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    COTY

    Assailant -- Year 226

    QOTY

    "But the dream, the echo, slips from him as quickly as he had found it and as consciousness comes to him (a slap and not the gentle waves of oceanic tides), it dissolves entirely. His muscles relax as the cold claims him again, as the numbness sets in, and when his grey eyes open, there’s nothing but the faint after burn of a dream often trod and never remembered." --Brigade, written by Laura


    kerberos
    #1
    kharon
    Madness.

    It must have been madness taking him, and he couldn’t seem to care. Instead, he lay there on his side, basking in the sun with wings pulled straight and out to keep them from being crushed under his weight. His mind was consumed. Consumed with her. Watching her from here, this distance. She was glorious. Young, slender, and slowly getting the best curves. So beautiful. Every inch of her had something to trace, something to remember. Something to taste. He remembered how it felt to kiss her, even if only briefly. He could remember the feel of her soft skin under his lips as he brushed his mouth slowly down her neck, that smooth curve of muscle that just begged to be bitten.

    He groaned, thankful she was too far to hear it. Fuck.
    What was wrong with him.

    He rolled to sit up, folding his wings loosely at his sides and letting them blanket him. The salty sea breeze toyed with his still-short hair, some tufts standing on end and curling over. A familiar scent was carried with it and an icy shiver instantly rushed down his spine. His shoulders tensed, but he tried not to show it, tried not to visibly acknowledge him at all as he swallowed a lump of apprehension.

    Oh, fuck. Extra fuck.

    How long had he been staring at her?

    He drew up an easy smile and turned to him. And the smile vanished. Ah, man. Dad turned and walked off a ways, but he knew that wasn't the end of it. He was supposed to follow. Rising to his feet, he spared another glance at her, still there walking the shoreline with the sun glittering off her damp skin and hair. Little droplets beaded and clung desperately to her, refusing to let go. He could understand. Maybe he'd refuse too.

    Oops.
    Damn.

    Ugh, this wasn't good.

    He sighed quietly, and reluctantly followed Dad's trail into the trees with a growing knot in his belly. He tried smiling again and only managed a grimace.

    ”Hey, Dad.”
    Quotes are speech. Italics are telepathy
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    #2
    I’ve kept an eye on the two of them since I scooped them out of the sea. Something about the way Kylin had kissed him, might’ve just been panic and worry over whether he was gonna be okay or not, but it was enough that I started to pay attention, yeah? They may not know their grandfather, but I did. And it’s good to be careful, nip these things in the bud before they can get too far.

    ‘Course, I’m not gonna make something out of nothing. I treat ‘em like always, playing and cuddling and having fun, making them little presents and having little chats and spending time together without it really even on my mind. But now and again I catch little glimpses of maybe something in their eyes, or the way they’re so close, always tucked up against each other.

    And today.

    Today there’s definitely more than maybe something in Kharon’s eyes as he watches his sister, ogles her really, there’s no other way to put that one. That groan, the way he tries to shake it off, shifting and resettling his wings. Right. Time for a little chat, then, eh? When Kharon stills and looks over at me with a smile on his face and guilt in his eyes, I give him a look and nod off toward the woods behind me, start walking when I see he catches my drift.

    This is a talk we need to have in private, yes?

    Poor kid knows it, too, by the look on his face, a pained grimace that definitely didn’t manage to be the easy smile he was probably going for. “Hey, Dad,” he says, looking nervous as fuck as he stands before me. I want to pull him in for a hug and tell him it’s gonna be okay, that he’s got nothing to worry about and I’m just trying to help him not make the same mistakes I did. But that part will come after.

    “Hey, son,” I say instead, taking a deep breath and trying to actually think this talk through, decide how the hell to broach the subject. “So we need to have a talk, huh? If you’re eyeing your sister like that, seems like it’s time for a chat.” Or I could just blurt things out, that works too. Shit. “It’s perfectly natural to have feelings, and be curious, and want to look at a pretty girl, or do more than look. At your age, things are changing, and you’re growing up, becoming a man. It’s natural to want to explore those feelings. Hell, I’ve done my fair share of exploring, and if you ever have any questions, I’m here and I’m happy to talk to you, okay? Any time. No question too embarrassing, you can always come to me, okay? In fact, we should definitely have a talk about that too.”

