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  • Beqanna

    version 22: awakening


    Wolfbane -- Year 210


    "She presses into him greedily, hungrily, and demands more. She does not know how to be gentle when she is with him—does not know how to quell the aching in her belly, the neediness in her touch. She would devour him whole. She would sacrifice herself completely. She would give and give and give—" --Tabytha, written by Laura

    of lost things;; any

    I want you to believe
    in things you cannot

    It is the sort of night where it seems the world is held together by nothing more than dreams. Like you could fold the sky into stairs and walk right up to the heavens. And keep walking, and walking, until you reach the darkness that lies behind the stars, and offer your hand in greeting.

    Hello, you say, my name is North.

    It hums in response, and you do not know if it is a name or a warning.

    She wakes without being certain she is awake.

    When it is clear sleep is lost to her, she walks slowly beneath a night sky heavy with stars. Her hair is wild and silver in the moonlight, a story in an of itself. When the tall grass brushes against her belly it seems like it too is trying to communicate a name, or a warning. She ignores it, and breathes deeply of the cool night air.

    Here in the quiet beneath the stars, most of the world in a deep sleep, you would never know that the land was thick with sickness. But you do know and for some reason it does not matter. You died once, and the memory of that weighs on every waking moment.

    North wakes once more,

    without realizing she had fallen asleep again.

    A black cat weaves through her legs proudly, a dead field mouse in his mouth. She sighs and is about to speak to him when the grass rustles somewhere behind her. She turns to look at the stranger, gaze sharp and neither welcoming nor unwelcoming.

    N O R T H

    The grulla paint traipsed around the meadow aimlessly, snorting lowly as spurts of steam erupted from his silken pink nose, Rouhi dragged his legs across the stretch of land as his mind began to race, he didn't quite know why he was wandering around so late at night, he wasn't hungry nor thirsty, perhaps lonely? The stallion halted for a moment before allowing the strength in his legs to dwindle, gently falling to the ground with the help of his pale wings, thrashing them around like a flightless bird as he made himself comfortable next to a couple bushes, shaking them violently as his body collided with them.

    The stallion looked up into the sky, the lustrous light of the stars was enchanting, yet somewhat bothersome, the male snorted as he relocated his wings, comfortably resting them on his side as he folded his knees, exhaling deeply as his eyelids shut, the stallion was relaxed and at peace for a while until he began to hear movement, usually he would suspect that a few small critters had been wandering around, but this sudden movement sounded larger. The grulla pivoted his taupe ears, silently shifting his weight as he became alert, he snorted as he stood, violently shaking his pelt as he got rid of any visiting pests, the stallion was calm, he knew that whatever had moved was probably not dangerous, mainly because he was alive and not being hunted, the stallion exhaled and opened his tender lips to speak "Hello?" he generically called out, his tone crisp as he cleared his airways, swishing his tail as it collided violently into his side, swatting any flies that had decided to rest on his pelt, the stallion stepped forward, allowing the ground below him to yield to his hoof-print, inquisitively staring into the expanse as he halted.  

    — Keep your dreams in check —


    "I miss the old sweet pain
    of night filling my veins"

    These days she isn't quite sure where sleep begins and where it ends-- and for those like her, when all the world seems a waking dream, the only peace to be found is in the dark folds of night. Even in the days long since past, when hope filled her chest and the optimism of youth ran like fire in her blood, she has always craved moonlight. And in turn the night has always suited her. She could be anything, with starlight draped around her like a second skin, with the darkness around her thick with silent promises, rife with possibilities.

    North turns to face the grulla. "Hello?" the stranger says into the night. She smiles without humor.

    "Hello," her voice is a low rumble that skims the top of the tall grass. 

    (She was born in a place where the grass grew short and sparse. She grew up in a place where the ocean winds hit you like a whip, and over time those winds shaped her the way the ocean shapes the cliffside- taking, always taking, softening in some ways and sharpening in others.)

    She takes a single step towards the stranger, nose extended in both a greeting and a test. The man does not smell infected, but she keeps her distance anyway. "Did I wake you?" She blinks, and it is hard to read her face but it suggests a lack of apology. And amusement, if anything else.

    With that look in her eye, she could be all kinds of trouble, or all kinds of salvation.

    N O R T H

    Rouhi <3

    The stallion stood motionless, a moment of soundless static as he peered inquisitevly at the mare "Uh, no?" he felt like he was proposing the answer to himself, unsure of whether to be confident or shy, the stallion stepped forward involuntarily and breathed deeply, his expression was blank now, only his eyes showed slight fear and surprise "I hope I haven't disturbed you" the stallion added as he gently dipped his head, his neck creasing all the way down to his shoulders which now pivoted to support the change of frame, his darker legs also changed their position in order to make himself comfortable, his wings now relaxed next to his sides as he shot a smile, the stallion cleared his throat awkwardly and lanced his lips open to speak "Apologies, my name is Rouhi" he tilted his head, his fluffy ears drooping to the side.

