[private] i leave you my dust and bones; Raed

[Osyva]

If she could peer into his mind, the way he fingers so gently through hers, perhaps the mystery that haunts her and keeps her pinned like butterfly wings to his soul would be gone. Maybe she would know not to feel sorry for wandering because he is a wanderer too. But she does not know. She is as deaf to his thoughts as the stone is deaf to the sea. There is so much she does not know, and perhaps it is better this way. Oblivious to those things that would bleed her heart until there was nothing but an empty husk within her chest - those things that would turn her sweet innocence into consuming jealousy. Perhaps it is better this way. How she has longed to feel his touch again, and when it comes she devours his warmth like a starved child. He tells her not to be sorry - that’s he’s happy that she and their daughter are safe. Osyva wonders how he can be so forgiving when she has spent the past two years blaming herself for having lost him in the fray. Wasn’t it so like her to disappear anyway? Since her parent’s deaths she’d never stayed anywhere for long. Even when they were alive her time had been split traveling between two kingdoms. Her home was nowhere - caught somewhere in between - never quite belonging. But, when he touches her, she feels it: that belonging. She can’t help but wonder if it is real. “Please let it be.” she pleads silently. She’d be content to stay in this silence forever - to sleep beneath the dappled shade and just be with him. But two years apart is a long time to just go back to the way things were. She would give anything to steal back the time they’ve lost, but she can’t. So, she simply says, “I am still yours.” A hushed whisper against the blue of his hide. She wants to promise that she’ll never leave again. She wants to confess the words that beat at her ribcage, “I love you.” But she doesn’t.

@[Raed]