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    COTY

    Assailant -- Year 226

    QOTY

    "But the dream, the echo, slips from him as quickly as he had found it and as consciousness comes to him (a slap and not the gentle waves of oceanic tides), it dissolves entirely. His muscles relax as the cold claims him again, as the numbness sets in, and when his grey eyes open, there’s nothing but the faint after burn of a dream often trod and never remembered." --Brigade, written by Laura


    She was yellow and grey, the colors of the day // Borderline
    #1



    Tornados from a butterfly's wing


    Ama let off a puff of wind, watched it spin wildly only to break itself to fragments on the trunks of the redwoods. Tornados worked best in open spaces, she'd learned. There was no room for them to gather more air, more speed, when the trees interrupted their path. She still tried every once in while, though. 

    The pine needles that had been thrown into the air settled back down again. The wind that rattled the boughs overhead died down as quickly as it had been summoned. The black and gem mare exhaled, a little exasperated but not terribly disappointed. "Oh well," she murmured, smiling abstractly at the trees. 

    "Reynard! Cheri! It's time to go, mes filles!" Her voice rang out, catching sight of the pair flickering between tree trunks. They were exuberant today. Caught in a game of perpetual chase that made her tired just to watch. They paused just long enough for her to trot up to them, sides expanding rapidly with their exertions, grinning like march hares. 

    Reynard ambled forward to meet his mother, the amber fluff of his mane sticking out in every direction. "Do we have to, Mama?" He bleated, eyes wide and pleading. He glanced to his sister, looking for backup. Ama shook her head, smiling but firm. 

    "Yes, we have to. Come now, there will be time to play later." She promised, nodding up to the noon sun. The days were long and hot now, the height of summer. Plentiful hours of golden light for little foals to expend their energy in. Now though, the bejeweled woman had a mission. One that had settled into the back of her mind ever since a discussion she and Yanhua had held some weeks ago. 

    She was not the only one walking in the woods with his child beside her. There was another mare, Borderline, he'd called her, and she was not a happy creature at the moment. Ama hadn't been necessarily pleased to hear about her. She was sure Borderline hadn't been either. However, she was quick to forget the tongue of jealousy that had leapt at first. 

    What was the point in it? Yan was a stallion with an open heart. It was one of the things she appreciated about him. He was not quick to love, not really, but when he did, she knew better than anyone how deeply it ran. How could she begrudge anyone that kind of feeling? 

    So it would be easier, she decided, to face the relationship head on. Ama had never been one to walk on eggshells, nor did she ever intend to start. She would offer her friendship, her family, her olive branch. If it was accepted, Joy! If not... Well, no one could say she hadn't tried. 

    Wings fluttering absently, she guided her two little ones through the labyrinthine forest, eyes and ears open. There were others who lived here, of course. Few she had met so far, though. Still, it was easy enough to find her way to the outskirt den of the new mother and her child, and the emotion that hung in the air confirmed it. 

    Maudlin, was the first word that came to her mind. Ama blinked her eerie eyes, focused within. Threads of grey-yellow pooled in the space, and she found her own smile slipping. Maybe this had been a bad idea. At the very least, she should have asked Lilli or someone to watch the twins while she made her foray. Too late now, though. 

    "Borderline?" She called out, looking for the mare, or her child. The half-sibling of her own two. Was it overly optimistic of her to want the children to grow up as friends? Would their mother allow it? "Borderline? I'm Amarine." She hesitated, then continued. "I've just come to pay you a visit." She shut her mouth then, catching Cheri's eye and winking with a conspiritual smile.

    ...Amarine





    @[Borderline] @[Calcifer] 
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    #2

    despite the overwhelming odds, tomorrow came

    The sun was high in the sky, shining down between the branches of the redwoods, dotting that forest floor in patches of light. It was warm, but the shade of the large trees provides some relief from the heat. Memorie was busy chasing butterflies, laughing and giggling and prancing through the ferns that litter the ground. Meanwhile, I stood off to the side, simply watching her with a sad smile on my lips.

    I’m still not sure coming back here was a good idea, but it had gotten lonely, with only a child for company. I adore Memorie with all my heart, but still, I missed adult conversation. Most of all, I missed Yanhua. At the same time, the thought of him sends a wash of sadness through me. My heart hurts. Was it wrong to think that I could keep him all to myself? Well, that was certainly the impression I had been under when we were romping through these forests together, like children.

    I feel like I was a child, naïve and innocent, ripe for a broken heart. And that’s exactly what I have now.