    Rouhi was quite inquisitive at this point, intrigued by the mare predecent to him, why was she here, especially with the plague floating around at all times, which was quite a worrying thing he thought. Although, why was he here then? Perhaps the need to socialise, or just to be around someone. The stallion snorted softly as he watched the mare, she appeared quite kind to the naked eye although her eyes portrayed a potential mischevious character.

    This land still seemed different to him, his homeland was barren and strict, yet this place was quite free, even though it was permeated with plague and sickness. He felt sorry for all the horses that had fallen sick, surprised he wasn't sick himself. He was still terrified though and wanted to get moving as soon as possible, quite possibly with a new companion. 

    — Keep your dreams in check —

    North Thanks for the pm! C:

    "She smells of salt and untold stories
    and shadows hide in her eyes"

    He seems a little young, a little lost. He might not be either of these things, so she does not jump to conclusions. North has forgotten what it was like to feel young, except in bits and pieces, scraps of memories triggered by the light falling just so, or a particular smell that carries with it a feeling with it that cannot be explained. These scraps never add up to the whole, though. She could not say how she would react to him if she were younger, because she does not remember what younger felt like.

    All she has is here and now and when she finally decides to smile she feels like it is sharp enough to cut through the moonlight. "There is nothing to apologize for, Rouhi. I'm North." He looks at her with an uncertain sort of intrigue and she shouldn't feel pleased but she does. He is not the only lonely one here.

    In the moments that follow, Roughi seems to flip between confidence and uncertainty. In comparison she is consistent, solid. She knows herself well, and how could she not after all these years? So when she steps forward to get a closer look at him, she does not need to think and rethink what to say-- the right words are there on her lips, as easy as breathing. "Would you like to walk with me?" She smiles sweetly, something like a dare in her playful eyes. And then she moves towards him, gently brushing her shoulder against him as she walks past. "I could use the company."

    She does not turn back to see if he follows.

    N O R T H

    Rouhi sorry I am the literal slowest

    Surely this moment could mark a new frontier in his rather prosaic life, a glint in his eyes shimmered as he nodded at the mare, unsure of whether she was even looking at him. The stallion gathered himself and moved with her, aborting his usual clumsy walk while he matched her pace, "Sure" he spoke up silently as he joined the mare quietly, unsure of how to connect to her; he was quiet, shy and rather unsure of himself most of the time but that needed to change and so he parched his dried lips to speak "So what brings you here" he stutters for a moment but rebalances his prattle "It's looking rather un-interesting out here" he tallied as he moved with her, looking around himself, there was practically nothing in sight, the plague was gripping beqanna like a tight fist, the grip only getting stronger as everything struggled. The stallion shivered for a moment before returning his attention to the mare, realising he was straying from her path.

    Rouhi wanted to use this moment to change himself, shape his quiet personality into a loud-mouthed crow, or possibly just something a little more interesting. He began with his gait, his short steps created a patter that represented the walk of deer, not entirely intimidating, Rouhi elongated his droopy legs and began to walk in a longer gait, placing his feet firmly on the ground, even this small change had made him more confident, a wide smile appearing on his lips as he moved forward, almost already reverting to his deer walk, too busy indulging in his new-found joy.

    — Keep your dreams in check —

    North Sorry if this is structured weirdly or something is off, almost 2 in the morning so I can't see too well aha

    "I know you,
    I know your secret names"

    Where she is solid and certain, steady in an effortless way, he can't seem to figure out if he is large or small, loud or quiet. North watches this all silently, a single ear tipped toward him in intrigue. Who is this man who shifts by the minute, who starts to take longer steps and speak in a bolder tongue? More importantly, who is it he wants to be?

    Rouhi seems to move in two different directions at once, which North finds amusing. She clucks playfully as his path starts to stray from hers, drawing him back. He asks what brings her here and the answer ping-pongs in her head before she decides how to respond.

    She doesn't say my children were born here,

    She doesn't say I don't recognize anywhere else,

    She just says "the meadow is familiar." Her grin struggles against the muck of her past. All that loss, all that loneliness, it is hard to rise above it sometimes. She's shuffling her feet, feeling a bit anxious, a lot restless. There is an oak ahead of them, maybe a quarter of a mile away, and she doesn't want to think about anything at all right now. "I'll race you to that tree." By the word race, she's already gone.

