08-02-2020, 12:26 PM
It's a bad day. Which isn't to say that I have many good days, but today I can hardly think for all the screaming in my head. I blame it on the meal I had, lush green leaves and sweet grasses that tempted me into a full belly. Without hunger to distract me the Voices rant and rage.
Have you lost your daughter again?
Of course she has. Haven't you noticed? The stupid whore has always been better at spreading her legs than keeping track of their product.
I have a daughter? Blinking distressed at the trees around me. Trees in every direction, but no child to be seen. No flash of pink and lavender, no sparkle in the shadows. Or... My eyes lose focus. Is it black and white I should be looking for? A ragged snort explodes from my muzzle as I stomp in frustration.
Fragments of memory weave themselves in a haphazard tapestry. Bits and pieces of my life, with touches I can't be sure aren't just pure fiction. Where I've been, where I'm going. Even where I am right now. Trees, many trees, green as green can be. Thats not right. They shouldn't be green.
I spin in a slow circle. They shouldn't be green. Where am I?
North, East, South, West, which one do you love the best? Not that it matters. You're lost, lost, lost, never to be found.
"I'm not lost," I say, walking with as much confidence as I can muster through the darkening woods.
Then where are you? Not even the gods could find someone as lost as you. Not that they care to. Not that anyone cares.
It's true. I've heard it so many times that I can't disagree any longer. No, not when it's been proven right so very many times. The fight drips out of me, my head dropped almost the ground. Shadows lurk, a deeper shade of black than the ones they emerge from. Not for the first time, not for the last, I wish for the end I'll never see.
The thought teases me. Hangs before my eyes with soft colours and warm light. My body, nestled in welcoming bed of leaves, soft mosses growing over the desaturated remnants of my skin and bones. Even the cursed spear in my breast decays eventually, never to harm another soul.
I blink, and the vision is gone.
It's only me and the Voices in the dark. Mocking, bitching, hateful Voices that never cease. I used to think I could outrun them, starve them, talk my way out of them. It never lasts. Always, they return with their vengeance, and I am weary of it.
"No, I can't feel anything." I snarl wetly into the dark. It's a lie. I feel everything, every shift of the splinter in my heart, every swollen joint and cracked hoof. Why not disagree with the Voices, though. They aren't any kinder when I'm submissive to them.
@[Balto]
Have you lost your daughter again?
Of course she has. Haven't you noticed? The stupid whore has always been better at spreading her legs than keeping track of their product.
I have a daughter? Blinking distressed at the trees around me. Trees in every direction, but no child to be seen. No flash of pink and lavender, no sparkle in the shadows. Or... My eyes lose focus. Is it black and white I should be looking for? A ragged snort explodes from my muzzle as I stomp in frustration.
Fragments of memory weave themselves in a haphazard tapestry. Bits and pieces of my life, with touches I can't be sure aren't just pure fiction. Where I've been, where I'm going. Even where I am right now. Trees, many trees, green as green can be. Thats not right. They shouldn't be green.
I spin in a slow circle. They shouldn't be green. Where am I?
North, East, South, West, which one do you love the best? Not that it matters. You're lost, lost, lost, never to be found.
"I'm not lost," I say, walking with as much confidence as I can muster through the darkening woods.
Then where are you? Not even the gods could find someone as lost as you. Not that they care to. Not that anyone cares.
It's true. I've heard it so many times that I can't disagree any longer. No, not when it's been proven right so very many times. The fight drips out of me, my head dropped almost the ground. Shadows lurk, a deeper shade of black than the ones they emerge from. Not for the first time, not for the last, I wish for the end I'll never see.
The thought teases me. Hangs before my eyes with soft colours and warm light. My body, nestled in welcoming bed of leaves, soft mosses growing over the desaturated remnants of my skin and bones. Even the cursed spear in my breast decays eventually, never to harm another soul.
I blink, and the vision is gone.
It's only me and the Voices in the dark. Mocking, bitching, hateful Voices that never cease. I used to think I could outrun them, starve them, talk my way out of them. It never lasts. Always, they return with their vengeance, and I am weary of it.
"No, I can't feel anything." I snarl wetly into the dark. It's a lie. I feel everything, every shift of the splinter in my heart, every swollen joint and cracked hoof. Why not disagree with the Voices, though. They aren't any kinder when I'm submissive to them.
@[Balto]