    That part’s the easy part. Sex talk, no problem. Hell, I’ll walk him through it, give him a blow by blow, I’d maybe even offer a demonstration if I was still banging his mom, though probably Lacey wouldn’t be up for an audience. Thought had never much bothered me, though, hell, walk through the Meadow during the right time of year and it was hard to miss at least one couple knocking one out in the name of love or lust or procreation. No such thing as privacy, not really, and if he hadn’t grown up on an island where not a whole lot of sex was happening (no complaints) he’d probably already have caught someone in the act by now.

    Our species wasn’t exactly known for subtlety.

    “Thing is, son. Kylin isn’t the right person to explore those feelings with. I know you two are close, and she’s a pretty girl, but she’s your sister. I’m gonna ask you a question, and I want you to answer honestly, okay? And no matter what your answer is, I’m not gonna be mad, and I’m not gonna love you any less. You’re my kid, I’m always gonna love you, and I’m always gonna be here for you, okay? Is looking all you’ve done with Ky?” Kind of important to know how far things have gone, so I know what needs saying and what doesn't.
    Bite my shiny metal ass.
    Reply
    #3
    kharon
    His eyes felt heavy. Or, at least, it was really, really hard to lift them from the ground. He must have thought through the movement ten times before he could finally spare just a glance up at Father. He wasn't happy. He didn't look pissed, so that was good, but he definitely wasn't his usual charm and winning smile. And when he took a deep breath, Kharon knew this was definitely a serious talk. Ah, man. And suddenly he couldn’t seem to meet Father’s eyes anymore, and he pretty much looked anywhere else at all.

    He blushed immediately as soon as Kylin was brought up and his feathers ruffled nervously. Yeah, he’d definitely been caught staring a little too hard at her. But he couldn’t help it. She was so beautiful, and it wasn’t like there were a whole lot of options. Oh, that sounded terrible. Really, though, she was the best-looking thing around their island home. And… it felt good to do more than just look. At least he had only been looking when Father found him, right? At least that was usually the only thing he did.

    ”Thing is, son. Kylin isn’t the right person to explore those feelings with…” Kharon felt a flutter of frustration, because, yeah, he wanted to explore those feelings. That was natural, right? It wasn’t bad. It felt good. She felt good. But if not her, then who? Why not her? So what if she was his sister, it wasn’t like he was going to make her have kids or anything. She looked so damn good. And she wanted him. She wanted his attention. It should be okay if she wants it too, right?

    And then Dad asked another question, and it dropped so heavily on his little inner ranting and silenced him.
    ”Is looking all you’ve done with Ky?”

    He set his eyes firmly at his feet as his heart sank. He didn't want to answer that. He didn’t want to lie to Father, but he didn’t want to upset him either. He needed to always have his love, and what if he wouldn’t love him anymore if he knew? Of course, Dad said he would, that it wouldn’t change anything, but he couldn’t let go of the sharp fear holding his tongue captive. So, he started nodding. Yes, only looking. He had only looked. Nothing else. He only looked at her.

    But the guilt hurt so bad too, weighed so very heavily on his spine and pushed a tear to his eye. He didn’t want to lie to him. He couldn’t. So, he swallowed and his nodding slowed. Slowed. Then stopped. He closed his eyes and shook his head once.

    No. He’d done more than just look.
    And what was worse, he wanted a lot more than that.
    He thought about doing so much more than that.

    ”I kissed her,” he said to his feet after a long pause. It had been so brief, so light. But he’d wanted more. And he had taken a little more, too. He’d felt the soft of her creamy skin under the brush of his lips down her neck. She hadn’t been afraid like he thought she would be. She’d welcomed it. She wanted more too. Didn’t that make it okay somehow? ”She liked it, too,” he said quietly, hoping that made it better some how. Made it alright. He just needed everything to be alright. He needed his dad.

    ”She wants to be with me. Doesn’t that make it okay?” he asked, his hopeful eyes finally lifting. ”Isn't it right if we both want it?”

