Kagerus leans into her and Lilliana smiles easily, reassured by the familiarity of the former Caretaker and finding herself relaxing more for each moment spent in her company. It has always been uncomplicated with the dreamweaver and this time is no different than the others - Lilliana falls into a familiar stride with her, eager to show off the wonder that is the Taiga (where the fog rolls into play during the warmer months, where the trees are the proudest, where its rocky shore boasts a coastline that brings new secrets with each tide).
Beqanna boasts many beautiful places, holds many treasured spots but for Lilliana this is home. And there is something special about sharing this place with Kagerus - perhaps one of the closest bonds she has made here. It’s a moment of pride - to show her the future she has been working towards and the place that she poured so much of herself into. The overo mare winks at her and Lilli laughs, girlish and blithe. Affection softens her gaze and warms the luminous smile that beams back at her.
She looks very much like her old self - the one who wasn’t complicated and tangled and torn. For this moment, she is bright and vivacious and vibrant.
Lilliana merely shakes her head, mirth illuminating behind her blue eyes. ”May the Winds help Beqanna if you ever decide to take up politics again.” There is a flash of something mischievous there, knowing full well of Kagerus’ history and the heights that she and Solace once accomplished. If they ever aspired too again, there is no doubt in her mind that they could. It’s a lingering thought that hangs in the back of her mind - wondering what Kagerus might have made of the current state of affairs in the East. (Another conversation for another day, perhaps.)
Still, the thought of Hyaline twists at her heart. A longing writes itself on her face, a remembrance of what that place had once meant to her.
It doesn’t last long and instead, Lilliana looks earnestly to the mare she considers a mentor, a maternal figure in her life. Kagerus - much like Neverwhere and Brazen and Velkan - is the closest thing she has to a semblance of a family and what the two-toned mare has to say is something that Lilliana heeds closely. Her companion laughs and Lilli feels the smile pausing a moment, wondering how much more of trouble she should allude to - both political and personal. She doesn’t mean to softly ask, ”Escape to where?”
The chestnut mare shakes her head, still teasing, still playful but there is a hint of seriousness (and ache) when she adds, ”I’ve been running my entire life. I came to Beqanna to stop.”
Beqanna had been her escape.
And then there it is again - the axis of her world shifting. It's different from the way that it has happened before and yet familiar. She has been to this dimension before with Kagerus and Lilliana had illuminated everything she had ever loved to the dreamweaver. Whole cosmos and realities had been opened to her, a whole realm of possibilities and Lilli had only wanted the riverbend that taught her to laugh. The place where she had learned to trade secrets with the clouds and learned that a horse didn’t need wings to see the world from above.
When the world shifts again, it is a fierce and empty ache that rips through her soul.
It’s a haze and the figures haven’t yet been molded - they still wait for the command from Kagerus. But one, one doesn’t need to take shape. He is brave and noble and silver. He needs no shape or form - Lilliana would know him anywhere. The curve of his cheek is proud, the arch of his neck is august and even though the piercing darkness of his mocha eyes haven’t yet taken hold, Lilli can see them. Dark eyes that have sparkled with amusement. And his smile - it is a mirror shared between siblings, his had been so similar to her own. A lopsided grin that could ease the weight of the world on anyone’s shoulders.
Malachi.
The brother who had saved her so many times - who had taken her on patrols when there had been no playmates her age, who had told her ’keep a ready ear and easy smile’ when a yearling Lilliana hadn’t yet understood that those who had suffered might have barriers and walls to hide behind and who had comforted her when she had tried to understand why someone had hurt her beloved Orani, when someone took something she wasn’t ready to give. It had been him she had leaned into when she hadn’t understood the darkness.
And there had been so much of it then.
The world refuses to fully immaterialize and yet Lilli knows he is there, can feel it with every certainty that Kagerus uses to craft and create and dream.
There is something else she knows too - another certainty she can feel with the weight of a gravity that keeps her standing in silence until she can no longer bear it. "What if you forget to dream?” she asks the creator, ”Does this still work?” And then she nearly chokes, her eyes shining with unshed tears and so many worries. With all the things that Lilliana realized she has been so terrified of.
