— I have loved the stars too fondly to be fearful of the night —
There's a soft smile that plays across her face as he tells her about Bad - and though there is still some jealousy there mostly she is glad. And proud of him for sticking around, even if he does not always know what to do. “If there’s anything I can do to help, let me know. Maybe all these years of being able to shapeshift will finally come in handy.” It's an offer she makes instinctively, though it is of course genuine.
Garbage moves towards her and she's sure she can feel the air between them become charged. When he does not reach out to touch her, she closes the gap between them with a slow, gentle movement. Her white muzzle brushes softly against his dark skin and she inhales him and the feelings of love, pain, and joy that come flooding into her with his scent.
Agetta decides then to give him complete honesty. “Yes and no.” As she pulls back there is a hollow, sad smile in those dark eyes. “Her father wasn’t… I didn’t want to…” but those words fail her so she gives up - they are not so easy to find when she is choked with her shame. Maybe she could have tried harder to explain if it weren’t for Holler’s presence nearby. The girl is so young but Agetta’s learned time and time again how foals can retain more than you might think. She tries her best to protect her children from certain realities and, even though it may be a little true, Agetta does not want the young filly to believe she wasn't wanted.
If she could separate the act of creation from the love she feels when she looks at the girl, then it would be fine. And she owes it to Holler to try.
She swallows the tears that threaten, looking away from the kind face near her and to the dawn sky for a moment. “I don’t think I have been alright for some time now. The last time I remember being happy was when we were raising Maze.” For as long as their wildfire daughter had tolerated being raised, anyway, before she started to write stories of her own. “But I am still here, and I suppose that is something.” Although she is being honest, she is not sure she can tell him how a few years ago, pregnant with Atrox’s twins, she had tried her best to end it all only to find out that her new ability to heal herself made that exit impossible.
She remembers thinking when she saw Carnage that he had come to kill her a second time. If anyone could help her in that regard, it would have been him. And she thought, just for a moment, that was what she wanted. And she had been so disappointed when he took something else from her instead of her life.
Her blue eyes now search his face, reacquainting herself with all the details she’s already memorized. “I’m afraid the last few years have turned me into an even bigger mess than when we first met.”
@[garbage]