    And if it was wrong, would he listen.
    Quotes are speech. Italics are telepathy
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    #4
    He nods, and I’d be a whole lot more reassured if he were looking me in the eye instead of staring at his feet. And then he starts tearing up, and I know. Before he even says the words, I know. It’s not nearly as bad as it could’ve been, just a little kissing, which is a relief. Better to catch it before they’re sneaking off into the jungle to hook up. Or losing control and making the same kind of mistakes I made when I was not much older than they are.

    “No, son. It would, with any other girl. Anyone not related by blood. But she’s your twin, and I get that that makes you two extra close. I do.” To some extent at least, I guess it’s hard to completely understand since I don’t have one myself. Still. “I know how much you love her. But the kind of touching you’re talking about isn’t appropriate with family. You shouldn’t touch Ky like that, same as I shouldn’t because she’s my daughter.” Hell, even the passing thought of touching her makes my stomach churn.

    But I know it was different when I was his age. Hell, look at Min. She wouldn’t exist if I had been the kind of man I am now, the kind of man I hope my son will be. “I made some mistakes when I was younger, Kharon. I just don’t want you to have the same regrets I do. You have an older sister, Minerva. I had her when I was far too young to know what the hell I was doing, and I didn’t do a good job raising her. And her mother’s...well, my grandmother. I’ve never told anybody that before. But I think you should know. My dad, he’s...well, he’s the man who invaded Ischia, the reason we left for a little while. And he believes very differently about who it’s okay to touch, so I grew up with a very different understanding of what’s right and wrong. A very different understanding of what family means.”

    I pause, ducking my head to look Kharon in the eye. “I guess...I guess, Kharon, that it’s time for you to decide what family means to you. I hope that your sister means more to you than your curiosity about sex. I hope she’s someone you want to love and protect, even from yourself. There are a million other girls out there, son. Believe it or not, some are just as pretty. Some are just as special, in their own ways. I think it would be wise for you to meet some of them. Without Kylin. And I think it would be good for her to meet some more boys, without you.”
    Bite my shiny metal ass.
    Reply
    #5
    kharon
    Dad said no. Any other girl, but not Kylin.

    It weighed down his shoulders, sat so heavily on his back. His wings drooped to the ground a moment before he forced them to slowly lift and tucked them back in. He didn't want to look like a sulking child in front of his father, even if he suddenly felt so down and depressed, his gut soured. There had to be a way around it, though, right? There had to be a way for it to be okay.

    "You shouldn't touch Ky like that, same as I shouldn't because she's my daughter."

    He bristled and stiffened. He definitely didn't want Dad to touch her the way he does. Jealousy, or maybe he was territorial. It was wrong for Dad because Kylin was his, not Dad's. He wouldn't take her from Kharon, would he? But no, that was stupid. Dad didn't want her the way he did. Dad liked her like... like. Family.

    Ugh, and his shoulders slumped all over again, because he was supposed to like her like family, too. Only family. What if it was love though? Like, real love. Shouldn't that count? Shouldn't that be more important than stupid blood or whatever. God, this sucked. So stupid. The whole line of his body was wilted and miserable. Why'd he have to get caught watching her? Then maybe none of this would have happened and he could still.. do whatever.

    Dad was talking again. Minerva, he remembered her. He'd met her briefly but he hadn't known she was.. a sister. She hadn't told him that, maybe they'd split ways before she could or something. And her mom was Dad's grandmother. Kharon almost got hopeful for a minute, because see? Dad ignored blood ties too. But the way he said everything made it sound bad, and that he regretted it, and Kharon was fairly certain his young face was probably stuck in a permanent, hopeless grimace.

    Then the invasion. Those strangers that swept in like they owned the place to tear apart their home and family. He tensed again and his eyes hardened, though he kept them firmly on the ground, stiff and reluctant to meet Father's eyes. Except those strangers hadn't been strangers at all. That had been Dad's family! All those purpled idiots were related to them!? No. No, he wouldn't accept it. He was NOTHING like them. And the way he said "Dad" certainly didn't sound like how Kharon said it. Apparently, Father wasn't too pleased with his dad's choice of brides either, and it was clear what he meant.

    His grandfather. His grandfather tried to steal their home and fucks whoever he wants.

