07-19-2020, 06:39 AM
Lilliana has always been... strangely one of the closest friends he's had. He wouldn't say his best friend - he's had a few best friends, and even though some are currently missing in action, that doesn't mean he doesn't care for them in a way. As such, he cannot disregard them, or compare them to someone who is so completely different. Neither is better or worse, just as it is with his children, or their mothers.
One does not exclude the other, though, and his retreat behind the rock is just one of those ways to keep them sort of separated. Just like the red mare knows he has two faces, that doesn't mean that changing in front of someone you know is easy. Although he'd trust her with his weakness that came with the moment of vulnerability, he still might find her watching - her studying of him - difficult to deal with.
When he returns though, his chocolate brown orbs searching her blues, she still asks a most prying question: he knows then that even when she didn't see the shift itself, it was still being rubbed in her face by the change
Does the magic take from him? He tilts his head at her, thinking for a heartbeat, then shakes his head. "It changes as much as I do - taking isn't the word, not even changing, it's more like... adapting." He narrows his eyes at her, scrutinizing her as much as she him. Connecting the dots of where her question came from, and her subsequent curse - she'd never cursed before, not in front of him. "The North can't what?" But he knows the answer. "Trust a dragon?" His eye color already starts changing back, light blue not so much unlike hers - not exactly icy, no; not exactly deep blue either. A middle ground between hurt and offense, perhaps, ears following suit, twitching back and forth insecurely; not settling between his dislike and his inquisitiveness. He should have seen it coming, he supposes. He'd asked for the shifting trait exactly because of this: that distrust that a horse naturally has to a predator. That he could be among them as fully a horse, but change when necessary - and it had been necessary, now or then. To show the world he was not to be messed with.
And yet, apparently the ones closer to him also realized he might not always be what he said he was. Did she not trust him? He'd told Lethy not to - and thus she'd jumped. To test exactly how far she could trust him, see the results on a tiny scale before trusting him with anything larger.
Never mind that he had a heart, and that he could hurt, too.
A deep breath intake follows, his chest heaving slightly with the larger inhale. He steels himself for the rebuttal, waiting for the admittance that is sure to follow - she doesn't know him well enough, she doesn't fully trust him with his changed abilities. He closes his heart - lets the ice creep up his pre-made walls so that whatever she throws as him won't hurt as much.
Because he's seen it before, hasn't he? He is not to be trusted - not with Breckin's love, not with Izora Lethia's trust, not with Castile's friendship, not with Neverwhere's emotions. He can take this - one more to a pre-existing list. Just let it be over with.
Denial. She's not hiding, she says, and he just stares at her, emotionless ice blue going over her features now. "Sure." He cannot sound any more cynical or dry, and she'll most likely hear it. Of course she's hiding - she thinks she'll break under her responsibilities, so she comes to a place where she is alone, where others cannot see. The fact that "she can't" tells him enough; all she needs is to be confronted with that fact. He knows the feeling too well not to have noticed.
Lucky for her, he is an ice-made mirror today - reflecting her distancing with his own. Reflecting her fear of his shifting magic with his fear of being rejected. She doesn't want him around, or worse, they don't, and she's the messenger. He is alone in the world.
A snort follows, cold air from his nostrils though she is not close enough to notice - and it's not cold enough to create snowflakes or the likes as of yet. What good is it having the power to protect, if all it does is create fear and distrust? One might wonder - Leilan knows the answer though.
The fact is, he's not willing to sacrifice his well-being while gaining nothing in return. If he's not wanted, then... well, he's not going to force them to live with him. And so he's mentally preparing himself for the verdict; if she truly can't trust him, he won't force her to live with him on her doorstep.
One does not exclude the other, though, and his retreat behind the rock is just one of those ways to keep them sort of separated. Just like the red mare knows he has two faces, that doesn't mean that changing in front of someone you know is easy. Although he'd trust her with his weakness that came with the moment of vulnerability, he still might find her watching - her studying of him - difficult to deal with.
When he returns though, his chocolate brown orbs searching her blues, she still asks a most prying question: he knows then that even when she didn't see the shift itself, it was still being rubbed in her face by the change
Does the magic take from him? He tilts his head at her, thinking for a heartbeat, then shakes his head. "It changes as much as I do - taking isn't the word, not even changing, it's more like... adapting." He narrows his eyes at her, scrutinizing her as much as she him. Connecting the dots of where her question came from, and her subsequent curse - she'd never cursed before, not in front of him. "The North can't what?" But he knows the answer. "Trust a dragon?" His eye color already starts changing back, light blue not so much unlike hers - not exactly icy, no; not exactly deep blue either. A middle ground between hurt and offense, perhaps, ears following suit, twitching back and forth insecurely; not settling between his dislike and his inquisitiveness. He should have seen it coming, he supposes. He'd asked for the shifting trait exactly because of this: that distrust that a horse naturally has to a predator. That he could be among them as fully a horse, but change when necessary - and it had been necessary, now or then. To show the world he was not to be messed with.
And yet, apparently the ones closer to him also realized he might not always be what he said he was. Did she not trust him? He'd told Lethy not to - and thus she'd jumped. To test exactly how far she could trust him, see the results on a tiny scale before trusting him with anything larger.
Never mind that he had a heart, and that he could hurt, too.
A deep breath intake follows, his chest heaving slightly with the larger inhale. He steels himself for the rebuttal, waiting for the admittance that is sure to follow - she doesn't know him well enough, she doesn't fully trust him with his changed abilities. He closes his heart - lets the ice creep up his pre-made walls so that whatever she throws as him won't hurt as much.
Because he's seen it before, hasn't he? He is not to be trusted - not with Breckin's love, not with Izora Lethia's trust, not with Castile's friendship, not with Neverwhere's emotions. He can take this - one more to a pre-existing list. Just let it be over with.
Denial. She's not hiding, she says, and he just stares at her, emotionless ice blue going over her features now. "Sure." He cannot sound any more cynical or dry, and she'll most likely hear it. Of course she's hiding - she thinks she'll break under her responsibilities, so she comes to a place where she is alone, where others cannot see. The fact that "she can't" tells him enough; all she needs is to be confronted with that fact. He knows the feeling too well not to have noticed.
Lucky for her, he is an ice-made mirror today - reflecting her distancing with his own. Reflecting her fear of his shifting magic with his fear of being rejected. She doesn't want him around, or worse, they don't, and she's the messenger. He is alone in the world.
A snort follows, cold air from his nostrils though she is not close enough to notice - and it's not cold enough to create snowflakes or the likes as of yet. What good is it having the power to protect, if all it does is create fear and distrust? One might wonder - Leilan knows the answer though.
The fact is, he's not willing to sacrifice his well-being while gaining nothing in return. If he's not wanted, then... well, he's not going to force them to live with him. And so he's mentally preparing himself for the verdict; if she truly can't trust him, he won't force her to live with him on her doorstep.
nothing burns like the cold
Leilan
@[lilliana] this went... slightly in a different direction than I thought
Two things I know I can make: pretty kids, and people mad.
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