    Memorie stops playing to look at me, and I quickly shift my features back into a smile. She didn’t need to be a part of my sadness. Little did I know that she shared her father’s gift of empathic echoes, so she knew more of my sadness than I could have ever imagined. She returns my smile and turns back to her antics, her little hooves dancing so delicately through the ferns, and I can’t help but feel a lightness in my chest, and hope in my heart. She certainly is the most amazing thing I could ever have hoped for.

    Suddenly, Mem stopped. There was something–or someone–out there. As the filly turns, I raise my head and peer into the depths of the forest. I hear my name before I see her. The sound of her voice is kind and pleasant, and at first I’m not sure of what to think, but then she moves into view. The sight of her sends shockwaves through me. Emotions that I couldn’t even name begin to run rampant within me. I recognized her. How could I not? I had followed Yanhua to her, unbeknownst to him. And I had run away from it.

    In fact, that’s what I feel like doing now, running away. But something keeps me rooted to the spot. Maybe it was fear. Maybe it was curiosity. Maybe it was something else. Either way, I stand frozen in place as she speaks again.

    I didn’t even notice Memorie as she slips in beside me. She seems to understand the situation, for she brushes gently against my side, a comforting gesture, then steps forward. Her eyes are for the mare, even though two little ones are at her side. “Hi, @[Amarine],” she says. Amarine. That was her name, the name of the mare that Yanhua’s heart beat for, and the sound of it coming from Memorie’s mouth makes me shudder. I don’t know whether I should hate her or not. Did she even know about me when she fell for him? Or had she found out after the fact? For now, I choose to reserve my judgements. After all, she was here now, and she didn’t seem angry or distressed.

    I nod my head, a stiff motion, but not an unfriendly one. “Hello, Amarine,” I say. The sound of her name on my tongue feels like poison. It tastes horrible. Still, I had made up my mind to be open-minded about this, and I was determined to do just that. So I swallow, trying to push the large lump in my throat down. I glance down at the two foals by her side. I can see Yanhua in them, as much as I can see him in Memorie. “And who are the little ones?” My voice is obviously strained, and it cracks a time or two, an indication of being forced out. “Oh,” I glance back at Memorie, “This is Memorie.” I wonder if Amarine is looking at Memorie as I am her children, seeing the resemblance that is glaringly obvious.

    borderline

    Photo by Sharon McCutcheon from Unsplash
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    #3



    Tornados from a butterfly's wing


    When she appears, it's like a ghost from the mists. She is blue and grey, a softer variation of my own palette. I smile gently at her greeting. The muted yellows and greys have given way to Bitterness, bile-green and laced with Uncertainty. It's a lot of negativity, and I can tell I'm not purely welcome here. She will hear me out though, so I try to keep an open mind as well. 

    There is a little one. Of course there is. She is strikingly like Yan, except for the brilliant blue fluff of her tail which is all her mother. She cannot be any older than the butterfly mare's own pair, but her boldness is pleasant to see. Ama bobbed her head in return, smiling vaguely at mother and daughter. It was strange to see features shared between her children and this one, it gave her pause. 

    She recovered quickly though, and the twins nosed forward to investigate the strange meeting. 

    "Hello," she directed to them both. 

    "Hiya!"

    "Hey," 

    The twins added their own greetings, far more interested in their age-mate than in the adults and their stiff conversation. Ama grinned awkwardly, brushing her own muzzle against Cheri's white blotches rump while she gathered her own thoughts. 

    "It's nice to meet you, miss Memorie. And you, Borderline. It's far past due." She shrugged, apologizing for something she'd had very little control over. "This is Cheri," she gestured at the black and blue girl who was edging closer to her half-sister. "And that one is Reynard." The colt in question bucked lightly, eternally floppy ears bouncing in his excitement. 

    She let herself watch them for a moment, children joyful in their innocence. If they chose to wander a little ways off, she wouldn't stop them. It would make the conversation easier to have without little ears listening in. 

    Humming an awkward note, she brought herself back to the matter at hand. "Well. This is weird." She chuckled, nose wrinkled. "We've been thrown into a situation that neither of us had all the information on. I'm sorry for that. But I don't think it has to be all bad." She paused, wings fluttering absently. It was difficult, but she was doing her best to keep her own emotions from infiltrating the area. To stay neutral. 

    She met Borderline's eyes with her own polished stone orbs. Pupiless and eerie, she usually made a point of avoiding eye contact with horses she didn't know. It made them uneasy. For a brief moment though, she let their gazes join. 

