09-22-2018, 11:45 PM
He watches her with them, smiling warmly at the soft touches and snuggles and the way they beam up at her, asking her to play. The way she nuzzles them and asks what they have in mind. But her smile never reaches her eyes. The warmth of her voice has an undertone of hollowness. Things he believes only he can see. Or at least he hopes. Something weighs heavy on her. He's been suspecting of such, and although she makes a valiant effort to hide it, he's been noticing more and more.
Call him selfish if you will, damn it, for he continues to try to get some kind of physical response from her. Just something, anything, to let him know she is here with him. With all three of them, of course, but also with him. His eyes are closed as his face is pressed into the soft of her neck behind her cheek, and he's glad for it, so that he misses any slip of expression- or anything he might not be ready for- passing over her face when he asks his amused little question. He feels it though- fuck- the slight bit of tension in her muscles. The little jump in her pulse- the opposite of the pleasurable kind. All in the span of a heartbeat or two before she pastes the smile on her face and shakes her head no. "Can you?"
He pulls away from her, though really only his face. Just for a moment. And his eyes trail on to where the girls were fading off into the distance. He sees in their posture how sneaky they think they are. He grins, amused. Though secretly he is glad they are wandering off for now. He doesn't like for them to go too far beyond where he can see. But he can't hold them forever. They deserved to explore some, to learn things that parents can't always teach. Besides, he wants a heart to heart with Dizzy. And now seems to be a good time for that.
He sighs, heart sinking in his chest. Succumbing a bit to the thoughts weighing so heavily on his mind. He touches her, but she only gives back the bare minimum. No longer leaning into him, no longer does he feel the burn that used to spark to life and rage between them. In reality it wasn't so long ago, but to him this last year has felt a lifetime. Long enough for him to grow concerned. He's tried space. But now he needed more. His beast is restless in his mind, as well. Not yet pacing, but the twitching of its dark muscles, the flex and retract of its claws.
For the moment, he is attempting to assuage the darkness, reaching back for her and tugging her closer to him. "I can, and I can't. Zoe reminds me of you, and Zynnie of me. They're better than us already, which is what we wanted. I don't always know what I'm doing, but.. All I know is I love them more than life." He lets the truth flow through him, and is surprised at the ease of which it comes. "I will love them always, no matter what." Pulling his face back enough to look at her, he lets the ache he's been harboring finally show.
Brown flecked with amethyst meet the rich chocolate of her eyes as he confesses that which she should already know. Words that need to be said. "It'll always be the same for you, y'know. No matter what happens or how things change, I will always love you, too." He stands frozen then. Never before feeling such a mixture of hot and cold. There is distance between them that he's tried to deny. Tried to convince himself it wasn't there. His stare finally breaks from hers and his head lowers, just a bit, gazing out ahead at the trees surrounding them and lining the river. He must do something. Even if right now he didn't know what.
Call him selfish if you will, damn it, for he continues to try to get some kind of physical response from her. Just something, anything, to let him know she is here with him. With all three of them, of course, but also with him. His eyes are closed as his face is pressed into the soft of her neck behind her cheek, and he's glad for it, so that he misses any slip of expression- or anything he might not be ready for- passing over her face when he asks his amused little question. He feels it though- fuck- the slight bit of tension in her muscles. The little jump in her pulse- the opposite of the pleasurable kind. All in the span of a heartbeat or two before she pastes the smile on her face and shakes her head no. "Can you?"
He pulls away from her, though really only his face. Just for a moment. And his eyes trail on to where the girls were fading off into the distance. He sees in their posture how sneaky they think they are. He grins, amused. Though secretly he is glad they are wandering off for now. He doesn't like for them to go too far beyond where he can see. But he can't hold them forever. They deserved to explore some, to learn things that parents can't always teach. Besides, he wants a heart to heart with Dizzy. And now seems to be a good time for that.
He sighs, heart sinking in his chest. Succumbing a bit to the thoughts weighing so heavily on his mind. He touches her, but she only gives back the bare minimum. No longer leaning into him, no longer does he feel the burn that used to spark to life and rage between them. In reality it wasn't so long ago, but to him this last year has felt a lifetime. Long enough for him to grow concerned. He's tried space. But now he needed more. His beast is restless in his mind, as well. Not yet pacing, but the twitching of its dark muscles, the flex and retract of its claws.
For the moment, he is attempting to assuage the darkness, reaching back for her and tugging her closer to him. "I can, and I can't. Zoe reminds me of you, and Zynnie of me. They're better than us already, which is what we wanted. I don't always know what I'm doing, but.. All I know is I love them more than life." He lets the truth flow through him, and is surprised at the ease of which it comes. "I will love them always, no matter what." Pulling his face back enough to look at her, he lets the ache he's been harboring finally show.
Brown flecked with amethyst meet the rich chocolate of her eyes as he confesses that which she should already know. Words that need to be said. "It'll always be the same for you, y'know. No matter what happens or how things change, I will always love you, too." He stands frozen then. Never before feeling such a mixture of hot and cold. There is distance between them that he's tried to deny. Tried to convince himself it wasn't there. His stare finally breaks from hers and his head lowers, just a bit, gazing out ahead at the trees surrounding them and lining the river. He must do something. Even if right now he didn't know what.