07-21-2020, 07:03 PM
(This post was last modified: 07-21-2020, 07:05 PM by lilliana.)
"Go,” Lilliana laughs with her blue eyes crinkling at their corners. The chestnut mare reaches up (how has so much time passed?) and gives a soft tug at the flaxen forelock of her eldest child. "I’ll be right here when you get back,” she promises with a fond expression for her winged son.
Her Nashua - her brave, bold boy who has grown so reluctant to fly.
(Your fault, the voice taunts. It’s all your fault.)
"You’re sure? I can stay. I don’t have to-,” and then he is cut off by the shake of his mother’s refined head. "Go”, Lilliana says again, a little brighter, firmer. Nash looks at her as his brown wings rest uneasily against his auburn sides. "Give Brazen my love and if you see your Aunt Neverwhere, tell her I’ll be along shortly.” The young pegasus pauses, unsure and Lilliana tosses her head towards the sky, where Nash looks longingly.
Go, her bright eyes encourage him.
He does, eventually. It isn’t until he is a distant figure on the horizon and Lilliana no longer spies him, no longer senses Yanhua nearby, that she turns away from the rocky coast. The red mare doesn’t stay idle for long, not when there is so much to do. So much lost time to make up for. The ghosts that haunt her thoughts don’t have long to linger because Lilliana banishes them with a purpose.
To find @[Izora Lethia].
The Matriarch was heavily pregnant and when she finds the buckskin Taigan, Lilliana smiles. Any day now, she thinks. She’s tried not to hover to close during Lethy’s pregnancy but Lilli has kept a close eye on her fellow council-member. "Lethy,” says the red woman as she comes to stop directly in front of the other, "How are you feeling?”
LILLIANA if i ever get to heaven
i've got a long list of questions
<3
but it's all in the past, love
it's all gone with the wind
07-23-2020, 06:56 PM
(This post was last modified: 07-23-2020, 06:56 PM by Izora Lethia.)
It was hard for her at first, realizing that one trivial night of loneliness and banished feelings would lead to the creation inside her - or creations. As time went on and Lethy grew rounder and denial was no longer capable she had spent most of her energy into pushing her magic deep within her so that she would not feel the inner struggle of her actions. Though, Aten had not returned nor her son it was not like anyone would blame her... but that did not mean the feeling of self blame did not creep in during the middle of the night like the wild wolves that ghosted their lands.
She had exhausted herself in this way, keeping the wolves at bay and it showed in the hollows beneath her eyes. When Lilliana says her name her eyes snapped open, the warmth on her back from the sun traveling through her and clamoring to the corners of her mouth. She had known she was back but after so many months away every time she saw her friend was just as soothing as the first. She was glad to have her back home, though she could see Lilliana's own wolves haunting her eyes when her gaurd was down. She had not pushed her for information in recent conversation, only focusing on all the positives that had happened.
When she asks how she is feeling the confusion clouds her eyes for only a moment - with enough peace she was always forgetting the bulging child inside her, or two. She couldn't stop that nagging sensation when ever she remembered her predicament. "I'm okay. Just tired. I haven't been this tired in.. well a long time." she responds with a light chuckle. If she were honest with herself she had not been this tired since the plague had taken her during her first pregnancy.
"Enough about me. How are you? How are the boys?" she asks the latter in a cautious tone. She knew that their mothers disappearance had taken a great toll on the boys, she hoped that when their mother returned they would not hold their forgotten childhood against her - she had done her best to step in and keep a close eye on them. forget me not; but never remember Lethy 
@[lilliana]
Lilliana is smiling - trying to find some of her old brightness to share with @[Izora Lethia] - though she notices the hollows beneath the buckskin’s eyes. Where it seemed the troubles she carried with her were tugging at the corners of her eyes, dragging them down, and giving the Matriach (to Lilli) a fatigued air. Her mouth is still curved upward but it stills when the copper mare sees confusion darkening those violet-colored eyes.
"Is there anything I can do?” she offers. Lilli avoids her echoes but her healing - regardless of what it might take from her - is something that might help Lethy. It’s why she visits so often with her fellow Taigan. Just in case.