    "I think there are three options here. One, stay bitter and angry and let it consume you until there's nothing left. Join the vengeful spirits. Haunt the living. You would be well within you rights. Two, move out and move on. Start over and make a new life for yourself and pretend this never happened." She hesitated, mouth twisted mirthlessly. With a sigh, she continued. "Three... We can make the best of this. We can make a family out of this, and maybe even become friends, if you want. We already have a baby daddy in common. I'll bet we have more." She laughed, but cut it off quickly. Maybe this wasn't the time for gallows humor. "Anyway. What do you say?" She asked, unable to keep a bubble of hope from growing in her chest.

    ...Amarine





    @[Borderline]
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    #4

    despite the overwhelming odds, tomorrow came

    As @[Amarine]’s two little ones come forward, Memorie shifts her attention to them, and her curiosity becomes evident in the way her ears prick forward and her head tilts slightly. She gives me a searching look, and I smile back at her with a slight nod before I look back to Amarine and her children. I could see the resemblances between Yanhua and them, though not as pronounced as those between him and Memorie. The colt shared more of his features than the filly, but they both shared similar structures to his.

    Amarine introduces them as Cheri and Reynard, and when she does so, Memorie responds with a little jittery dancing by my side, matching the Reynard’s excited little display with one of her own. I, too, watch the children, and despite the tense aura surrounding the situation, I produce a warm smile. It’s hard not to smile for the children, especially since Memorie was the most precious thing to me.

    Memorie grins at her half siblings, a glint of mischief in her eyes. I can see what is about to happen before it happens, and then she leaps forward, bouncing her nose off the colt’s chest and shouts, “you’re it!” She bounds off in excitement, glancing back over her shoulder at the twins. Something inside me wonders if she can also sense that Amarine and I have things to discuss that would be much easier without them having to be forced into the middle of it.

    I, too, return my attention to Amarine as she expresses how weird this situation is. Her soft chuckle produces a similar reaction in me. I guess you could say that. When she mentions that we were both thrown into this situation without all of the information, it brings a slight relief. So she hadn’t really known about me, either. I could forgive her for loving the same stallion as me, if that was the case. It made things easier from my end, that’s for sure. “There’s no need for you to apologize. You aren’t the guilty party here.” I give her what I hoped to be a humored smile, but it’s hard because of all the emotions welling up within me. But if she can keep a level head about this, I am determined to do so as well. And she was right, this doesn’t have to be all bad.

    When Amarine meets my eyes, I shift uncomfortably. It is not her pupiless gaze that unnerves me, but the strong emotions that come with the whole situation at hand. Still, I maintain eye contact for as long as she does, then I allow her to lay out the options.

    I’m not going to lie, the first option sounds appealing, but is that really what I want in the end? The second option I had already tried, and look how that worked out. I had come back out of loneliness (and also the duty as a mother to allow Memorie to have a father in her life). I am pretty sure I know what the next option would be, and her momentary pause gives me time to think about it. Still, after she says it, I chew on her words for a moment. I know that the third option is what I truly want in my heart, but it is certainly not the easiest option. Yet here she stood, extending her olive branch, and how could I refuse? “Well, seeing as I would rather not remain unhappy for the rest of my life, and I’ve already tried to leave and forget any of this ever happened, I guess that leaves us at option three. I would like to see Memorie have that family that I never had.”

    borderline

    Photo by Sharon McCutcheon from Unsplash
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    #5



    Tornados from a butterfly's wing


    Their careless excitement at the possibility of new playmates is contagious. There was a squeak of surprise when Memorie batted Reynard's chest, followed by a challenging "Oh, yeah?"

    Before you could say buckaroo, all three had scattered like a puff of dandelion seeds, wholey absorbed in not being It. Bright eyed Ama turned back to her companion, hope blooming in her expression as the conversation carried on. She was quiet, until the conversation required her input. She said her piece, and waited with practiced peace for Borderline to absorb her words. 

    A childish smile lit up the girl's dark face when the other mare spoke at last. There was Reluctance in the air still. Cautious Hope as well. That was what Amarine grasped at. With Hope, anything was possible. 

    "I'm so happy you feel that way," she stated warmly, get wings quickly fluttering in her excitement. "We can do this. You'll see. Look," she nodded to where the young ones raced and squealed, Cheri saying something about her brother not playing fair, only to dart off after Memorie. "It comes natural to them." 

    Ama marveled at that. The only family she'd known before now had been the kind that she'd found. Nev had adopted her, and everything after that had been folk who she chose to be close with. It was a family of her own making, and now it was that much bigger. Her heart seemed to grow with it. It seemed unfair that Borderline not get the same sort of happiness out of the situation. 

    Her expression shifted subtly. Humor gleamed on the planes of her face as she considered the mare before her. "Now, down to business: how exactly should we go about punishing the knave who thought that playing us blindfolded would work in his favor?" Conspiracy tinged her voice, an invitation to mischief that she hoped she would be taken up on. If only because it seemed they could both use a release of tension.

