03-01-2022, 10:30 PM
all of time and space, everywhere and anywhere, every star that ever was
This is either a dream or a nightmare.
He spots her the same time she spots him and the shock on both their faces are mirror images, unbelieving. A range of emotions seem to move all at once across the golden scales of his face and in the back of her head she wonders what he finds in hers.
Regret, confusion, curiosity, sadness, a wild unbridled joy. Anger?
Ah yes, her new persistent familiar. That was certainly there too, always there, and rising quickly to simmer along her war-torn skin.
Because the love hadn’t run its course and that was what had made it all the more tragic to begin with. She had been so young, they had both been so young, and inexperienced with what love truly was. Even now, she doesn’t think she truly understands it and had come to the point where it must not be meant for her. Perhaps stars could never understand such a complex thing or perhaps, as she had always thought, stars loved a little too much and found it hard to settle or land in just one spot.
It had been one of the reasons why she had admired Jah-Lilah so much and had wondered how she had made it look so easy, to share her heart with the consent of the others she was sharing it with. When she had found herself in a similar struggle, it hadn’t been easy at all. It had devastated her, wrecked her, and she had come out far more broken then she had ever been when she had washed up on the lake from the Underneath.
So how come, after all this time, her heart flutters painfully in her chest just as it had the last time she had seen him? That day is still clear as a bell, ringing in her head. Pregnant and terrified, heartsick, and weary to the bone. She remembers the way her voice had been hoarse and dry from screaming at him, how she had wanted to cry but the tears had been shedding for months and she couldn’t find them anymore.
She could understand the reasons of why he had been hurt and even why he wouldn’t want to be with her when she had voiced her truth, regardless if she didn’t agree or even like it. She could even admit that they both could have handled the whole situation better, differently. She hadn’t known then what she knew now. That she couldn't stop being simply what she was, that she no longer would hold guilt or shame herself for. She was done apologizing for what she was. What had happened with Castile was inevitable and if Castile had been a mare, she would have been drawn to her in the same way. Stars care nothing for genders, they only see what’s in your heart.
Ciri had grown up in a muted world after losing her memories of her time in the heavens. She had struggled to find connections in others and once she finally did, it was hard to deny any connection once it brushed against her own uncertain heart.
For Amet, though, she might have tried. Tried to anchor herself to him because what she had shared with the former dragon-king had nearly destroyed her when she had found herself without it. For him, she might have willingly placed herself in the cage until her stars died out. However, she was something of time and space. There had been other plans for her.
All these memories pass through her mind in a blink of a frantically spinning silver eye. The red stars that hover around her darken in anticipation, her downy midnight wings glitter with starlight where they wrap around her. It can’t be him. It just can’t.
Her name, sorrowed and whispered, reaches her through the distance between them and her lashes flutter closed, suddenly unable to breathe. Unable to look at him. “Please..” She whispers back, that rage inside of her starting to rebuild as she frantically searches her mind for an explanation and lands on the only one that could make sense. Her name again and she can feel herself start to shatter in the little inner healing she had done. “Gale, please.” She says more fiercely, her throat constricted with emotion as she keeps her eyes firmly shut. “Anything but his face.”
He spots her the same time she spots him and the shock on both their faces are mirror images, unbelieving. A range of emotions seem to move all at once across the golden scales of his face and in the back of her head she wonders what he finds in hers.
Regret, confusion, curiosity, sadness, a wild unbridled joy. Anger?
Ah yes, her new persistent familiar. That was certainly there too, always there, and rising quickly to simmer along her war-torn skin.
Because the love hadn’t run its course and that was what had made it all the more tragic to begin with. She had been so young, they had both been so young, and inexperienced with what love truly was. Even now, she doesn’t think she truly understands it and had come to the point where it must not be meant for her. Perhaps stars could never understand such a complex thing or perhaps, as she had always thought, stars loved a little too much and found it hard to settle or land in just one spot.
It had been one of the reasons why she had admired Jah-Lilah so much and had wondered how she had made it look so easy, to share her heart with the consent of the others she was sharing it with. When she had found herself in a similar struggle, it hadn’t been easy at all. It had devastated her, wrecked her, and she had come out far more broken then she had ever been when she had washed up on the lake from the Underneath.
So how come, after all this time, her heart flutters painfully in her chest just as it had the last time she had seen him? That day is still clear as a bell, ringing in her head. Pregnant and terrified, heartsick, and weary to the bone. She remembers the way her voice had been hoarse and dry from screaming at him, how she had wanted to cry but the tears had been shedding for months and she couldn’t find them anymore.
She could understand the reasons of why he had been hurt and even why he wouldn’t want to be with her when she had voiced her truth, regardless if she didn’t agree or even like it. She could even admit that they both could have handled the whole situation better, differently. She hadn’t known then what she knew now. That she couldn't stop being simply what she was, that she no longer would hold guilt or shame herself for. She was done apologizing for what she was. What had happened with Castile was inevitable and if Castile had been a mare, she would have been drawn to her in the same way. Stars care nothing for genders, they only see what’s in your heart.
Ciri had grown up in a muted world after losing her memories of her time in the heavens. She had struggled to find connections in others and once she finally did, it was hard to deny any connection once it brushed against her own uncertain heart.
For Amet, though, she might have tried. Tried to anchor herself to him because what she had shared with the former dragon-king had nearly destroyed her when she had found herself without it. For him, she might have willingly placed herself in the cage until her stars died out. However, she was something of time and space. There had been other plans for her.
All these memories pass through her mind in a blink of a frantically spinning silver eye. The red stars that hover around her darken in anticipation, her downy midnight wings glitter with starlight where they wrap around her. It can’t be him. It just can’t.
Her name, sorrowed and whispered, reaches her through the distance between them and her lashes flutter closed, suddenly unable to breathe. Unable to look at him. “Please..” She whispers back, that rage inside of her starting to rebuild as she frantically searches her mind for an explanation and lands on the only one that could make sense. Her name again and she can feel herself start to shatter in the little inner healing she had done. “Gale, please.” She says more fiercely, her throat constricted with emotion as she keeps her eyes firmly shut. “Anything but his face.”
-- Ciri
@Amet