[private] it seems that everything i love is so far away; lie

[Dawn]

DAWN

it must be about as hard as forgetting your best friend

She has been fairly distant from everything lately – she feels as though she is more of a figurehead than an actual ruling queen, but she finds that recently she feels no desire to include herself with politics, mostly letting Litotes take the reins and lead the East to where it needs to be. She supports him in every decision that he makes and their friendship has not wavered, but she has been focusing her attention on where it is needed most – her youngest children, sweet Darkling and mischievous Ghaul. The young boy follows at his father’s side most days, but she has grown quite fond of the eyeless boy who would rather destroy rabbits and collect odd knick knacks than do more... normal things. As odd as he is, she adores him, and considers him a son of her own. 

As ever, her mind wanders to Rhaegor and that night in the river, and she aches for what she cannot have. He is a drifter, always in and out, and she misses him so deeply that some days, it hurts to breathe. All the golden girl has ever wanted was to love someone and feel that love so purely in return, but no matter what she does her desire for Sunny never seems to wane, and if she is hung up on him for all of eternity... she doesn’t deserve the pure love from another. 

But she just knows, that if this life stretches on until the sun splits apart and swallows them whole, she will love him still. 

It breaks her to pieces to even think about. 

It is there that her coruler will find her, curled up in the blinding sun that scorches the dry Pangean lands, longing for something that was never meant to be. She wonders if he will be mad at her, for being so entirely absent over the last long months, and she truly has no excuse to give him. She won’t blame him if he is – she has been a rotten queen, and maybe all she needs is a good verbal lashing to rise out of this slump she can’t seem to escape on her own.

@[litotes] sorry she's depresso

[litotes]

litotes

i always wanted to die clean and pretty
but i'd be too busy on working days

His love is a fickle thing, this Litotes knows. The Archon leans into that piece of himself, handing out shards of his heart as if they are worth no more than a penny. He knows that he cannot follow through on that love, not like he used to and not like he would like to. There was a time when he was guarded but optimistic—levels of scorn have cemented his heart, though, and all the love he has to give is weak and transparent.

They know, too—his children and his partners. They can sense that emptiness, the shell of a man he once was.

None know it better than Dawn, this he is sure of, and he tries hard to care.

Litotes cannot bring himself to be bitter about her absence. He knows that her recent months have been rough, and he knows he has never been one that finds it easy to share. Of course, he considers her his confidant and equal, but he likes making decisions and then running them by the palomino queen. That, and he feels too guilty to ask much of her. They used each other up, the Archon and the Queen, and anymore they may ask of each other feels hollow.

So, when he finds his co-ruler and occasional nest-mate curled beneath a cruel autumn sun, his heart clenches in his chest. He sighs, typically empty eyes welling with sorrow and exhaustion. How their past years have mirrored each other, something the cremello takes solace in. He must be strong, though—this he knows as he quietly walks to the shrunken woman.

“Dawn,” he whispers, then gently drifts his muzzle along her side. Litotes drifts to the ground by her back, tucking her into him with a drop of his head to her shoulder. “I’m tired, too.”

@[Dawn] it ok they be sad together