    ...Amarine






    @[Borderline]
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    #6

    despite the overwhelming odds, tomorrow came

    I had never before had a friend, but I could see this relationship turning into the wispy remnants of something like it. There was a sort of bond we shared in watching our children play. The mood was certainly infectious, leeching into a tough situation, turning it into something a little easier to swallow; a little easier to digest.

    Though a large part of me is still afraid and still hurt, I am starting to feel a little bit of hope, like there was finally light in the darkness. @[Amarine] seems to sense this. She lights up like a beacon signaling home, and I can’t help but smile–the first real smile (that wasn’t for Memorie) since I had left Taiga. When she speaks, her words are like salve on a wound. Though a part of me aches, as well, because I was starting to see what Yanhua loved so much about her. Still, she bids I look, and my blue eyes follow her gesture to look upon the children.

    I smile more deeply, feeling a warmth in the cold, barren wasteland that had been my heart for the past few months. She is absolutely right, I think to myself as I watch Memorie being caught by her half-sister and groaning dramatically before squealing in delight as she launches off her hindquarters towards her half-brother.

    Unbeknownst to either of us, my thoughts draw back to similar experiences as Amarine’s, except that my mother hadn’t abandoned me, but that doesn’t mean I didn’t wish she had. But the only family I had ever considered to be my family before now was also a family that I had found–and continue to find, I remind myself as I watch Memorie dive after Reynard only to find herself tumbling over in a flurry of dirt and laughter. My heart flutters for a second before the filly bounds back up and gives chase once more. And then my heart beats for Reynard and Cheri, the siblings who were a blessing in disguise. I find a budding love for them in my heart.

    With hearts lighter than before, Amarine turns to me with a little bit of a rebellious grin, and what comes next brings a mischievous grin to my face. “Oh, ho, ho, business, indeed.” I laugh, a very throaty and conniving laugh. “Oh, but there’s just so many options. There’s the obvious, we can beat him up, but that’s no fun. That’s what boys do. You know what would be way more fun? Make him sweat. We make it obvious that we are conspiring against him. That’s enough to drive him crazy.”

    borderline

    Photo by Sharon McCutcheon from Unsplash
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    #7



    Tornados from a butterfly's wing


    And then things seem to be going well. More than well, she thinks perhaps they are even hitting it off. Bitterness washed away, diluted with the cleanliness a new start promised. 

    Watching the children leap and sprint after each other was absorbing, and she raised her eyebrows when her son refused to be touched, making his sisters' muzzles pass through him when he should have been made It. "Play fair, Reynard!" She called out, shaking her head at their antics. Her ears flicked with subtle amusement, even as she tried to keep her face stern. 

    The brown colt nodded sheepishly, a moment that gave his sister the moment she needed to barrel into his rump with a victorious "You're it!" 

    Ama giggled and turned back to the grey woman, contentment filtering through her. "Business, yes," she repeated, and listened to the mare's suggestions. "Beating his up would be so much more straight forward though," she mused. With a roguish click of her tongue, she shrugged. "I can't lie to save my life, so if we're making him sweat, we better come up with something good." 

    She sighed, drama in her features as she considered the options. Really, would it be enough just for him to know they were getting along? Somehow, she figured he'd only thank his lucky stars that was the case. "So we get along better with each other than we do with him, do you think?" She mused aloud. Certainly seemed so at the moment.

    ...Amarine





    @[Borderline]
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    #8

    despite the overwhelming odds, tomorrow came

    Children and their antics. I can’t help but laugh when Reynard tries to avoid being tagged it by going incorporeal while Memorie swerves in close to her siblings, as if daring Cheri to come after her instead. Cheri seems intent of tagging Reynard “it”, though, and manages to do so while his attention is turned. That should serve him right, because he had been playing unfair to begin with.

    But there was other matters to attend to at hand. Matters that are very delicate indeed: deciding Yanhua’s fate with his baby mama’s. I laugh when she says that beating him up would be so much straight forward. That is definitely true, but I’ve never been much for violence, let alone perpetrating it myself. So I’d rather not beat him up. Still, the idea of it is entertaining in its own right. Simply musing about it wouldn’t do anyone any harm.

    “Well, no one ever said anything about lying.” I give her a sly wink at this. “We are conspiring to make him sweat for not being straight forward with us. And if I know anything about boys, it’s that they get uncomfortable at even the slightest hint that us girls are conspiring against them.” I grin, a mischievous gesture that lights up my previously uncertain features.