A bird calls and it rings through the forest. The red mare is thinking of Owin and how small he had been. She is remembering Kalil, of how much time he spent with Ruthless on the coast. Despite the impressive canopy they stand beneath, Lilliana is silently reminded that time is precious. It is so fleeting. The thought softens her face as Lilli turns her slender head to stare out at the copse of woods around them, where the fog drifts in with the morning sunbeams that gilded the vapor as it wandered through (and around) the mighty Redwoods.
It makes Taiga look mystical, like a lost fairy tale.
It’s something that Lilliana has always adored about her home.
When the glowing mare laughs softly, an ear flicks to the sound and Lilliana returns her attention back to Lethy. "I’m here,” she says with a modest expression. It’s a place to start, and so she tells herself, that’s what really counts. "I can’t quite believe how tall Yanhua is,” she admits softly, thinking of how his height would rival that of her own sire. "And Nashua. All he talks about is Leilan and his upcoming apprenticeship on the Isle.”
How much time that has passed - how much she has missed - clutches at her heartstrings and releases in a deep sigh. There is no changing the past, she reminds herself. There is no undoing it. Tilting her head up to Lethia, she adds: "Thank you,” and then says, "for everything you did for them. For keeping Taiga safe, Matriarch.” Her blue eyes deepen and warm as she presses her gratitude into the cheek of the taller mare. Giving one more concerned glance to the other mare’s rounding sides, Lilliana continues forward. There would be another generation racing and laughing beneath these trees soon. "I want to hear your ideas for this place, Lethy. What do you dream of for Taiga?”
LILLIANA if i ever get to heaven
i've got a long list of questions
but it's all in the past, love
it's all gone with the wind
It is not lost on her, the slight shadows beneath Lilli's eyes, the hallows of her cheeks and the protruding bones from many months of neglect in the red dust land. When Lilli asks if there is anything she could do she does not hesitate to nod nod away the offer with a soft smile. Aside from the exhaustion her other cuts and bruises that she had obtained in the red mares absence were already well on their way to healing. The jagged talon scratches that ran horizontally down her haunches and side were pinking from lost scabs and hidden well beneath her winter coat (not for long though she suspected) but it was not a conversation she wanted to have right now.
The birds call pulls her just as it does Lilliana, back to a time where she had a mate to depend on, children who depended on her, and soon she will have another. She can almost feel the emotions of her friend as she begins to talk about the boys, she nods in agreement. Leaning into her friends appreciation she could not help a small sigh escape her velvety lips. She would be lying if she said it wasn't something she needed to hear, it was nice to know someone cared. She returned the gesture pressing her own comfort and peace into her red cheek. "Just don't leave me again." she chuckled. It is with this she leads into her question.
What does she dream of for Taiga? Lethy takes a few steps through the small regrowth beneath her feet. Her eyes glistening as she looks to the milky blue sky above. "My dreams can sometimes be unreasonable, untouchable, but not what I want for Taiga -- at least I hope not. I want Taiga to be a place where anyone can come to find shelter, sustenance, peace, a friend or many. I want every Taigan to have a voice, to lead together and not be ruled by only one persons "know how". One individual can not know what it best for everyone. I want a place where my kids can grow up knowing that there are places in this world that are not controlled by greed, and power. That the world is not evil, only. I want a place where those I love are safe." the last word fades into the empty between her and @[lilliana] . Her amethyst eyes holds Lilliana's gaze for a moment, "Have you discussed with Leilan yet, our plans?" Her thoughts tumble across the path she and he had traveled, the water fall he had flown her over, and the jump that would leave its mark. Her amethyst eyes darkened a shade as she thought of her quest, a quest started with the intention of protecting Taiga in the absence of all that had protected them. forget me not; but never remember Lethy
08-06-2020, 05:16 PM
(This post was last modified: 08-06-2020, 05:20 PM by lilliana.)
- it's in the eyes, i can tell you will always be danger -
we had it tonight, why do we always seek absolution?
LILLIANA
Lilliana presses her cheek into the warmth (and peace) of the buckskin Matriarch, closing her eyes briefly as her mind calms. The thoughts that crash so often through the crags of her turbulent mind come quieter until the storm passes and when she opens her blue eyes, there are no dark clouds there. There is no gathering tempest, no squalls ready to gust or gale.
