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    Beyza -- Year 211


    "She kills him because no matter how far she has come from the bitter, angry young girl she had been, she is still Starsin, and if he wants to make her world burn, she will be certain that he burns with it." --Starsin, written by Colby

    [private]  I saw a shooting star late last night

    — I have loved the stars too fondly to be fearful of the night —

    Agetta remembers standing in a frozen river, talking to a stranger about how to forgive herself for her mistakes. This is certainly one. Although the child growing inside of her was created out of strife, even though she had fought and lost against the dark god, she only blames herself. Blaming him feels too easy - and it is not an easy thing to break years and years of practiced guilt.

    So she does what she can to live with it, to wish on every star that there are no more challenges for her. She's so tired and rest is far overdue. More than what sleep can ever give her.

    She drifts to the river now, remembering a time a few years ago when she had stood in the freezing water and talked about forgiveness and death.

    There was no dried blood on her from a healed broken neck this time, no pointless attempts at death. Although shapeshifting is a little awkward while she is pregnant, she’s pulled on the comfort of her snow leopard form and is resting in the snow - her dark blue eyes staring out at the ocean where the river mingles with it, watching the horizon disappear with the sun.

    No thoughts swarm through her mind which is a relief. She'll take whatever moments of peace her mind will give her.


    art by millionashes | table by laura

    set in winter because I am incapable of posting within a reasonable time <3

    Lilliana leaves little Reave with new-mother Amarine and asks the bejeweled mare to listen for her twins that sleep in a nearby grove. Just in case they wake. Please, she says, as she always has, as she always will.

    And then, because her mind is as fractured as her heart with grief, she goes.

    She does something that she hasn't done in years. She runs. Lilli finds one of the many trails that take her out of Taiga and she flies. Her hooves hit the frozen ground at a breakneck pace (because there is no fighters heart beating her chest and she can never bring herself to intentionally harm another so all her anger hits the Earth instead; because she knows that death wouldn't come so easily as breaking that pretty neck of hers). If horses are traveling this way, they know to keep out of the way of the mad galloping woman.

    (If she were in the right frame of mind, she would have wondered what they thought of her, if they had paid her any mind at all. What did they make of the maddash runner? Did they wonder if she was running away or towards something? Did she run to remember or to forget?)

    Lilliana, who had been praised as fleetest and swiftest girl of her generation (and some of the generations before, because none had come after the loss of Paraiso and the fall of Culloden), reaches for the wind in her stride again. She beats against the ground harder and harder - something that echoes her racing (aching) heart - as the mighty trees of Taiga fade into the shadows, as she takes the old trail towards once-beloved Hyaline and then flees from it, as she bolts through the Forest and then forcefully into nature where the River averts her path south.

    When the horizon is blazing bright with a sunset as Lilliana is burning with her grief and anger, she finally crashes. The Taigan shatters against the shoreline when she realizes where is. This is where she had brought Aela into the world. And the thought of her lost flaxen-haired daughter makes her think of a little blonde boy in Taiga - orphaned -  and it seems like a cruel reminder from her Gods. That like Aela, Brazen was someone else she was bound to lose. 

    Dusk bleeds into the dark. The slender chestnut with a jagged flame on her shoulder stands silently. The thought of even moving is exhausting and so she stands, staring out across the moonlit sheen on the ocean waves imagining what it must be like to drown. So absorbed in her thoughts, Lilliana doesn't notice the pale shape cradled in the snow and shadows.

    A glow comes soft, at first. Where it comes from is unknown until a little ball of light comes hovering down, floating tentatively above his companion. Leonidas shines blue-silver above her and asks: Did you know that even stars die?

    Remember when our songs were just like prayers
    Like gospel hymns that you caught in the air?


    — I have loved the stars too fondly to be fearful of the night —

    From her vantage point, it was difficult not to miss the mare that comes to stand nearby. Not only does the crimson coat stand out against the snow but Agetta is also lower to the ground, making the stranger seem larger. She notes, in the dimming light, the golden flame marking and can almost feel the shooting star on her face tingle though it is hidden in this form.

    But then, gold markings are not rare - are they? It does not necessarily mean this is someone else marked by a time spent in the deserts, witnessing as a stallion Agetta grew to love murdered his mother and then tore out his own eyes.

    She considers just leaving the stranger be. Of letting them both stew in their own thoughts as she was sitting with her own. Her thick, furred tail swishes in the snow, leaving a trail, as she tries to decide whether she wants conversation (and if she wants to take the chance that the other mare will want some too).

    But then the ball of light descents and hovers around, and Agetta is fascinated enough by the pair to break her silence.

    “A lot on your mind?” The snow leopard asks, not rising from her sphinx position in the snow but turning her head to regard the chestnut mare with the glowing light hovering nearby. In the dimming light, she fancied the silvery light coming from it almost even made it look like a star.


    art by millionashes | table by laura


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