05-01-2020, 06:41 PM
you got a cold hard truth
i got a bottle of whiskey but i got no proof
She’s about to make @[Elaina] promise no more ledge-dancing. No more windwalking.
Lilliana stands with her delicate head pressed reverently into her cousin's neck and she wants so badly to ask that if she can’t be there to catch her, then she can’t fall. Asking Lilli not to want to protect Elaina is like asking her to stop daring danger; her golden cousin has always been the wildest and brightest places of a blazing sunset, the dazzling light a star gives as it burns its way down to earth.
To ask Elaina to not do these things is to ask her to stop being the very things she loves about her.
She can almost sense her remembering days long gone, days when they stood in lakes and rivers and dreamt about the days they would see oceans instead. Her cousin seems to recall days long gone and in this quiet moment, they seem almost desperate to resurrect it. Days of putting flowers in their manes, teasing Alvaro to light up his serious eyes. The copper mare swears she feels the last of that lost childhood washing out to sea in the frigid current breaking against their ankles but she smiles for Elaina. She will always smile for her cousin. (She still smells like May sunshine, spring grass after all this time.)
It’s physically painful to pull away and the cold night air bites at her, brisk and chill and strong. An ear stays on her while Lilliana looks out, searching the fog for the shadowed outline of waves rolling in. The chestnut is quiet, contemplative while Elaina speaks of how only someone fearless could tell someone they love that they are wrong, that the views from the edge of the world are the most breathtaking.
And she isn’t wrong.
Elaina huddles her palomino form against hers and Lilli finds herself pressing her side into the blonde girl, reaching for her again because this is her cousin and to not reach for has been a habit that she will never outgrow, never be able to unlearn. It’s instinct at this point - Elaina remains as she always has to Lilli. Blood of her blood, bone of her bone and something more. Gales and storms and hurricanes rage in the blood of them both and it seems to only quiet when she comes near, as if the call of their bloodline is the only thing able to drown out generations of noise that sings through them both.
Can she ask Elaina to be more careful on her edges? Years apart and what does she know of her cousin’s shadows? Of the heights she climbs?
Elaina says she wants to be more like her and Lilliana finally lets out a long, slow breath.
"Don’t be like me,” she laments. "You don’t..,” and the Taigan tears herself apart, wondering what she reveals, hating herself that she has to catch herself here too. In her oldest and perhaps most purest of bonds. Her voice drops again, not low but light, weightless on a cold autumn breeze. "They’re not coming back, Elaina.”
Her eyes burn. Lilli blinks them and finds tears building, finds them blurring an already foggy horizon. "Marcelo. Ori. Malachi. Kalina and Roland. Jay. Brielle. Alvaro. Broch. Aislynn. Kildare and Liam and Tarian and the girls..,” your parents, she can’t find the heart to say. My father.
”No matter what happens, they’re never coming back.”
Lifting her eyes to a small crack in the sky, a place where the fog has parted reveals a few silent stars. "I need to know you'll be okay,” she whispers. Lilliana never knew what became of the rest of her family; now that she sees Elaina here, feels her beside her, she knows that she can’t bear to spend a lifetime wondering what happened to her too. Wondering if Frostbane or Ostere or Underworld had caught her in the end. Wondering if something worse managed to find her instead.
Lilliana stands with her delicate head pressed reverently into her cousin's neck and she wants so badly to ask that if she can’t be there to catch her, then she can’t fall. Asking Lilli not to want to protect Elaina is like asking her to stop daring danger; her golden cousin has always been the wildest and brightest places of a blazing sunset, the dazzling light a star gives as it burns its way down to earth.
To ask Elaina to not do these things is to ask her to stop being the very things she loves about her.
She can almost sense her remembering days long gone, days when they stood in lakes and rivers and dreamt about the days they would see oceans instead. Her cousin seems to recall days long gone and in this quiet moment, they seem almost desperate to resurrect it. Days of putting flowers in their manes, teasing Alvaro to light up his serious eyes. The copper mare swears she feels the last of that lost childhood washing out to sea in the frigid current breaking against their ankles but she smiles for Elaina. She will always smile for her cousin. (She still smells like May sunshine, spring grass after all this time.)
It’s physically painful to pull away and the cold night air bites at her, brisk and chill and strong. An ear stays on her while Lilliana looks out, searching the fog for the shadowed outline of waves rolling in. The chestnut is quiet, contemplative while Elaina speaks of how only someone fearless could tell someone they love that they are wrong, that the views from the edge of the world are the most breathtaking.
And she isn’t wrong.
Elaina huddles her palomino form against hers and Lilli finds herself pressing her side into the blonde girl, reaching for her again because this is her cousin and to not reach for has been a habit that she will never outgrow, never be able to unlearn. It’s instinct at this point - Elaina remains as she always has to Lilli. Blood of her blood, bone of her bone and something more. Gales and storms and hurricanes rage in the blood of them both and it seems to only quiet when she comes near, as if the call of their bloodline is the only thing able to drown out generations of noise that sings through them both.
Can she ask Elaina to be more careful on her edges? Years apart and what does she know of her cousin’s shadows? Of the heights she climbs?
Elaina says she wants to be more like her and Lilliana finally lets out a long, slow breath.
"Don’t be like me,” she laments. "You don’t..,” and the Taigan tears herself apart, wondering what she reveals, hating herself that she has to catch herself here too. In her oldest and perhaps most purest of bonds. Her voice drops again, not low but light, weightless on a cold autumn breeze. "They’re not coming back, Elaina.”
Her eyes burn. Lilli blinks them and finds tears building, finds them blurring an already foggy horizon. "Marcelo. Ori. Malachi. Kalina and Roland. Jay. Brielle. Alvaro. Broch. Aislynn. Kildare and Liam and Tarian and the girls..,” your parents, she can’t find the heart to say. My father.
”No matter what happens, they’re never coming back.”
Lifting her eyes to a small crack in the sky, a place where the fog has parted reveals a few silent stars. "I need to know you'll be okay,” she whispers. Lilliana never knew what became of the rest of her family; now that she sees Elaina here, feels her beside her, she knows that she can’t bear to spend a lifetime wondering what happened to her too. Wondering if Frostbane or Ostere or Underworld had caught her in the end. Wondering if something worse managed to find her instead.
LILLIANA
therapy session lmao
but it's all in the past, love
it's all gone with the wind