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  • Beqanna

    COTY

    Assailant -- Year 226

    QOTY

    "But the dream, the echo, slips from him as quickly as he had found it and as consciousness comes to him (a slap and not the gentle waves of oceanic tides), it dissolves entirely. His muscles relax as the cold claims him again, as the numbness sets in, and when his grey eyes open, there’s nothing but the faint after burn of a dream often trod and never remembered." --Brigade, written by Laura


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    Hey there Krieos
    #13
    Here you go!

    Kreios 5+/ 3o / 3- =11

    Post I
    + Good use of sun in post
    + Clear positioning of attack
    + Good/clear explanation of differences in sizes and how that effects the rear and possible counterattacks
    o Might have liked to see a bit more consideration for the possible ways in which Gryffen could have moved, but also appreciate the brevity

    Post II
    + Good description of positioning
    o Curious what the effect of shoving Gryffen’s food into his chest really is….
    + Good counter attack – uses size and position well
    - Would like some description for the alternatives here though – what’s going to happen if Gryffen has already landed? Etc.

    Post III
    - Didn’t need the multiple paragraphs on the slow reflexes.  A quick mention was enough.
    - Krieos is lunging forward while Gryffen is going up – They have to be on pretty level playing field for Gryffen to bite Krieos’ neck – so if Gryffen is in a rear, where exactly is Krieos that he’s aiming for the top of Gryffen’s neck? His advantage would be once Gryffen landed, not as the stallion is rearing – I’m not sure where Krieos exactly in this attack
    o I see where you are going with the attack, and overall it’s a good counter attack, but I’m a little confused with the positioning and even really how biting is all that likely to damage muscle in a fatty part of the neck

    Gryffen 6+ / 1o / 4- =11

    Post I
    + Good mention of the sun/didn’t simply ignore it, but it would affect Gryffen at least a little bit I’d think
    + Good damage, though I might expect the attack to land more on his side then his rump, but I understand the positioning of both horses
    + Good description of how their differences in sizes affects the damage
    - I don’t entirely see how a buck is going to work here– in my head the horses are probably perpendicular at this point, so Gryffen is bucking out sideways? Unless he kept going so he was turned farther than expected, but I’d like to see that made clear
    o I like that you explain some of the possible outcomes, but I found myself having to reread them to totally understand everything – check for typos and clarity

    Post II
    - I am not entirely clear on Gryffen’s position still in this buck – need to be more specific
    - There should be some damage here – skin scraping at least or maybe a bruise – Kreios did connect with Gryffen if he was pushed aside
    - There’s like a 99% chance that by the time Gryffen rears, Krieos has landed and given how much taller Kreios is, the only advantage/chance Gryffen really has of getting to his face is if Krieos has already landed
    + Good description of what biting as an attack is actually good for –distracting

    Post III
    + Good damage here, taking the bite is realistic
    - “Raising him up as he goes” – not totally clear, but sounds like powerplaying here
    + Good counter attack


    Messages In This Thread
    Hey there Krieos - by Gryffen - 08-05-2015, 01:46 PM
    RE: Hey there Krieos - by Kreios - 08-07-2015, 10:42 AM
    RE: Hey there Krieos - by Gryffen - 08-09-2015, 12:03 AM
    RE: Hey there Krieos - by Kreios - 08-11-2015, 08:49 PM
    RE: Hey there Krieos - by Gryffen - 08-11-2015, 09:25 PM
    RE: Hey there Krieos - by Kreios - 08-12-2015, 12:57 PM
    RE: Hey there Krieos - by Gryffen - 08-14-2015, 02:15 PM
    RE: Hey there Krieos - by Kreios - 08-17-2015, 08:15 AM
    RE: Hey there Krieos - by Jeje - 08-19-2015, 10:34 PM
    RE: Hey there Krieos - by Gryffen - 08-21-2015, 08:37 PM
    RE: Hey there Krieos - by Kyra - 08-31-2015, 10:43 AM
    RE: Hey there Krieos - by Jeje - 08-31-2015, 12:33 PM
    RE: Hey there Krieos - by Kyra - 08-31-2015, 12:45 PM
    RE: Hey there Krieos - by Jeje - 08-31-2015, 06:05 PM
    RE: Hey there Krieos - by Kyra - 08-31-2015, 06:17 PM
    RE: Hey there Krieos - by Jeje - 08-31-2015, 06:31 PM
    RE: Hey there Krieos - by Zariah - 09-01-2015, 01:55 PM



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