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    version 22: awakening


    GHAUL -- Year 209


    "(souls are not meant to live more than once — death was not meant to be temporary, and she is so sure that every time her heart starts to beat again that irreversible damage is further inflicted)" -- Anonya, written by Colby

    pray for the wicked
    Deep down all you want is love
    The pure kind we all dream of

    It shouldn’t have happened, but it did. There had been anger, regret, and lost passion in those moments. For years, Shiya just wanted to be enveloped in his love and adoration. When he was atop her this final time, she closed her eyes to imagine something more beautiful, to see them as lovers. There was potential – two monsters twisted into each other – but just as she told Leliana that she wasn’t meant to be with Vulgaris, neither was she.

    Pain stabs into her sides. She has been carrying her – their – child long enough, but she doesn’t turn herself to the meadow or forest to deliver. Instead, with her eyes desperately hollow, Shiya stares ahead and slowly travels to the beach. A decision has already been made. Even as her heart trembles at the idea, she knows it is best.

    Sand caresses her when she finally lies down. Corpses litter the shoreline as do sun-bleached bones. Shiya distantly sweeps her viridian eyes across each of them before finding the horizon. The clouds kiss the far line of the ocean and the sunlight glistens on the water’s surface. ”So beautiful,” Shiya whispers to herself before closing her eyes and pushing against the contractions until a child lies behind her. Nothing could have prepared her for the color that meets her eyes. It’s almost looking at the embodiment of the beach’s looming sunset – turquoise and teal waters dancing with the scarlets and pinks of the fading light. A smile, weak in both mind and body, shakes across the thin lines of her mouth. ”Skaide,” she names the girl because everyone deserves to have an identity, even in death. The newborn writhes and peeks up at her mother for the very first time. Slit pupils drink in the sight of an exhausted face, and when she blinks, she sees how the mother’s blood pulses beneath her skin.

    ”Skaide,” the girl echoes while adjusting herself to better face the mother, not yet trying to stand. Her stare is almost hypnotized, intense but similarly hollow and distant. Shiya rises to her feet to turn and lower her head. A sweet kiss is pressed to the child’s head. ”We women are fools. We love only to be hurt in the end. There is no real happiness. I won’t let you suffer like I have…” Death would be easier than the misery Shiya has endured her entire life. Extending her jaws, she hovers her mouth over the newborn’s neck, preparing to sink her teeth into her and poison her.

    Anything is better than this cruel world.
    Even death.

    But Skaide is already poised with her head delicately lifted and her eyes still focused on the mother’s pulse. She provided life to her, but there is no emotional attachment between them. No necessity for her.

    Just as Shiya prepares to take her daughter’s life, to spare her from grief, Skaide lunges and punctures mother’s skin. As a newborn, however, she has no control over the venom dispensed in the single bite. There’s no stopping its easy flow as it spreads like fire through Shiya’s veins. Within minutes, her body lies limp on the ground next to the child.

    Blinking slowly, the girl looks at the setting sun with a curious tilt of her head. Just within the first hour of life, she has learned to destroy anything that wants to harm her, that she can only ever trust and love herself. With a deep sigh, she once again echoes her name, burning it into her memory while letting go of mother.

    Here lies Shiya, lovechild of Dillan and Larva
    She only ever wanted a happily ever after, but it was never meant to be.
    Garbage and Vulgaris were her deepest attempts at love.
    Magnus was the only kind heart to remember her and make her feel special.
    Despair is the only child she ever loved.

    May she finally find peace.


    But we cannot escape the past,
    so you and I will never last

    original html by Jassal
    Sweet daughter, I should have been there for you. I should have been there.
    - Larva

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