They are bright and clear; open to possibility.
"I have no intention of going anywhere," the chestnut states. (She hadn't the first time though, either.) Lilli finds herself looking up with Lethy, tracing the tree canopy above them and admiring the varying shades of green among the conifers. Taiga and her filtered sunlight - when those towering sentinels would permit it passage - always did create an alluring image. Spring was, perhaps, not as obvious in the Northern forest as it was in other parts of Beqanna but it is still Lilliana's favorite. There is always something to appreciate in a fresh start. The pair continue to wander down the trail they walk - flowing around one Redwood, beneath another large fern and Lilliana listens.
An ear keeps company with Lethy's thoughts while the copper mare stays mostly silent as the other speaks.
"You haven't changed your mind on anything we've spoken of, then?" she finally asks. The ideas that the taller mare speaks of had been shared between them, when Lilliana had still thought Taiga was empty. Before-
She subconsciously slows, a reaction to the thought that makes her tense and look abruptly away from the buckskin. The former Ambassador finally stops and turns her head to look up Izora Lethia. "I stand with you. I think that - given the history of leadership Taiga has - the council is the most suitable choice for the Redwoods. If a leader is stolen or goes missing," (Lilli tries to say this as gently as she can, for even if there is a part of her that is upset with Aten for vanishing, he was (is?) the mate of the mare beside her), "Taiga won't suffer." The rest that Lethy says are things that Lilliana easily (and readily) agrees to with a firm nod of her refined head. She wants a place for her children to know that they are safe. That wherever Nashua might roam, he has a place to come back to. That if Yanhua never wants to leave, his home would be here for him. As steadfast and unmoveable as the mighty trees themselves. (And for Aela, her golden girl, too. She wants a home for Aela, even if her misplaced child never needs it.)
The Guardian pauses, "Somewhat. There was much to speak about and I didn't want to discuss the majority of the details without you." Lilliana turns thoughtful and instinctively, her shoulder bends North. Her thoughts already flying to Nerine. Her attention follows that way and the smaller mare lifts her head, a small smile brightening her serious expression. "A Summit, of sorts." Lilliana muses, "With both of us. Leilan. Neverwhere. Eurwen and Brazen and whoever might want to voice their opinions." The voices needed to be heard here, too. A meeting in Taiga was long overdue, she thinks. @[Izora Lethia] was due any day and then after that, would have her days full with a newborn.
Autumn, she thinks. They will come together in the Autumn to raise their voices beneath the sentinels after a summer of warmer weather and sweet grass. (And she says as much to her companion with a teasing glint in her eye and a soft laugh.) There would be much to discuss. The potential of (hopefully) another council member. Brennen and his Magic, the barrier he had created from Nerinian's rocky shore to keep them safe. Pangea and Ghaul with his zealous desire to raze and rise. It makes her think of the other kingdoms. Tephra and Ischia (with another long overdue visit to Velkan and Aquaria). "You went to Loess recently," Lilliana says tentatively. "Was there any news from the South?"
image credit to rigardatta
but it's all in the past, love
it's all gone with the wind
She listens as intently as ever to the words of her friend, clinging to the sweet sound that had been void of the forest for to long. She nodded and agreed where applicable, they had almost always been on the same page especially when it came to Taiga.
As they move slowly and as one through their home she can not help to appreciate this one small act. Her eyes brighten at the thought of a summit, a meeting to start putting all of their plans in motion to better protect the North. Her moves mimic that of her friends, her ear focused on every word between them.
She chews on her lip at the mention of Loess. Her eyes grazing the pockets of sky above before returning to @[lilliana] I did. I met with Lepis, though it was not much of a political meeting more of a personal quest of sorts. She has acquired a new gift, same as I have. She can induce peace on others and the land. She said that since she obtained this new gift they have not had anyone taken away, I worry about her. When she was here her goal was to unite all of Beqanna beneath her. She talked about how deals with devil's and genies had been made to keep Loess safe. I do believe it is safe to say that she is not interested in exposing anything more of Loess and their plans with Taiga."
her lip finds her teeth once more as her thoughts are filled with questions, and worries. We would be nieve to think that because Taiga is growing and the borders have been quiet that the rest of the world has forgotten about us. Lilli, I plan to do something more than a council and a summit to help protect those we love.." she worries about how Lilli will accept the news she had to share. Soon once the babe was born she would be om.her way to the mountain to gain a new gift, her biggest fear is that those she is trying to protect will look at her differently, be scared of her, for going against her very being. forget me not; but never remember Lethy
08-21-2020, 08:02 PM
(This post was last modified: 08-21-2020, 08:57 PM by lilliana.)
