05-10-2020, 04:15 PM
i think i'm better on my own but i get so lost in you
She does not quite know what to do when faced with forgiveness. She never really knows how to navigate his kindness since she does not have to manipulate it out of him, because he offers it freely and with seemingly no strings attached. She came from a place where nothing was free; not in price, or in motive. There was an underlying reason for everything, always something to be gained, and finding that leverage, whatever it may be, was the only reason anyone did anything.
To be deceitful and cunning was so thoroughly ingrained into her that Thomas’ kindness was met with suspicion, because she still could not fathom how it could possibly be genuine.
It’s confusing for her, then, that one look at his heart and still all she sees is herself.
“Don’t thank me,” her tone is even but the black of her eyes remain unreadable as she stares at him. She wants to re-erect the guards that had been in place before she had unknowingly opened the doors to let him in, because how was she to know that once there he wouldn’t leave? She has seen her mother, seen the way her heart wants everyone and no one all at once, she has seen how she can break and rebuild herself to be everything for someone and then turn back to nothing. Young and foolish she had assumed it was simple, she had thought that she could let Thomas fill some hole inside of her and then turn him loose.
Never did she see herself coming back.
She sees the way his eyes glance momentarily to the noticeable bulge of her barrel, and her face finally softens, allowing a glint of her worry and anticipation to reflect in her eyes and seep into the quiet of her voice when she tells him, “They’re yours.” She doesn’t know how she knows that it will be twins. Maybe because she can feel them both stir and kick, or maybe it’s a maternal intuition. But she does know with unquestionable certainty that they are his.
Finally, she relents and she moves forward, and she presses the galaxy of her skin into the smooth glass of his side. She tucks her head neatly beneath his neck, curving until her cheek rests on his shoulder, the words whispered into the strands of his mane when she asks him, “Will you stay with me?”
To be deceitful and cunning was so thoroughly ingrained into her that Thomas’ kindness was met with suspicion, because she still could not fathom how it could possibly be genuine.
It’s confusing for her, then, that one look at his heart and still all she sees is herself.
“Don’t thank me,” her tone is even but the black of her eyes remain unreadable as she stares at him. She wants to re-erect the guards that had been in place before she had unknowingly opened the doors to let him in, because how was she to know that once there he wouldn’t leave? She has seen her mother, seen the way her heart wants everyone and no one all at once, she has seen how she can break and rebuild herself to be everything for someone and then turn back to nothing. Young and foolish she had assumed it was simple, she had thought that she could let Thomas fill some hole inside of her and then turn him loose.
Never did she see herself coming back.
She sees the way his eyes glance momentarily to the noticeable bulge of her barrel, and her face finally softens, allowing a glint of her worry and anticipation to reflect in her eyes and seep into the quiet of her voice when she tells him, “They’re yours.” She doesn’t know how she knows that it will be twins. Maybe because she can feel them both stir and kick, or maybe it’s a maternal intuition. But she does know with unquestionable certainty that they are his.
Finally, she relents and she moves forward, and she presses the galaxy of her skin into the smooth glass of his side. She tucks her head neatly beneath his neck, curving until her cheek rests on his shoulder, the words whispered into the strands of his mane when she asks him, “Will you stay with me?”
i think i'm better on my own but i'm so obsessed with you
desire