    He was still glaring when Father lowered to catch his eye. He didn't want to glare at his dad, but it seemed neatly stuck there with all the bitter emotions tumbling through him. "I'm nothing like him!" he spat instantly. Then he looked immediately stricken, and glanced away again. Because maybe he was a little like him. He wanted Kylin, didn't he? Tears glimmered in his eyes again and he felt sick. He was awful, he was gross. Even his gift was wrong and hurt people. He was bad, just like he thought on his first day of life, even. He was terrible, a mistake.

    His heart suddenly felt so raw and shredded, tender meat through a grinder, and he swallowed against a sob, still trying to hide his face from his dad. A tremble started in his legs and he wondered... if maybe he should leave. Really leave. Maybe he should save them all from himself like Father said and get away from their island. Maybe he should find other millions of girls like Dad said. Without Kylin. Without any of them. Maybe they were better off without him. Maybe they wouldn't even miss him.

    "And I think it would be good for her to meet some more boys, without you."

    He flinched and his eyes flew to Father's again. "Dad!" Somehow shocked by this last part. And hurt. God, it hurt so badly. Without him. Kylin without him. Other boys. Other boys without him?

    He wilted again, crying openly now. "Everything hurts," he whispered. He trusted Father knew what was best, but why did it hurt so bad? Why did she feel right and this feel so wrong and painful? He didn't want to be like his grandfather though. Nothing like him, not from what he'd seen of him. But Kylin. His head shook and more tears slipped down his lavender cheek. "I don't understand," he admitted. He couldn't bear the thought of losing her. Right and wrong was so hard to find, would he ever figure it out? "It hurts so bad. I don't want to stop. She loves me. I don't want to stop.." he said thickly, his voice trailing off.

    Maybe he should leave. Maybe he should get away for a while. Could he even survive without Kylin there with him? Maybe it was better for her if he was gone. Like Father said, maybe he should be protecting her from himself. Protecting all of them.
    Quotes are speech. Italics are telepathy
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    #6
    Well. This is going about as well as I expected it to. He’s all over the place, the way teenagers often are. Back and forth between drooping and depressed, and stiff with anger. I really set him off with that bit about my dad, as it happens, ‘cause he glaaaares. Spits out a fierce, “I’m nothing like him!” and then promptly curls in on himself, tearing up. Shit.

    “Hey. I know that. You’re not like him, son. Not what I was saying, not at all. You’re my Kharon, my son, and I know you’re so much better than where I came from.” He looks downright horrified at the thought of Kylin with other boys, and I sigh and pull him into a hug. “I know. C’mere, son, I know it hurts.” I hold him close, tucking him up against my chest even if he doesn’t fit there quite the way he used to anymore. God, they grow up so fast, huh?

    “Kharon, I know it hurts to hear that, but she’s not yours, not like that. Whether she loves you right now or not, she’s not yours to touch. And someday she’ll be touching other boys, just like you’ll be touching other girls. Someday she’ll be having sex with other boys, because she’s not for you, son, not like that. I know you don’t want to hear it, but you need to. Just like someday, hell, maybe someday soon, you’ll be having sex with girls who aren’t her. Maybe even falling in love with girls who aren’t her. Because you aren’t for her either.”

    I sigh again, brush the hair off his face. “You’ve got to make the choice, son. You can either keep flirting with disaster, sleeping next to her, sneaking off for alone time with her, every touch making it worse, making it so much harder to walk away, making it impossible for either of you to move on. Or you can be the better man, and put some distance between the two of you. Find somewhere else to sleep, hell, you can come sleep by me if you want to. I’m sure as hell not banging your mom so it’s not like you’d be interrupting anything. Spend time with Ky, sure, but do it where you’re not alone, where you won’t be so tempted to touch her again when there are eyes on you, where you won’t risk getting carried away.”

    Shit, he’s in for a rough time, isn’t he? At least for now. “It won’t be easy, especially not at first, but I’m here for you, okay? If you’re hurting, you can come talk to me. Hell, if you want, I can help you find some other girls to talk to, teach you how to flirt with them. Bet you could find a girl who’d be interested in no time flat, look at you, you’re a chip right off the old block and all. Handsome, smart, got a good heart beating in that chest of yours, too.” Hmm, maybe we can get him thinking about other girls. Get him laid, and he’ll spend more time thinking about the girls he can have, and a whole lot less thinking about one he can’t.

