and let me crawl inside your veins. I'll build a wall, give you a ball and chain.
She cannot explain the feeling of foreboding that had taken over her.
Loess has never been a quiet kingdom. Not for as long as she had been apart of it, at least. They had tangled themselves in countless quarrels, or created them where none had existed. She couldn’t pretend that it didn’t excite her, nor could she act like she regretted holding as many healers as they could. She would never regret them doing whatever they could to protect their unsheltered kingdom. They were not one of the chosen safelands, and once they had taken one, then two, and then three, it had simply snowballed.
The passing of the crown to Leliana left her feeling uneasy. She had never found Vulgaris’ lover to be weak, no matter how soft and compliant she had been. It had always perplexed her that the mare had remained such a cooperative prisoner, though she assumed Vulgaris himself played a part in that. When she had parted from Loess to accept her place on her new throne in Tephra, Starsin had watched her depart with a suspicion that lingered long after the mare was gone. Something in the new queen seemed different; more stoic, almost unfeeling, as though a switch had been flipped. Vulgaris had noticed too, as Starsin had detected in his thoughts in passing.
Something was coming, and even though Loess as a kingdom was prepared for whatever that may be (they had their dragons and fire-breathers, and their allies), Starsin was not.
When she comes to the mountain, she isn’t entirely sure of her intention. She has never been the kind to ask for anything, and certainly she has never been one to admit that she had a weakness. She has learned to use her mind reading in a way that benefited her the most – although it also earned her plenty of enemies. Secretly, she was a little proud of what she able to accomplish purely based on listening to other’s thoughts. She preyed on their weaknesses and fed their strengths, and most often she was successful in attaining her personal gain. But against physical strengths, such as dragons and predatory shifters, it would get her nowhere. She knew she could not always rely on others to protect her, even though she has carefully surrounded herself with those that could, and would.
It was not just for herself that she comes here, though. It is for Ophanim and Malone. Ophanim was capable of defending himself; she knew that, and yet it did nothing to change the fierce overprotectiveness that she felt when she looked at him. She has always been the colder, sharper one of the two of them. With his halo of light and gilded coloring, and those brilliantly blue eyes and a smile so soft it could stop even her in her tracks, she despised the idea of him ever having to be any other way. And Malone, her impossibly gorgeous and just as sweet baby boy – he was defenseless against anyone and anything at this young age.
She isn’t sure how far she has to go, but something tells her she will know when to stop. And so she climbs, loose rocks and stones tumbling down the mountainside as she walks a well-worn but unforgiving path that twists and turns up the mountainside. The air becomes thinner, her star-dapples glittering even through the hazy mist that wraps around the mountain like a gossamer veil. Time suddenly doesn’t seem to exist, and the only reason she knows she has been walking for what seems like a terribly long time is the way in which her legs tremble and her chest feels tight when she reaches the top.
She isn’t sure what she had expected to see when she finally reached the summit, but there is no one. She stands there for a moment, still and glowing, with hardly even a breeze to stir the black forelock that falls before her dark blue eyes. “I don’t really know why I’m here,” and she is sure this mountain has heard those very words a hundred times, but they ring with such a truth that she cannot deny them, “But I want...something. Something so that I could help, and protect them, should I ever need to.” She does not say that it is a need; she knows it is a desire, and not a necessity, no matter how strongly it feels like it is. She knows that should it ever come to it, she would die for Ophanim or Malone; but she didn’t want to go down weak and defenseless when doing it.
starsin
it’s not like me to be so mean. you’re all I wanted.
( just let me hold you Like a hostage. )
@[Officials]
Per discord conversation with Leah, Starsin has been approved for the trait of shattering.