    N O R T H

    Rouhi it was perfect <3

    keep your dreams in check

    Rouhi seems to become more intrigued by the mare each second, patiently waiting for each answer she gives him as he walks alongside her, or at least tries to. The mare seems slightly restless, he had noticed her pace change but did not have much time to speak, the mare was already shooting off toward a large and old oak tree, she had already made it a quarter of the way before everything had registered inside his brain "Hey! Wait up a moment!" he yelped loudly as he shot into a fast-paced gallop, his wings steadily accompanying his side as they clenched together to reduce drag, he wasn't quite set on winning, in fact, he already knew he was going to lose, his feet already stumbling around as she shortened himself to a canter, nearing the mare as they made it to the tree, the grulla male began to pant slightly, a light giggle escaping his now raspy tone, at first he was quite carefree, his mood as high as the clouds flying by in the great blue sky. But this didn't last long, he knew something wasn't quite right inside him, usually by now he would be showing signs of re-birthing, his hooves would get hotter and hotter each day until his body exploded into flames. But none of this was happening, something was stopping it but he did not know what. In his head all he could think about was the plague, was he infected? He took a step back from the mare as his mindset changed for the worse. But now was not the time for that anyway, he could panic later.

    The grulla politely lifted his head to look back toward the mare "I wasn't expecting you to be that fast" he spoke unsurely at first but then lifted his merry tone once more, wondering what the mysterious mare had in store for him next, he looked on curiously; a desire within wanting to find out what was coming next.



    "do you believe
    in god?"

    There was never a wild thing that did not love to run.

    The sound of her hooves pounding in the damp earth pushes her on faster, faster-- until she is not North any more. She is not anything at all but the breath that heaves and the sweat that glistens and the moon-kissed mane and tail that tangle like seafoam. In this state she is something like a god.

    The tall grass parts as she charges through, and it seems to do so in prayer.

    (A memory-- "god is here" he said. The afternoon was unremarkable except it was hot. She was watching the sweat slowly bead on his neck until it rolled down his skin, taking her heart with it. "god is in all of us." And she laughed but only after he was gone did she realize it was because she wanted to believe he was right. And maybe in the end he was right, because what is god if not belief?

    So she made herself into a god, and she learned it was lonely.)

    It is over too soon. She wants to keep running even after she reaches the oak. She wants to go until she is deep, deep into the lush night-- until she is in a place where only dreams live. She does not.

    The boy is not that far behind. North frowns as Rouhi comes close then steps back again. She notices the uncertainty that sits behind his eyes, but she does not press him about it. She is more concerned with other things-- "You let me win," she huffs. It is unclear if her insulted tone is genuine or teasing-- it might even be both. She feels dangerous, and even more restless than before their race, and when she laughs it is not that different from the way a tiger would yawn. She peers at him out of the corner of her eyes, and slowly smiles that siren smile. "What's my prize?"

    It is not that unusual for a woman like her to feel like she could eat a man like him alive.

    The odd thing about it now is that, for the first time, North feels like she could want to.

    N O R T H

    Rouhi O_O

    keep your dreams in check

    His smile is momentarily stifled as a gripping tone rings in his ears, you let me win, his eyes convey a smear of fear for a moment, his body shifting uncomfortably to the side. For him the air is tense, heat rising off of his body as he cooled, his lips parting to speak; but he holds his breath.
    He is petrified of speech, but why would he be? His lips are frozen in the dry air as his mind races back and forth, trying to find the correct fit to his growing puzzle, he was completely lost in his own brain, trapped. 
    Only moments later he is able to relax, allowing his slightly stretching wings to part to his side, his ears fastened forward, set on listening to the mare, the velvet-like borders of his lips parting to speak "Perhaps I did. Perhaps I did not" he himself knew that he did not let her win, or at least he thought that way, although his short words do not betray his tone, his eyes lifted as he shifted his pose once more, tilting onto one of his back legs in comfort. Rouhi wasn't confused anymore, or so he thought. Any fear left was gradually escaping him, turning into confidence, or possibly something greater than that.

    What's my prize? her smile is almost sickening, her eyes piercing his soul as he lost his comfort once more, the grulla man stood heavy, only his breath was able to convey a slight hint of comfort, the rest of his body began to betray him, his frame stiff and his eyes locked with hers.
    What is my prize?  her words unravel, suddenly becoming a tight-knit of complicated sounds still ringing in his head, torturing each chamber of his exhausted mind, the trapped echo was only getting louder until he opened his mouth to speak "Anything" he speaks quietly but with purpose, his personality seemed to fade, his mind entranced by her gaze.

    The young man was a goner, succumbing to an entranced state of mind as his steps back reclaimed ground forward, his hooves standing atop the prints of a once unsure and disheartened horse, he was at her mercy now.


    North I hope this is good, I think it's alright and I hope I didn't do it wrong cause I panicked a bit, hope its okay!

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