So, now what?
If Bruise was really gone, and her heart broke to even think it, then where did that leave her now? Alone again. She didn't manage well on her own, and even now her heart was racing and she could feel the panic thickening in her throat and keeping her from breathing. Her sides heaved and she closed her eyes. Breathe, just breathe. She could find a way through this. She could just find another home. Or something. She didn't need anyone. No, she definitely needed someone. God, she wished Bruise were here. She'd follow him anywhere.
She worried her lip between her teeth and groaned mournfully to herself. What was she going to do? Should she stay nearby so Waylan can find her later? Should she-- but, no that wouldn't work, would it? How could she possibly claim the safety of his side when he had his own family to take care of. How selfish of her. She shouldn't hold him to his promise to keep her safe. That wasn't fair to him.
But she sure as hell wasn't going to the field. God, all those people in one place. And the meadow, too.
No. Not happening. She couldn't do it.
She avoided people, was deathly uncomfortable with attention. Something about her made them always look, and sometimes they kept looking. It was dreadful. It must have been her twisted spine, but nobody ever really said anything about it. Polite kindness, maybe. Either way, she was clearly going to have to stick to the forest. Perhaps she'd happen on a person alone and not a terrifying crowd. But a safe person.
Oh god, what if she were found by a cruel one?
Best to keep on the move then, maybe. And she started walking again, following the scent of the sea. Just to check. Just in case Bruise really was there and washed up. What if he needed her? Just to see.