changes, and she knows.

    And she smiles.

    Don't worry mama and papa, there's no need to apologize and no need to be sad. I'm always here, and we can always talk. We'll be even closer now than we were. You'll see.

    And there is no sadness in her heart, because to her death is truly no separation.
    Reply
    #9
    She knows that they grow weaker the way she knows all things. From her dominion in the silent sands she feels the pair slip away.

    She debates for a moment letting Volcan free to meet her parents, to learn a bit about the legacy of her family before the two pillars of it slip away. But that debate is a moment, nothing more, and the girl stays tucked tightly into Camrynn's grip, sleeping the strange slumber of the time-slipped. And that's where Volcan is when her parents slip away.

    Camrynn feels their curses, and her only response is a simple wry smile. Enmity is so beautiful.

    "Rest well." is her only comment. No defense, no response full of vitriol, none of the barbs that they'd no doubt have thrown in life. This is death, and death is altogether different.

    And there definitely is no promise not to interfere with their family. After all, she's doing it right now - although she doubts Shah would complain.
    Reply
    #10
    There are so many things I could truly say to you, Scorch. Through all of our ups, downs, comings and goings you have always been by my side. It was an honor to serve as your Erinak and my only regret was that my last time with you was in the 'Falls and not by your side in the 'Zons. Unless I manage to rid myself of this immortality, I fear our souls shall not meet for a long time. I, however, will always carry you deep in my heart.

    Enjoy your next life, you little fire ball <3
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