- it's in the eyes, i can tell you will always be danger -
we had it tonight, why do we always seek absolution?
LILLIANA
Lilliana is familiar with the Mountain and the petitions a horse can make. The red mare still has sulfur scents of Tephra clinging to her coat as the pair travel down this trail. Warlight had gone to the Mountain with the desire to cancel out the traits of her potentially-gifted opponents. Lilli understands why horses travel to the Mountain but the thought of that place still sits uneasily with her.
It’s not a place she has any desire to see again.
If there wasn’t a need for healing, Lilliana would completely avoid her gifts altogether.
Speaking of Lepis beneath the rooftop of Taiga stirs a thousand ghosts in Lilli’s mind and she struggles to keep them at bay. She’ll never be a mare completely able to hide all of her emotions and there is a shadow of a grimace that crosses her face when the buckskin mare says the name of the former Comtesse aloud. The chestnut mare who had been quiet before falls uncharismatically silent now. She lets @[Izora Lethia] fill it up with the news from Loess - that the Queen of the South had a new gift, that there had been deals brokered with genies and devils and that once upon a time, the goal had been to unify Beqanna.
"I know,” Lilliana says. "Heartfire wasn’t pleased with her plan to move the kingdom seat to Taiga.” What would the Seer think of them moving it to the Isle, she wonders briefly. "And then Loess wanted to claim us as a colony for the South.” They are speaking of ancient history. One they both know well. They lived through it. It’s easier for her to speak of that then what clamors in her head; it’s easier to speak of the political past than the personal one that Lilliana had allowed herself to become so tangled in.
She purses her dark lips together and gives her head a single shake before offering a tight smile to Lethy. "No,” she replies softly and then echoes what Neverwhere had said in Nerine. "I don’t think Loess will want to share much of anything with us.”
Trouble clouds the expression of the Matriach and Lilliana slows to a stop. Before the younger mare can ask what was wrong, the peacemaker explains. Lethy has more in mind besides a Summit and their Council. It’s not a bad thing to have more than one plan, she knows. Not when she has learned that are so many different possibilities for things to go wrong. "What did you have in mind?” she asks calmly, hoping to ease the tension that was suddenly charging the air. The smaller mare summons her smile again, hoping to draw away the unease that was staring so plainly back at her.
image credit to rigardatta
but it's all in the past, love
it's all gone with the wind
It is when she asks what she has in mind that Lethy stops and looks at her dear friend for a moment. An array of emotions were pushing at her edges, wanting to implode on her. If she was going to commit to this she needed to commit fully.
No hesitations.
No regrets.
With a deep breath and unflattering eyes she let's go. "I went to the mountain many moons ago. After the south stole you away, after the attempts on Taiga to stir trouble. When the leadership for Taiga had been contended. Stepping into that field to fight for my home and realizing that there wasn't a damn thing I could do to stop it. I felt pulled to find a way to protect our home and all of those we love."
Her eyes falter now, looking forward to the future of their path and back to days long gone. "You know Aten had done the same thing. He had gone seeking power to keep Taiga safe. I asked the fairies just as much. I asked them for the gift of dragon. I didn't want to return after this babe is born, different in your eyes with out explaining myself." she inhaled sharply her gaze returning to @[lilliana] she didn't let it come now, that lovely relief of peace. She wanted to face however her friend felt clear headedly. forget me not; but never remember Lethy
08-26-2020, 10:34 PM
(This post was last modified: 08-26-2020, 10:39 PM by lilliana.)
- it's in the eyes, i can tell you will always be danger -
we had it tonight, why do we always seek absolution?
LILLIANA
Lilliana stops and then becomes so very eerily, unnaturally still.