@[Kagerus] hi you get a novel and perhaps the most emotional i have ever seen her. enjoy.
Beqanna boasts many beautiful places, holds many treasured spots but for Lilliana this is home. And there is something special about sharing this place with Kagerus - perhaps one of the closest bonds she has made here. It’s a moment of pride - to show her the future she has been working towards and the place that she poured so much of herself into. The overo mare winks at her and Lilli laughs, girlish and blithe. Affection softens her gaze and warms the luminous smile that beams back at her.
She looks very much like her old self - the one who wasn’t complicated and tangled and torn. For this moment, she is bright and vivacious and vibrant.
Lilliana merely shakes her head, mirth illuminating behind her blue eyes. ”May the Winds help Beqanna if you ever decide to take up politics again.” There is a flash of something mischievous there, knowing full well of Kagerus’ history and the heights that she and Solace once accomplished. If they ever aspired too again, there is no doubt in her mind that they could. It’s a lingering thought that hangs in the back of her mind - wondering what Kagerus might have made of the current state of affairs in the East. (Another conversation for another day, perhaps.)
Still, the thought of Hyaline twists at her heart. A longing writes itself on her face, a remembrance of what that place had once meant to her.
It doesn’t last long and instead, Lilliana looks earnestly to the mare she considers a mentor, a maternal figure in her life. Kagerus - much like Neverwhere and Brazen and Velkan - is the closest thing she has to a semblance of a family and what the two-toned mare has to say is something that Lilliana heeds closely. Her companion laughs and Lilli feels the smile pausing a moment, wondering how much more of trouble she should allude to - both political and personal. She doesn’t mean to softly ask, ”Escape to where?”
The chestnut mare shakes her head, still teasing, still playful but there is a hint of seriousness (and ache) when she adds, ”I’ve been running my entire life. I came to Beqanna to stop.”
Beqanna had been her escape.
And then there it is again - the axis of her world shifting. It's different from the way that it has happened before and yet familiar. She has been to this dimension before with Kagerus and Lilliana had illuminated everything she had ever loved to the dreamweaver. Whole cosmos and realities had been opened to her, a whole realm of possibilities and Lilli had only wanted the riverbend that taught her to laugh. The place where she had learned to trade secrets with the clouds and learned that a horse didn’t need wings to see the world from above.
When the world shifts again, it is a fierce and empty ache that rips through her soul.
It’s a haze and the figures haven’t yet been molded - they still wait for the command from Kagerus. But one, one doesn’t need to take shape. He is brave and noble and silver. He needs no shape or form - Lilliana would know him anywhere. The curve of his cheek is proud, the arch of his neck is august and even though the piercing darkness of his mocha eyes haven’t yet taken hold, Lilli can see them. Dark eyes that have sparkled with amusement. And his smile - it is a mirror shared between siblings, his had been so similar to her own. A lopsided grin that could ease the weight of the world on anyone’s shoulders.
Malachi.
The brother who had saved her so many times - who had taken her on patrols when there had been no playmates her age, who had told her ’keep a ready ear and easy smile’ when a yearling Lilliana hadn’t yet understood that those who had suffered might have barriers and walls to hide behind and who had comforted her when she had tried to understand why someone had hurt her beloved Orani, when someone took something she wasn’t ready to give. It had been him she had leaned into when she hadn’t understood the darkness.
And there had been so much of it then.
The world refuses to fully immaterialize and yet Lilli knows he is there, can feel it with every certainty that Kagerus uses to craft and create and dream.
There is something else she knows too - another certainty she can feel with the weight of a gravity that keeps her standing in silence until she can no longer bear it. "What if you forget to dream?” she asks the creator, ”Does this still work?” And then she nearly chokes, her eyes shining with unshed tears and so many worries. With all the things that Lilliana realized she has been so terrified of.
@[Kagerus] hi you get a novel and perhaps the most emotional i have ever seen her. enjoy.
but it's all in the past, love
it's all gone with the wind