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  • Beqanna

    COTY

    Assailant -- Year 226

    QOTY

    "But the dream, the echo, slips from him as quickly as he had found it and as consciousness comes to him (a slap and not the gentle waves of oceanic tides), it dissolves entirely. His muscles relax as the cold claims him again, as the numbness sets in, and when his grey eyes open, there’s nothing but the faint after burn of a dream often trod and never remembered." --Brigade, written by Laura


    holiday party; kharon and merry
    #1

    She is quiet when she reaches over to press her nose against the neck of her beautiful lavender companion, inhaling the sweet scent of his skin with a smile soft against her lips. Can you believe this? She wonders at him, shaping a kiss against his neck before she leans back to survey the forest around them. 

    It is so impossibly beautiful, so magical and bright. The usually warm island is now covered in white, glowing snow, with snowflakes still falling through the branches of the trees overhead. It isn’t the whole island, because though they had Tiphon’s blessing for this, it hadn’t seemed right to overwhelm any of the citizens who preferred the quiet and solitude of this sanctuary territory. This was meant to bring joy to the many who needed it, some merriness to a dark, broken world.

    She smiles again, shifts closer to Kharon to rub her cheek against his shoulder, then reaches over to draw Merry closer again, too. “I hope they enjoy this.” The horses of Beqanna, she means, though she is watching her twins play together. Bounding through piles of snow, her wild Dustov blasting snowflakes with beams of light as Dark paws them from the air with delicate hooves, refusing to be left out. They seem to like the snow, perhaps more so the magic of it, the way the Island air remains nearly warm and temperate. “Fox really outdid himself.”

    But he isn’t the only one who has contributed to the festivities, providing the snow and the sparkling ice sculptures. There are others with their own gifts. Healers and magicians, her brother willing to teleport guests in safely from the furthest lands. And her own lights, of course. A twilight bridge with the help of Scorch, stretching from the island to the mainland for those who would prefer not to swim, and much lesser lights twinkling along the shore and in the leaves of every tree touched by snow.

    She wears them, too. In her mane and in her tail, nestled glowing pinpricks scattered throughout the blue of her dark, mottled skin. So does Kharon, not that she’d allowed him much of a say, or that he even needed them to look so beautiful on this festive night. But she’d braided them into his mane and tail, too, had outlined every single feather in each of those breathtaking wings she loved so much. Even Dustov wore some of her light, bright flecks of it buried among his stars to make them shine so brilliantly. Dark hadn’t needed them, was lit by the armor she had inherited from her father and the light she had inherited from her mother. Only Merry had refused, looking so beautiful draped in the velvet dark of contrasting shadow.

    She nuzzles Merry’s neck beneath his mane, fussing absently in a reflex that has only grown stronger in her in the past few months. “What do you think, baby?” She murmurs so soft against his neck, watching Dark abandon her brother to race after a large, bounding hare Luster felt quite certain was made entirely of snow. He has seemed so quiet lately, so reserved, and she worries about him. Worries that there have been too many changes in such a short time. Losing their home to the plague, gaining two very bonded siblings no one had seen coming. Maybe it was more than her gentle boy knew how to handle, too much to adjust to.

    Her mind reaches for Kharon though, a gentle affectionate push, an easy smile on her lips when her eyes settle so dark and quiet on his face. You look beautiful, Khar.

    — Luster —
    so we let our shadows fall away like dust ;
    Reply
    #2
    kharon

    oh baby, I have not been kind

    She was beautiful. With each soft touch she had for him, he returned one for her. A brush against her neck or her cheek. They were so evenly matched that he couldn't seem to stop himself. His family had always been so affectionate. Not quite his mom, but the rest of them. It just came so naturally and instead of making her uncomfortable, she seemed to enjoy it as much as he did. So he obviously didn't stop.

    "Fox really outdid himself."

    He hummed absently, didn't really know the guy. Maybe he'd meet him later. Right about now he was completely fine with how things were going. He stole a glance to Kali though, always aware of where she was. How far away from him she was.

    Her attention once again shifted to the boy at her side, half Kharon's age or so. Cimmerian. He was dark in more ways than one. Even his thoughts were deep and meaningful, but depressed. A blank expression was nearly his constant as far as Kharon had seen so far tonight, and he didn't have much reaction to his mom's affections. The boy's thoughts were elsewhere, blocking things out to protect himself.

    You look beautiful, Khar.

    He pulled back and beamed at her, grey eyes dazzling. His head dipped to kiss the tip of her cute nose, then her cheek. You are the most beautiful, Luster. He glanced at Merry again, then tried to coax her away. Come on. Let's go dance now, beautiful. I wanna show you off to the world. His wings lifted in flirtatious flare and his neck arched gracefully, showing off for her in return. He knew she wasn't really into him, not like that. It was someone else she thought of so frequently. The bloody man of bone he remembered from when he was little and growing up in Ischia, the Magician's Soldier.

    Come be my baby tonight, he teased, snaking out to clip a soft bite on her neck and dance away from her, his eyes bright.

