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    version 22: awakening


    OCEANE -- Year 208


    "Because if she had not met him, she knew she would have been searching her whole life for the piece that he filled her heart with." -- Eva, written by Shelbi

    [private]  Starsin;

    no one really knows what the ocean hides
    but you and I, bird, we’re gonna find out

    Was it a mistake?

    Reia didn’t understand repercussions. She watched her parents press lovingly against one another, and she pieced everything else together. That must be love then, right?

    So why did it seem so awkward and detached?

    Pteron’s eyes were confused while hers were focused in trying to understand and match the bond that her parents have. It was only once. Just once. No one had to know, she mused, but as the months progressed, Reia noticed the changes in her body that startled her to her core.

    Mother and father will be enraged, she assumes, which is why she slips from beneath Loess’ grasp into a forest she has never known. The deciduous trees rise high overhead like guardians. She blinks slowly and she presses into the bosom of the territory, losing herself in her thoughts while ambling through small creek beds and across fallen leaves. A wintry chill nips at her, but an inner flame keeps her warm – keeps whatever is inside her warm. Little does she know that twins are growing within her – constant reminders of her actions.

    Starsin’s scent is prominent. They’ve never met. They are more or less strangers, and yet Reia threads along the forest in search of her as the sunlight dapples from the canopy above. Although never having formally met, Reia knows of her; how can she not know of father’s advisor? Her name is permanently sketched into Loess’ history critical to its future. ”Starsin,” her voice is sharply edged, lacking the silver tongue and amiability of her kin. Brusquely, she dives into conversation once their eyes meet. ”The name’s Reia, Castile’s daughter,” there are more of us, she considers, but they do not matter – not now. Her stomach twists as she attempts to steer the conversation more eloquently, but words quickly fail her, just like her inhibitions.

    With a sigh of resignation, Reia breaches the subject in her typical manner. ”You’ve been pregnant a lot… what do you do?” Her jagged teeth click together in uncertainty, in thought. ”I think I’m pregnant, but… only you know. So don’t tell.” Her brows furrow and her lip curls in a flickering snarl of threat. It simmers quickly, the threat lying idle beneath the surface as a quiet pause swallows them. For a moment, Reia only hears the crackling of the fire along her crest. ”I don’t have a clue what I’m doing.” The confession sinks her confidence, drooping her shoulders and eyes as her thoughts swim (drown).  

    and I'll be next to you when the lights go out



    and let me crawl inside your veins. I'll build a wall, give you a ball and chain.

    The unfamiliar thoughts of another snaked through the trees like a whisper, and Starsin was aware of the visitor’s presence long before the flame-haired girl came into sight. She recognizes her almost immediately as one of Castile’s children, but her name escapes her. Despite the familiarity, she approaches her with the same guardedness as she does most visitors, with shielded eyes and a neutral expression. She considered Castile a friend, but that did not automatically extend to his family. Trust was something Starsin had only a small amount of, and it was not given freely.

    She nearly arches an eyebrow at the sharp way the younger girl says her name, and it is only because of the comradery between herself and the girl’s sire that she does not raise her own sword. “Reia,” she repeats her name, her own voice remaining even despite the way her cobalt-blue eyes narrowed just slightly. There is a whisper of suspicion in the back of her mind, wondering if Castile had sent his daughter to spy on her. That didn’t seem like him, however. If he was curious how Sylva was, or if he had any doubts of her loyalty, she is sure she would have heard from him directly. 

    Before she can delve into Reia’s mind to confirm anything, she is rushing headlong into the heart of why she is here. Starsin’s shield briefly falters, entirely caught off guard. This was the last thing she had expected anyone to come to her about. Straightening her shoulders and wiping the surprise from her face, she starts with a certain clip to her words, “Okay first of all, I have not been pregnant ‘a lot’, it’s only been three times.” One of those times was an affair that resulted in twins, but that hardly mattered and was not the point.

    But the look of confusion and uncertainty on Reia’s face softens her, and when she breathes a sigh it releases the tense way she had been holding herself. “No one knows what they’re doing, or at least, not the first time.” Starsin had been incredibly lucky, but without knowing the situation between Reia and the father of her children, she doesn’t want to say as much. She had been terrified the first time she was pregnant, because she knew nothing of what it was like to be raised in a real family. If it hadn’t been for Ophanim she isn’t sure what she would have done. And even though her twins with Lie had not been born under the best circumstances, she still couldn’t ask for a better father to them. She never had to do anything on her own, unless she secluded herself by choice.

    “I thought I was going to be a terrible mother, but it turns out, it’s one of the only things I’m actually good at,”  she says almost wryly, referring to how nearly everything else she handles falls apart. She pauses for a moment, regarding her carefully, before venturing to ask, “Are you going to tell the father?”


    it’s not like me to be so mean. you’re all I wanted.
    ( just let me hold you Like a hostage. )


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