05-03-2020, 10:12 PM
she wanted what every young heart wanted —
for something beautiful to find her beautiful.
for something beautiful to find her beautiful.
He doesn’t pull away from her like he used to, like she is always afraid he might still do. Instead he lowers his head towards her neck, and she feels his lips press lightly against her skin, and the way it makes her heart jump she is afraid she might shatter everything around them. Instead she just exhales, and it is a quivering, breathless sound when she leans into him. There is a strange ache in her chest, one that clenches first at the core of her heart before spreading out through the network of her veins. It is an ache that feels warm like love but sharp like hurt all at once, and she doesn’t know which one to give power to.
He asks about her family, and the hurt wins, this time.
“Are you asking about my family, or my mother?” She whispers as she withdraws from him, and had the words come from a mouth like Starsin’s they would have been sharp and hot, spat with the intent of sparking an argument. But from Lilt they are soft and bruised, and her silver eyes reflect all of her doubts and insecurities when she casts her gaze to the ground. “I’m sorry, Lie. I didn’t mean to say that.” Her heart flutters nervously in her chest, afraid that she had just lengthened the imaginary divide between them. “They’re fine. And I wish….” She trails off, swallowing the bitter taste of tears in her throat, wondering if she can even finish what she’s trying to say. “I wish things were normal. I wish I didn’t feel like you seeing my mom with my dad, and all my brothers and sisters, would make you realize I’m not really the one that you want.”
She lifts her tear-brimmed eyes to his face again, and she confesses with a trembling, watery laugh, “I’m so, so afraid of you realizing you don’t want me.”
He asks about her family, and the hurt wins, this time.
“Are you asking about my family, or my mother?” She whispers as she withdraws from him, and had the words come from a mouth like Starsin’s they would have been sharp and hot, spat with the intent of sparking an argument. But from Lilt they are soft and bruised, and her silver eyes reflect all of her doubts and insecurities when she casts her gaze to the ground. “I’m sorry, Lie. I didn’t mean to say that.” Her heart flutters nervously in her chest, afraid that she had just lengthened the imaginary divide between them. “They’re fine. And I wish….” She trails off, swallowing the bitter taste of tears in her throat, wondering if she can even finish what she’s trying to say. “I wish things were normal. I wish I didn’t feel like you seeing my mom with my dad, and all my brothers and sisters, would make you realize I’m not really the one that you want.”
She lifts her tear-brimmed eyes to his face again, and she confesses with a trembling, watery laugh, “I’m so, so afraid of you realizing you don’t want me.”
l i l t