    I wish I could scrape away the dirt that's on my mind

    Quotes are speech. Italics are telepathy
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    #3

    He was staring out as they walked, shadowing his mom and small family. A big brother now. He wasn't even trying to pay attention to the twins. Mom was here so he didn't have to. He could be on his own now. Sort of. His soul ached. He'd never felt so alone even surrounded by family as he was. Something so important was missing, this deep, gaping hole in his chest where everything seemed to spill out and leave him an empty shell.

    She pushed through his thoughts with a touch, then another. He almost pulled away from her, but remembered to stop himself. He blinked instead, and nodded. He hadn't really wanted to come here, but he'd just find himself a quiet corner somewhere and wait until they were ready to return to the den. Although likely, with mom's date here, he'd end up taking the twins home when they got tired and fussy and mom would join them when she was done.

    Kind of a young date.

    The guy kind of made him feel uncomfortable sometimes. So often Kharon was talkative, saying so much at once. And then other times he was completely silent. Aside from that though, he really did seem like a cool guy. Seemed to get him sometimes when no one else did. Not enough that Merry didn't still feel so isolated and alone, but it was still nice to have on occasion.

    Kharon seemed to be begging her with his handsome eyes and soft touches to go on another way, and Merry was glad to peel off and head for the treeline. He wanted to be in the shadows, in the dark. Where he belonged. Where he could be lonely in peace and wait for his family to be done here.

    [ Cimmerian ]

    try to make a fire burn again

    Reply
    #4

    She looks at Merry and her heart feels so heavy at the yawning distance that seems to have settled so firmly between them. It hadn’t always been this way though, this chasm was new to her and she had no idea how to cross it to reach him again. Even now he barely acknowledged her, didn’t try to engage with his siblings or even Kharon. It is like he is bare on the outside, hiding or hidden, all the parts that make him her baby tucked away someplace deep inside and dying.

    She is careful not to let him see how much this distance hurts her, how confusing it is that her baby, her sweet little Merry seems to be so completely gone from her. This boy is like a stranger. He is quiet and obedient, but there is no spark inside him, none of what made him Cimmerian. When he turns away without another word, disappearing into the relative quiet of the treeline, she lets him go. It is clear he doesn’t want to be here, and she wishes there were two of her. One version to stay here and watch the twins as they played, the other version to follow him into the dark and curl up at his side.

    She would ask Dovev to watch the twins soon, claim some time alone for just her and Merry. It didn’t seem like he wanted to spend time with her, that he wanted to let her in, but she would try anyway. Would never stop trying. Whatever had shifted between them had likely been her fault, because of something she had or hadn’t done. Maybe taking and raising him had been bad for him, maybe he would have been better off with Shah and Ilka. But even that thought wounded her selfish heart. Merry was hers, always hers.

    Her eyes don’t leave him for as long as it takes him to find his place among the shadows, waiting until he is safe and settled. In that instant she thinks it would be nice to have Kharon’s ability, to be able to whisper another I love you to where the black and white teen waits. But he had chosen to be away from her, to be alone.

    She wasn’t good enough for anyone anymore.

    Her heart feels heavy in her chest when she finally turns back to her beautiful companion, and though there is that same reflexive light shaping the echo of a smile into the corners of her mouth for him, it doesn’t quite reach her eyes. You should go, Kharon. Enjoy the evening. She thinks as she buries her face in the warmth of his shoulder, needing a moment to hide the hurt that tangles itself in thorns over the hollows of her mottled blue face. He’ll know what it is that hurts her even without her saying so, know this heaviness in her chest pushing shade into her heart.

    It even hurts when he calls her baby, hurts because she wants to be, wants to be his for a night. Maybe needs to be. It always feels so easy with him, always feels like she’s known him for lifetimes and being curled into his shoulder like this is like coming home. But she also knows he doesn’t mean these things he says to her, not with any kind of real emotion. She has learned again and again that men don’t mean the things they say to her.

    She sags, suddenly exhausted, and the lights she had buried so carefully against her fur and into the tangles of her mane disappear. She’ll hold the lights in the trees and along the pathways, keep the Island festive for the guests, but her part here is done. It is too hard to hold any joy in her heart when her Merry is so distant, so different. She shifts, and her lips find his jaw, his cheek, his nose in gentle little kisses before she leans back to look up at him with a smile pasted on her dark, broken face. Go on, have fun. She nods in the direction of the festivities, keeping that smiling mask so carefully in place like he won’t know the depth of the hurt hiding beneath. But it doesn’t matter, it isn’t important, she’d end up disappointing him anyway just like she had everyone else.

    — Luster —
    so we let our shadows fall away like dust ;
    Reply
    #5
    kharon

    oh baby, I have not been kind

    He'd nipped her and playfully danced away from her, his eyes bright. But her gaze stayed on Merry.

    His wings slowly lost their flashy little flare and his eyes dimmed, his expression falling until it was left blank with his wings limp at his sides. He lifted them and folded them back in, straightening and standing still.

    And she wasn't good enough for anyone anymore.