@[Izora Lethia] looks to her and for a helpless moment, the copper mare is drowning behind her blues eyes. Is the buckskin looking to her for support? For guidance? For one awful moment, Lilli simply suffocates in the uncertainty. I went to the Mountain, the Matriach says and Lilliana inhales a sharp breath.
The Mountain.
The Heart of their known World and the source of their Magic. The reasons that Lethia shares are so painstakingly similar to Warlight. She understands why the Peacemaker had done it. The start of their Council had been just days in its infancy. The change of leadership was new and the plans that the pair had started to dream between them had been cut short by the theft of the Guardian to Pangea. Lilliana knows that moment of blind panic, of turning and searching and spinning around for help. Of frantically reaching and clinging to the first idea that takes hold.
She would never judge anyone for knowing that moment.
Her wide-eyed gaze diminishes, though, when Lethy falters with her violet one. It slips and instinctively, Lilliana reaches out. A proverbial hand to raise the pregnant mare back up. (Nobody falls in Taiga alone anymore.) Aten had wanted to do the same thing, she says when she speaks again. He had wanted a power to help defend Taiga; he had wanted Magic to keep the Redwoods safe. It's a moment of grim reality, realizing the extent that a soul will go to keep the places and those they love safe.
It's an endless thing and it seems endlessly dangerous when combined with Magic.
Maybe it's because Lilliana still believes the Mountain will smite her if she steps hoof at its base but the chestnut adds, "You will always be my friend, Lethy." She won't add that the Magic won't change her because it very well could. It seems like water to Lilli, the way that Magic moves. A spell or gesture or use of it was like a casting a stone - a ripple sent crashing outward towards a horizon that could yield a realm full of possibilities.
Once upon a time, Lilliana would have marveled that Magic could be a wonderful thing. A gift to whisper to trees. A practical use of healing that might spare a life. An ability to see the Future where the Seer might prevent devastation or desolation.
That time has passed.
"This is why we act as one." Lethy knows well by now for Lilliana's motivations to combine the North. It's something they have talked about and debated and mediated over several times. There was a reason for the Isle and there was a reason for Leilan. (And part of Lilli wonders how she went from such a sheltered girl who had never seen a dragon before Beqanna to living in a kingdom with almost two.) "If anything happens like that again, we strike together."
The determination that took hold of her fades and Lilliana goes unconsciously searching for that peace Lethy so often carries with her. It's been gone for some time and if she dwelled on the thought, she might realize why it is so easy for her emotions to overcome themselves now. "Is there anything you need from me?" she finally asks, fracturing herself apart because there will never be a piece of Lilliana that she wouldn't give away for the benefit of someone else. Her voice quiets, the only way that Lilliana can hold it steady. "Anyway I can help?"
image credit to rigardatta
but it's all in the past, love
it's all gone with the wind
She believes her when she says that she will always be her friend, sees the sympathy and loyalty in the red mares face as she makes sure Lethy doesn’t falter on her own through this challenge. However, she doesn’t miss the way she skirts around the idea of magic.
Lethy had never gone out in search of magic since arriving in Beqanna, until recently, but she had seen her fair share of horses that had gained and been bored with their own gift - her and Lilli included. She hadn’t forgotten those who had fallen into its dark temptations, those who sacrifices courage, loyalty and sympathy... even love, to get the power they so desired. Magic was a fickle thing, she thinks as she remembers her and Leilan’s conversation.
Her eyes harden in determination as Lilli makes her declaration.
The north. We fight as one. We decide as one. We act as one.
It is only when she sees the red mares confidence faulter followed by questions that she reaches out her cheek coming together softly with Lilli’s, glowing fiercely purple next to her autum hide. Her gift of peace drips and fizzles softly from her being always open to those who need it just as she would use her new gift of water dragon mimicry. ”All I need from you my friend is for you to keep me honest. I am no fool to think that magic, especially powerful magic, won’t have it’s pull on me. I just need people to believe in me, because I know that I can handle it and still be who I was intended to be, Matriarch of Taiga. I want to be a mother and a friend, first and formost and I need someone to remind me every once in a while, I should think.” her eyes sparkle as they crinkle in the corners a smile to end such a solemn conversation, the purple glow around her buzzes with her relief. forget me not; but never remember Lethy @[lilliana]
|