    This was fun, I have to admit. I hadn’t had a lot of that over the past few months. Actually, come to think of it, I hadn’t had a lot of that in my life up until this point. Nor have I ever had someone to conspire with. It’s different, but it certainly makes me feel things that I never would have thought I’d feel. I had come from a place where no one liked me much. I came to a place where all I’d known was the soft touch of Yanhua’s love before that was shattered. I left to a place where all I had was my child to keep me company. And now I’d returned to find that life here could have more than just confusion, heartache, and uncertainty.

    When @[Amarine] mentions that we could get along better together than we do with him, I have to smile. Now, that was certainly a plan that I could get behind. “We should definitely start there.” There was no denying it now, we were friends. How could we not be? We certainly had enough in common, even if that consisted of children who were intent on enjoying each other’s company and a stallion who had kept us a secret from one another.

    borderline

    Photo by Sharon McCutcheon from Unsplash
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    #9



    Tornados from a butterfly's wing


    She nodded along, speculative about the power two mare's could hold if they really wanted to. Power handed to them by the very stallion who had unwittingly brought them together. Yanhua, Yanhua, he had a lot to answer for. 

    She had been more shocked than jealous when she'd found out about the other little family he had been cultivating. Perhaps it was a side effect of the depth of her knowledge, but she'd found over the years that just about any behavior could be explained when you knew why someone felt how they did. It was incredibly rare for someone to be cruel for cruelty's sake. There was more often Pain, Misunderstanding, or yes, Jealousy at the core of those interactions. 

    Yan loved to be loved. It was as necessary to him as air to breath, and she hadn't found a reason to be bothered by it until today. When she'd come to feel exactly the kind of effects his Love had created, simply by being too big to be contained. 

    The butterfly mare didn't have it in her to regret the relationship she and the caprine stallion shared. It was as true as anything else she'd experienced, and the children that sprang from it were exquisite in their own ways. No, she couldn't take back the past, nor did she want to. What she could do, though, was help to build a happier future. One in which they all benefited. 

    Her wings fluttered as she contemplated, stirring pine needles with the breeze they created. How well she knew that little breezes could gather into larger storms. It gave her an idea, or part of one. She breathed a whispy breath, and set her crystalline gaze on the grey mare, thankful that the weight of Sorrow had thinned between them. 

    "You wouldn't happen to be in the market for something of a den-mate, would you?" She asked, fluttering again. Would that be enough to make Yan sweat? If the two mare's he'd solicited now lived together, and he was left in the proverbial cold. She had her own space in the woods, of course, and perhaps Borderline was not keen on giving up her privacy here on the edge of the forest. But maybe they could build on the idea, or edit it in a way that suited them both, and more importantly; Inconvenienced Yanhua.

    ...Amarine





    @[Borderline]
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    #10

    despite the overwhelming odds, tomorrow came

    I had known that Yanhua had a lot of love to give. That’s a big reason I had fallen in love with him in the first place. I had never known love before him. I guess I had not expected to share that love with another, though, and when I had found out about Amarine in the beginning, it felt like a betrayal. I guess I wasn’t as wise to look at things the way she did. Instead, I had run from it, thinking that it couldn’t be love if there was another.

    You see, I had never had a family before, at least not one that I could (or would) call that. And when I’d fallen in love with the chestnut stallion, I’d expected that to be my family…and mine alone. That’s how I had envisioned things: Yanhua returning home from his trips to be by my side, laughing and playing with Memorie and any future children we might have, spending ever day and night together, every waking minute that we possibly could. It felt right.

    So when I’d found out that there was another, all of those hopes and dreams came crashing down on my head in a way that left indelible scars upon my heart. It would always hurt that I would have to share that love, but in time, I think I could make peace with that. After all, Yan had plenty of love to give with his huge heart. At least I am willing to give it a try (though I would still need time to come to grips with it).

    It makes me happy that @[Amarine] had sought me out today, to show me that there was more to this growing family than the heartache that surrounded the disaster that was Yanhua and I. It makes me happy that she wants to build a happier future in which we all benefit. I could see myself being good friends with this mare who I was inclined to hate in the beginning–before I had known her. After all, it was not her fault that Yan’s heart was too big to contain to one relationship. And I was starting to see that.

    Her question definitely peeks my interest. Den mate? A month ago, I would not have entertained the idea of sharing a den with someone I felt had stolen the affections I so desperately desired, but now? Now that I had met and could appreciate Amarine for the kind soul she was, I could definitely see this working to our benefit. I laugh softly at the idea of the stallion being left to share a bed by himself. “I wasn’t before now, but I think I am now.” I wink mischievously.

    borderline

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