    What the fuck was he? Chopped liver?

    She came back to him with a false little smile and he turned his face as she told him he should go, should enjoy the evening. That's what he'd wanted to do with her. Have a good time, go out and dance. See her smile again. Hear her laugh a little. Have fun.

    It wasn't going to happen.

    He stayed still as she tucked her face into his shoulder. She didn't seem to like that he'd called her baby, following it with how meaningless it is coming from him. That he doesn't mean what he says, doesn't feel any real emotion. She neatly shoved him in the bag of shitheads she'd dated as if he were just the same. Yeah, great company. He'd clearly made a wonderful impression. Maybe he'd smiled too much or been too damn happy to be with her. His bad.

    Everything was so damn hard lately. Nobody was happy anymore. It was exhausting, so draining, and he'd been looking forward to a night where things could finally be light-hearted and fun. Happy at least for a couple hours or so. She'd rather be miserable though, and he'd rather not. He wasn't going to stay and listen to this. Maybe he was a shit guy in her mind but he was a goddamn beautiful catch to others and he deserved better.

    So he held still as she kissed over his jaw and his cheek, pulled his head away as she got nearer to his nose and mouth. Go on, have fun, she urged him, dismissing him again and sending him away. Yeah. Gladly. The party had barely started and he fully intended on righting this mood, finding someone that would actually enjoy him beside her, glow under his undivided attention. He'd just find his sexy Umbra. She'd be sure they had a good time.

    "Yeah, see ya," he offered hollowly as he turned and walked away, searching the thoughts in his head for the girl that would appreciate him, make it all better. Damn the fucking night if he didn't have a great time at a party like this. Wasn't about to let anything ruin it for him. He needed a good time and he'd have one.

    I wish I could scrape away the dirt that's on my mind

    Quotes are speech. Italics are telepathy
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    #6

    She’s known him too long not to see the change in him when she tells him to go, to enjoy himself away from where the dark teeming in her heart can reach him, can ruin this night for him. But she is so sloppy with her efforts, so reckless, because his wings are suddenly mute and still at his sides, that beautiful face a blank like stone. She’s so startled though, maybe so stuck in her own despair, and there isn’t enough time to react before he’s turning away with a hollow farewell and disappearing into the night.

    Everything in her is a riot of regret, this so familiar pain and despair that clings to her suddenly amplified by the brusqueness of his departure, by the sudden absence of a boy she’s come to care for so deeply. She hadn’t even considered what weight might be sitting heavily in his chest, how hurt he might be by her quiet attempt to keep him free of her pain.

    But she is frozen in place, silent and still as the carved statues in the snowy clearing around her. He had done as she asked of him, had left to find his own fun, and she had no right to call him back. Especially not when the reason for all of this was still hiding unresolved in the shadows. She still wanted to go to her boy, still struggled to find joy in the festivities around her while Merry remained just out of reach.

    There was no use calling him back to explain, she would only hurt him worse. She was good at that.

    So with one last glance at the twins, a reassurance that at least they had still been left intact despite her poisonous heart, she turned back the way she had come, crossing the short distance to the treeline where her dark and brooding boy had taken to the shadows. Her reflex is to reach out and brush quiet lips in a relieved whisper of a smile across the satin dark of his neck, but she remembers how blankly he had received her touch before, how even Kharon had preferred to step out of reach.

    She freezes halfway to him, breathes in sharply with a soft clenching of a worried jaw, and then drops her nose.

    “Hi baby.” So soft, still uncertain despite the way she tries so hard not to be. Tries so hard to be whatever it is he needs, whatever will restore this balance of beautiful dark in him. “Wanna tell me what’s going on?” And then she does reach for him, can’t stop herself from closing the distance between them and drawing him into her so gently. “I love you, Merry baby.”

    — Luster —
    so we let our shadows fall away like dust ;
    Reply
    #7

    He was only mildly surprised when she came to join him, and yet at the same time he was not at all surprised. She should be out there enjoying herself, and yet his depression had forced here with him. She never could stand it when he was unhappy. He used to be so happy.

    "Hi, baby," she greeted him softly as if she wasn't sure how she should act around him anymore. He still didn't look at her, staring out at all those happy faces, all those smiles, all the joy he couldn't even imagine anymore. "Wanna tell me what's going on?" She hugged him in to her, and after holding it for a moment, he lowered himself back to the ground to watch everyone and wait until they could leave.

    "I love you, Merry boy."

    "I love you too," he returned quietly. He didn't know how to answer her question. He didn't really know what was going on. He just.. He was here but he was missing. He was here but he also wasn't. There was so much of him missing, lost. He didn't really know why or how to fix it, how to find it again. It was just gone.

    "I'm okay," he told her instead, as much reassurance as he could manage. He really was okay. He just wasn't amazing or anything, if that was possible. "I don't mind watching them," he promised softly. "Go have fun. I'll watch them. I won't leave."

    He used to always leave.
    The night used to call him.

    [ Cimmerian ]

    try to make a fire burn again

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