[private] oh me oh my, i thought it was a dream... [lilli]

[Kagerus]

K

oh me oh my, i thought it was a dream...

Escape to where? I've been running my entire life. I came to Beqanna to stop.

Change hurries my answer away in the form of churning cosmos; from above, everything becomes clear... yet the drop consumes us.

Malachi. His name rings in my mind's ears to the tune of Lilliana's voice; what remains of me here flinches. Svedka, I hear a different voice say. The part of Solace that lives in my heart churns at the connection she feels between the silver stallion and the liver mare: if anyone understood the strength of a sibling connection, it was Solace. And yet I find myself thinking of a brother, too. Khaedrik. The name of a shadow, father, uncle, grandather in one: Khaedrik. His childlike figure flits across our eyelids as gilded darkness across the night sky. The triumvirate of brothers suffocate my original purpose in bringing us here.

What if you forget to dream? A light snaps on for a split second, a lightning strike's beam followed by the swallowing darkness once more. The shadows continue, the brothers hum. Lilliana's afterimage burns where I saw her standing: Girl-like: Swollen. I'm reminded of my own first pregnancy and I vomit into the abyss. Does this still work?

(Does this still work?)
You don't need to be here.
(Does this still work?)
I've been through worse before.
(And yet it would be nice to be one with the nothingness.)
Maybe so but death could not hold me once.
(Abandonment of oneself is the essence of transcendence... The lines you've drawn to identify yourself are erasable. We are one.)
That may be so but I have no story there.
(...)
That may be so but I HAVE NO STORY THERE.
(...)
(...)
(...)

Choke-wet gasps greet my remerged consciousness. As the darkness recedes and the cosmic seizure subsides, I feel for Lilliana, unsure of what she experienced as I'd sunk into my own dream; nothing, probably, or else so much that her mind reset to the last tangible thought she had. Either way. As my heaving chest slows, I bring about a pale blue and green backdrop for us to exist in. Watercolor. A weight bestowed with my essence comes to rest on my friend's heart, warm and benign.

"Please don't ask me that again."

Deep inhale.

"Lilli," I start again, removing the weight be leaving the warmth, "The past is tantamount here and the future infinite. But we are now, as much as our hearts call to the abyss..."

I shake my head. The darkness clears from around my eyes and again I see her; she sticks this time. "Lilliana -- there are two people I think you'd like to meet. They are fixtures of the present and of the future." I find her gaze and bend my will to keep it. A ground materializes beneath our hooves and the green and blue separate accordingly. "Are you ready for that?" A hazy blue and silver figure looms close to her shoulder; he leans across and brushes his sister's shoulder. The other brothers have left, barred from this dream as I remaster my control of this alternate reality.

I cannot guess at what Lilliana's dream has been like since entering this place; I can only hope that she has joined me here, grounded despite our suspended existence.

This is a MESS Evangelion has srsly been fucking me up and it shows......... enjoy @[lilliana]