    Wonder if that approach would work for Ky too? I’ll have to talk to her mom about it. Later. After me and Kharon get out and have a little fun. “You know what? I think you’re old enough to party with your old man. We could rope Reilly in too if you want, go have some fun? The Forest’s usually a pretty good bet, I’m sure we could have a good time, maybe find a few girls to flirt with, maybe do a little more than flirting.” I grin, nudge him with my shoulder. “Best way I know to get over heartache. What do you say?”
    Bite my shiny metal ass.
    Reply
    #7
    kharon
    It all hurt. It hurt so bad. He didn't understand this. And, god, he didn't want to be anything like his grandfather. But..Kylin. He wanted Kylin.

    Father pulled him in to his chest, and he ducked his head to fit better, pressing a damp cheek to the solid iron. He guessed he'd gotten taller since the last time Dad had held him so close. And he heard every word his father said, but maybe it was that smooth voice that really soothed him. Just the exact same as he'd heard it in Mother's mind that one time so long ago. As though he were a child again, safe at home without worries and Father's voice.

    Kharon pushed closer as the hurt kept coming, burying himself in the shelter of his father's embrace even as he took every sting from what he was saying. The right voice but all the wrong words. Everything his dad knew he needed to hear.

    She wasn't his. Not his to touch. Not hers to touch. She'll touch other boys, he'll touch other girls. And then they'd have sex with others, too. Because she wasn't his. And he wasn't hers. Sex with other girls. Fall in love with other girls. It all sounded so ridiculous, so backwards. So mixed up. Everything was so messed up.

    It was all so much to take in. So painful. Nothing at all like what he'd wanted to here, and everything like what he'd been afraid to hear. Damn, he should have payed more attention. Shouldn't have gotten caught watching her. This never should have happened. Why did things have to change?

    Dad sighed and brushed the hair from Kharon's face. He looked up at him, gray for gray, but maybe up was only up because his head was lowered. Had he really grown so much? He had to make the choice, Father said. Flirt with disaster. Sleep next to her. Sneak off together. Touching each other. It all sounded good, and he felt awful that it did. Was he terrible for liking it? Was he bad?

    Or he could be better. Put distance between them. That sucked to even think about. To even consider. Kylin had always been at his side. Find somewhere else to sleep? Sleep without her curled next to him? He could be at his dad's side, though. He always loved more time with his dad, even if it was only for sleep. He wanted to be just like him. He wanted Dad to always love him.

    He didn't know what to say, still just soaking it all in, trying to understand it or accept it, so he didn't say anything.

    It wouldn't be easy, Dad said. Especially not at first. And he'd help find girls to talk to. Kharon grimaced at the thought of talking to other girls. Of course he had before, but... Kylin had usually been there too, and it wasn't the same, maybe. Going somewhere without Kylin sounded a little weird too.

    He gave Father a hesitant smile though. A chip off the old block? He really thought so? Handsome, smart, a good heart. Kharon slowly slipped back into himself, the attractive boy with touseled hair and confident eyes. He was beautiful, wasn't he? Because he looked like his father, and Father was gorgeous. He supposed he didn't really get anything from Mother. That was probably for the best. Maybe that sharp little glitter of blades when he was mad, but he wasn't angry often enough to know for sure. Rarely, so.

    "You know what? I think you're old enough to party with your old man." Kharon's eyes shined with curiosity, just a bit hopeful. "The Forest? We'll leave the island?" He couldn't help but be interested in that. Leaving somewhere with his dad, wow! Maybe find some girls to flirt with, he said. Maybe do more than flirt, he added with a nudge to Kharon's shoulder.

    He blushed, but held the smile. Girls were okay, maybe, but more than talking didn't sound like such a good idea. Didn't really sound so appealing if Kylin wasn't there with him. But he nodded, because he wasn't dumb enough to miss out on a chance to go out with Dad.

    "Yeah.. Okay, I guess."
    Quotes are speech. Italics are telepathy
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