What makes our love so hard to be
Is it you, or is that just you with me
Ledger you have lost your mind. He is laughing, laughing with no trace of warmth or humor. It crackles like ice, becoming lost in the foam of saltwater that churns around his ankles. She claims the children exist but he can’t trust the words that fall from her lips. All she does is speak in lies. Like when she had claimed to love him. When he had made love to her. Had that even been real? Or was every sigh and every exclamation a forgery? Faked.
She lashes out at him with venom but it’s nothing compared to the anger of the bear inside him. Of the constant mounting layers of betrayal and loss. She is ravaged but still standing. He is broken and splintered before her. She doesn’t care. But how could she if she never had to begin with? ”So you admit it.” The laughter fading, his one eye looking to the endless expanse of ocean. Wondering if the bear could submit if he only sunk beneath it’s dark surface.
”You were with him. When you should have been with me. With us.” The fog lifted for those brief moments as he looks to her. The anguish churning in the fogged glass of his chest reflected in the mirror of his eye. ”I loved you Ellyse. I LOVED YOU WITH EVERYTHING I HAD!” Roaring words, unable to force the emotion of what she had taken from him. What she had done. As the sorrow expands in his breast, the glass heart cracks slightly at it’s bottom. He coils into himself with an exclamation of pain and surprise. It’s a piercing sharp stab that leaves him gasping for breath, that makes him fall to his knees into the froth. Seawater sprays against his chest, stinging the raw wounded skin. The pain is too much, shifting back to the other reality. The safer one where love was real, once upon a time. Not like this reality. Not like her.
There is so much left that’s unsaid. That she had been his world. That all he had ever wanted was her and their family. That he would give his life for her if she had wanted the same. But she hadn’t wanted that.. Had she? Or perhaps she had… But not with him.
”Scavenger.” Snarling into the wind, his body crumpled now into the water. Letting the stinging salt reach for him. ”He pecks and prods but he will never know you. He will never consume you. Did he save you? Can he save himself...” His words loud enough for her to hear as she coaxes the child away. As he rumbles to himself. ”I know you. I know you better than anyone. Don’t I Dad?” Magnus before him, still silent. Still filled with sorrow. It sounds like laughter when he starts again but there’s a distinct break in his voice, choking on silent tears that his glass heart refuses to release.
Ledger